My Brother's Girl
by happysunshine01
Summary: AU. After losing her family, JJ moves in with her aunt and uncle. A new chapter of her life unfolds when she starts a relationship with the goodhearted Sean Hotchner. But their happiness is short-lived when Sean's older brother, Aaron Hotchner, comes into town and disrupts their lives. Torn between the two brothers, JJ experiences the different sides love has to offer.
1. Prologue

A/N: This is a new story I have been busy with for the past few weeks. This idea came to me when I started to wonder what Hotch would be like as the bad boy. This story is new and exciting for me because I don't know how people will respond to this. The next chapter will be a year after this one.

Let me know if it's worth continuing!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

"Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back, don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours."

~ Unknown

* * *

**Prologue**

_Blinding lights were speeding towards our car and I felt my entire body freeze. I heard the screams of my sister, warning my dad. But there wasn't any time for him to react and I felt the car colliding with another one. Before I could get a grip on something I felt the car rolling over. It was like time suddenly slowed down and I felt every slam of my body against the metal and glass. I tried to focus on my family but everything around me became a haze. I tried to fight it off. But the darkness claimed my sight._

_The sounds of sirens and screams forced me to wake up again. I gasped as I opened my eyes. Horror filled my body as I tried to move but the seatbelt around me disabled me. I looked around me to find a way to get out, but the sight I saw wasn't something I wanted to see. I looked into the eyes of my sister. I instantly closed my eyes because I didn't want to be confronted with the truth. The emptiness in her eyes, the blood streaming down her face. It all meant she was dead. Tears escaped my eyes and I started to scream. Not once in my life did scream so loud. I did everything I could to forget the pain, but the building pressure in my chest made me realize something was very wrong. I didn't have the energy to escape the wreckage. I kept screaming for help as I heard the sirens come closer. My cries for help turned into sobs until no sounds came from my throat and my body was giving up on me. The last thing I saw were footsteps in front of me. The loud thuds of shoes colliding with the pavement made my headache worse than it was at first, but my annoyance subsided when my body weakened. My eyes closed and I didn't feel a thing._

* * *

_**Three days later…**_

JJ was laying in the hospital bed while she was still unconscious. It had been three days since the accident and she hadn't woken up. Her face had several bruises and cuts from the shattered glass. Her condition was worse than they initially thought and doctors couldn't confirm if she was going to wake up. The severe head trauma she suffered led to her unconsciousness.

''I can't take this, Tom.'' Sara said to her husband as a tear streamed down her face. She already had to deal with the loss of her sister, brother in law and niece. She couldn't lose JJ as well.

''She'll make it.'' Tom whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. Over her shoulder he saw JJ. She looked battered. In his line of work he saw things like this, but this was different. It happened to his family and he never thought he would lose so many people at once.

''She has to wake up.'' Sara cried out. ''We can't burry them without her Tom. I know she would want to be there.''

''The funeral is tomorrow, honey. We can't move it to another day.'' he tried to explain, but the grief on her face stopped him from saying another word.

Sara turned to JJ and took her hand in hers. She was about to sit down when she suddenly felt a weak squeeze. ''JJ?'' she called out.

''What is it?'' Tom asked.

''She moved.'' Sara answered quickly. ''JJ? Can you hear me?''

JJ heard a voice calling out her name. Everything around her was a haze and the voice seemed miles away. She forced herself to concentrate on the voice and she slowly opened her eyes. She saw her aunt and uncle hovering above her. She tried to move, but she felt a sharp pain in her chest.

''You're okay.'' Sara cried out as she put a strand of hair behind JJ's ear. The tears of happiness fell down her face. JJ survived. It felt like a miracle after everything that happened.

''What happened?'' JJ croaked out, hoping she would feel better soon. ''Where am I?''

''Don't you remember what happened?'' Tom asked carefully. He didn't see any recognition on JJ's face. He immediately knew she needed a push before she remembered what happened.

JJ tried to think. She suddenly saw an image of shattering glass before her eyes. Her heart started racing when she realized what happened. ''The accident.'' she whispered. ''A car hit us. And Nic. She…she...'' JJ stumbled.

''JJ, you need to calm down.''

''Where are mom and dad? And where's Nicole?'' JJ asked frantically as she tried to sit up in the bed.

Tom knew Sara didn't have the heart to tell her what happened. So he decided to tell JJ. She deserved to know the truth. They couldn't hide it from her. ''They're gone.''

''No! Noooo!'' she cried out. ''They can't be dead.''

Sara sat down on the edge of the bed in the hopes of getting JJ to calm down. ''I am so sorry, JJ.'' she whispered as she pulled her niece into her embrace.

''No.'' she whispered softly. ''This can't be happening.'' she cried out. The shock was still present. Her body was shaking as she kept crying. She didn't believe it. But when she tried to remember, she knew it was true. She could remember the headlights coming their way, the shattering of glass and the screams of other people. It was true. A day of celebration turned into a day of darkness which she would never forget.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it.

Special thanks to Westie80, Sophia0665 and Bea!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 1: Surprise return**

_**Eleven months later… **_

JJ looked up from her book when she heard a noise coming from downstairs. She immediately rose from her boyfriend's bed and looked at him with a worried expression. ''I thought your parents were gone for another week.'' she said rhetorically.

Sean put away his own book and stepped next to JJ. ''Yeah, I think so.'' he answered, walking towards the door. ''I'll be right back.''

''Okay.'' JJ said as she retreated back to the bed. She took her book and went back to her reading.

Sean walked down the stairs and into the living room. He hadn't seen anyone yet until he turned his back to the kitchen. He saw a familiar figure with his back turned to him. He wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. ''Aaron?'' Sean called out.

When Hotch heard his name, he immediately turned around to face his little brother. ''Hey.'' he greeted happily. ''How have you been?''

''I should ask you that question.'' Sean mocked.

Hotch sighed deeply. ''Do you still blame me for leaving and not coming back home?''

''It's not my business.'' he replied. ''I just don't understand how you could just leave and not contact your own family for four years.''

''We both know that I wasn't welcome here.''

''I don't want to hear any excuses.'' Sean said angrily. ''I don't care. You left and I grew up without my brother.''

''Well, we're more alike than I ever thought.'' Hotch commented. He wasn't sorry for leaving and he wasn't going to apologize for making his own choices. At the time it all felt right and he knew he didn't make a mistake. ''Who's that?'' Hotch asked when he spotted a photo on the fireplace. The photo had Sean and JJ on it. Sean had his arms wrapped around JJ as he stood behind her.

Hotch didn't get an answer from Sean. He took the photo from the fireplace and took a closer look. The girl was the same age as Sean. Her piercing blue eyes were the first thing he noticed. ''She's a hottie.'' he teased.

Sean angrily took the photo from his brother's grip. He didn't want him involved in his life. Especially not with JJ. ''She's my girlfriend!''

''You did good. What's her name?''

''I think you should leave.'' Sean ordered, but his brother dropped to the couch and started laughing. ''You haven't changed, have you?''

Hotch shook his head. The answers was a simple no. He hadn't changed and he wasn't planning on it either. ''Where are your lovely parents?''

''They're our parents, Aaron.'' Sean corrected.

''No, they're not. Or did you forget how they treated me?''

Sean tried to stay calm. He wished he could punch Hotch in the face. ''You deserved it.''

Hotch was about to say something when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He saw a flash of worry appear on Sean's face. Hotch rose from the couch and hurried to the stairs. He heard Sean follow him, but he didn't wait for his little brother.

''You need to go.'' Sean said, following his brother to the stairs. He stopped behind him. He didn't want JJ to meet his older brother.

Hotch ignored Sean the entire time. He noticed the beautiful blonde from the picture standing on the staircase. Her face was filled with questions marks and Hotch felt excited to answer them all. He would do anything to make his brother's life a little harder. And not to mention that the blonde girl looked absolutely stunning. Although she didn't look like the kind of girls he usually spent time with. There was something different about her. He just couldn't put his finger on it. ''Who are you?'' he asked with a smirk.

Sean stepped in front of Hotch when JJ was about to extend her hand. ''I think you should go home.'' he suggested to JJ.

''Oh, Sean.'' Hotch sighed. ''Don't be such a little boy.'' he teased. ''I'm Aaron.''

JJ felt the tension between Sean and the older guy. It felt quite weird, but he looked harmless to her. If she was honest he looked like the bad boy type, but not in a dangerous way. ''I can stay.'' she said to Sean, trying to reassure him. ''I'm Jennifer Jareau.'' JJ said as she shook Hotch's hand.

''She's pretty.'' Hotch said, turning to Sean. ''I see you did very well for yourself little brother.''

''Brother?'' JJ asked surprised. She didn't know Sean had a brother. He never talked about him. They actually never talked about family. Mostly because JJ was the one who wanted to avoid the subject. The only family she had died. And now she lived with her aunt and uncle.

''He didn't tell you?'' Hotch asked. He wasn't surprised at all.

''There wasn't much to tell.''

JJ felt the tension rise and it became more uncomfortable by the second. She didn't want to interfere in Sean's personal business too much. So she turned to Sean. ''I'll see you tomorrow.'' she said. And then she turned to Hotch. ''It was nice to meet you, Aaron.''

''Likewise, Jennifer.'' Hotch said with a smirk.

Sean took JJ by her hand and walked her to the door. He leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. ''Bye.'' he whispered as he opened the door for her. He closed the door behind her and made his way back into the living room. He saw that Hotch joined him. ''Why are you really here?''

''Jennifer seems great, Sean.'' Hotch started, but he was immediately caught off by Sean.

''You need to stay away from her!'' Sean warned.

''Are you afraid she'll fall for my bad boy charm and leave you?'' Hotch asked. ''Don't worry!''

''Why do you have to act like this?'' Sean asked. ''I just don't get why you have to be this person.''

''I don't really like to talk about all those deep emotions, Sean.'' Hotch started. ''We can talk in the morning. I think I need some sleep. My room will probably still be there.''

Sean leaned back in the couch as Hotch left the living room. He couldn't believe that his brother was actually back. He hadn't seen him for four years, but Sean never missed him. When he was around, he only caused trouble. He wished he would just leave. Sean knew Hotch had to be up to something or something had happened. He wouldn't just come back without reason. That wasn't like him at all.

Sean was pulled from his thoughts when his phone started ringing. He saw it was JJ and he picked up instantly. ''Hey.'' he greeted affectionately.

''_Hi.'' _JJ greeted back. _''Are you okay?''_

''I'm good.'' he answered, hoping JJ wasn't mad at him. ''I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my brother. He's just not worth talking about.''

''_It's fine, Sean. I just wanted to make sure you were okay because you looked flustered when I left.''_

''You don't need to worry about me, JJ.'' he replied happily. He liked that she cared. She was the sweetest person he had ever met in his life. ''I'll see you tomorrow at the party.''

''_Yeah, I'll be there around nine. I promised Stacy that we could go together.'' _she explained. _''She's still heartbroken over her break-up with Ryan so I want to make sure she doesn't lose it tomorrow. We both know she'll be all over other guys to forget about Ryan.''_

''I get it. It's fine.'' Sean said softly. ''I love you, JJ.''

''_I love you too.''_

''Bye.''

''_Bye.''_


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone likes it.

Special thanks to jenny crum, Westie80, Sophia0665 and meep!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Attraction**

JJ stood in front of the mirror in a newly bought dress. It was a little black dress which she bought herself. She knew her aunt would never buy the dress for her. She let her hands slide down the material that clung to her small frame. The dress fitted perfectly. It showed off her curves in all the right places.

''You look great.'' Stacy giggled as she stood still next to her best friend. ''Sean is going to love it.''

JJ turned around to face her friend. ''Are you sure about this party, Stacy?'' she asked kindly.

Stacy shook her head in response. ''I don't know. Ryan will probably be there, but I won't show him my pain. He doesn't deserve it.''

''You're right. He doesn't but it's okay if you don't feel like going.'' JJ assured, hoping her friend was really doing fine. Stacy was the exact opposite of JJ. But they became friends quickly after JJ moved in with her aunt and uncle. The adjustment to a new school went easier than she ever could've imagined. Stacy and Sean both had a lot to do with that. ''I don't mind.'' JJ repeated once more.

''I'm fine.'' Stacy said. ''And I don't want to ruin your night with Sean.''

''We have the entire summer to spent together and I was planning on spending a lot of time with my best friend as well.'' she hinted.

Stacy jumped from the bed in excitement. ''I think you should wear these black heels.'' she suggested, handing JJ the pair of high heels.

''Are you sure?''

''Of course.'' Stacy said. ''I am going to wear my dark blue ones.''

''I love your dress, Stacy.'' JJ complimented. Her friend looked amazing as always. JJ sometimes wondered how someone could be as beautiful as Stacy. She had long brown curly hair and hazel eyes.

''You look even better.'' Stacy replied, knowing her friend was insecure about herself. Everyone in school knew that JJ was the most beautiful girl there, but she just didn't know it herself. But it made her likeable. She wasn't one of the mean girls in their school. ''Don't even start!'' she warned when JJ was about to say something.

''I won't.'' JJ promised. She wanted to change the subject. ''Did you know that Sean has a brother?''

''Yeah, I've heard it around but I wasn't for sure. Why?''

''Sean's brother is back in town.''

''Really? Did you meet him?'' Stacy asked curiously. She had heard rumors about Sean's brother. He was a popular guy in high school.

JJ nodded her head as she walked back to the bed. She sat down on the edge. ''Yes, I met him.''

Stacy's face lighten up instantly. She wanted to hear everything. ''What's he like?''

''I honestly don't know. I barely spoke with him.'' JJ answered. ''But there was a lot of tension between Sean and his brother. I didn't want to interfere so I left.''

''I heard he got kicked out of the house or something. He was trouble.''

''He probably still is.'' JJ said, knowing Sean had a reason to act so cold around his own brother.

''Bad boys are fun.'' Stacy sighed. The look on JJ's face made her laugh. She looked like a mother who was going to discipline her child. ''Oh come on! Don't tell me you don't like bad boys.''

''I actually never liked one before, but that's because I've never known one.'' she admitted. ''Luckily Sean is one of the good ones.''

''Yes, he is.'' Stacy agreed. She checked the time on her phone and she noticed that they were late. ''We should go!''

''Okay.'' JJ said before she followed her friend out of the bedroom. She hoped the party wasn't going to get out of control. But she had a bad feeling about it.

* * *

JJ and Stacy arrived at Sean's house about twenty minutes later. The street was filled with cars, which meant the party was going to be big. But it was a great way to celebrate the beginning of summer. As much as JJ hated this time of the year, there was a part of her that felt good about it. She didn't want it to turn into the worst time of her life. She had lost too much to live in grief. Well, that's what she told herself. She still cried herself to sleep every night. The loss of her parents and sister caused a void in her life and she knew it could never be filled. But she had to learn to live with it.

JJ closed the door to the car and made her way to the front door. She didn't even had to ring the bell because the door was already opened. JJ and Stacy stepped inside with smiles on their faces. Inside people were dancing and talking. It seemed like a success.

''I see some hot boys waiting for me.'' Stacy announced in a giggle.

''I knew this would happen.'' JJ said when Stacy started to walk away from her. ''You're so bad!''

''I know. But I am not the party killer!''

''Sorry.'' JJ apologized. She made her way to the kitchen after Stacy disappeared into the crowd. JJ expected that her friend was going to move on quickly, but it would be her regret in the morning after she drank too much. But there was also no way JJ was going to stop Stacy from doing what she wanted to do.

''JJ!'' Sean called out when he saw JJ standing in the kitchen. He walked to her and kissed her deeply before he pulled away. ''You look amazing.''

''Thank you.''

''You're welcome.'' he said, trying to speak above the music. ''Do you want something to drink?''

''Yes, but I am going to put my purse in your room before we get this party started.'' JJ explained.

''I'll wait here.'' Sean said happily.

JJ turned around on her heels and pushed through the crowd to get to the staircase. She knew Sean's room would be locked. She didn't want her stuff to get stolen. She turned to the right and opened the door to his room. She put her purse on the bed. She picked up a picture frame from the nightstand. It had a picture of Sean and his parents in it. She couldn't help but feel sad. Her hand immediately went to the necklace she wore every single day since the accident. Her parents and sister gave it to her that same day. It was her birthday gift. JJ finally put the picture down and sat down on the bed to pull herself together. It was one of those moments she felt alone and scared without her family.

Hotch walked through the hallway when he noticed that the lights were on in Sean's room. He silently walked to the room and peaked around the door. He immediately recognized JJ. He wasn't planning on scaring her, but his foot on the threshold caused a creak and she immediately turned around with a sadness on her face.

''Sorry!'' he apologized immediately. ''I didn't mean to scare you.''

JJ looked at Hotch and she laughed softly, hoping he didn't notice her watery eyes. ''It's fine.''

''Shouldn't you be downstairs with Sean?''

''I just wanted to put my purse here.'' she answered as she really looked at him for the first time. He wore dark blue jeans with a black t-shirt which showed off his muscular body underneath. He had raven black hair and smoldering brown eyes. It were the kind of eyes you could get lost in. ''Are you staying here?'' JJ asked curiously.

''Yes.''

''Do your parents know you're here?'' JJ added.

Hotch took a step forward and stopped in front of the bed where JJ was sitting. He froze in that spot. ''You ask a lot of questions.''

''I do!'' she agreed. ''You're just a complete mystery to me.''

Hotch felt his heart racing a little faster. He never felt that before and he had no idea where it was coming from. ''I am not the only mystery, am I?'' he smirked.

''What do you mean?''

''You're a mystery to me, Jennifer.'' he explained hoarsely.

JJ was about to talk when she saw Sean appearing in the room. He looked upset when he saw that JJ was talking to Hotch. He turned around before JJ could even say anything to him. ''I should go.'' JJ stated.

''Let him go.'' Hotch said. ''He's way too sensitive.''

''I am going.'' JJ repeated as she rose from the bed. She walked past Hotch but turned around on her way out. ''I'll figure you out before you'll figure me out.'' she said boldly.

''It's a bet.'' Hotch said before she left the room. He barely knew her, but she already made an impression on him. He decided to write it off as her beauty.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's another chapter of this story. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum and CM Fan!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 3: Reality check**

JJ had been searching for Sean for over ten minutes and she couldn't find him anywhere. JJ looked everywhere but he just disappeared. Hoping his friends knew where he was, she decided to ask them.

She approached Sean's best friend, Alex. ''Alex, do you know where Sean is?''

''I think he went outside.'' he replied. ''But I'm not sure.''

''Thanks.'' JJ said. She made her way out the front door and walked through the grass. She suddenly saw Sean sitting with his back against a tree. She knew he had seen her. She made her way towards him and sat down next to him.

''Are you okay?''

''Why were you talking to him, JJ?'' Sean asked angrily.

JJ looked at him with astonishment. ''I didn't know I wasn't allowed to talk to your brother.'' she began. ''Why do you hate him so much? What did he do to you?''

''He's a bastard, JJ. I just don't want to talk about this.'' he said angrily as he rose from the ground.

JJ stood up as well and pulled Sean back by the wrist. ''You can talk to me, Sean. I love you and I don't want you to hide anything from me.''

''I know.'' he said softly. ''Aaron always got into trouble when he still lived with us. He drank and he had a different girl every night. My parents tried to talk some sense into him, but he never got the message. And then one day it all got out of hand.''

''What happened?''

''About four years ago, he beat up our dad and put him in the hospital. My father told the doctors he fell down the stairs.'' he answered. ''He almost died, JJ.''

''I'm so sorry.'' she apologized. ''I didn't know.''

''It's fine.'' Sean said immediately to calm her down. ''I just don't want him near you. I know he has some kind of interest in you already.''

''I'll stay away from him.'' she promised, knowing it would give Sean a sense of relief. ''I promise.''

''I don't want to tell you what to do, but I want you to be safe.'' he whispered. He pulled JJ against him. He wrapped his arms around her and softly kissed her neck. ''I'm so happy you came into my life.'' he whispered.

As JJ stayed in his embrace she felt safe and comfortable. Sean was everything she always imagined a boyfriend to be. She knew her parents would've loved him. But they were never going to meet. That thought made her feel bad but she didn't want to think about it. Tonight she was spending time with the boy she loved and she wasn't going to let anything take that away from her.

''We should go back inside.'' JJ whispered.

''Yeah. Let's go.'' he said, taking her hand in his as they made their way back inside the house where people were dancing and having fun.

* * *

JJ was exhausted after hours of dancing, drinking and talking. She wanted to go back home to get the sleep she needed. But she hadn't seen Stacy all night and she needed to find her before she left.

''I'm going to find Stacy and then I'll go home.'' she said to Sean.

''Sure.'' he agreed. He leaned forward and kissed her before she left.

JJ gave him one last look before she left him. A lot of people already left and she knew it would be easier to find Stacy than earlier. She knew she wasn't downstairs so JJ made her up way up the stairs. She decided to check the bedrooms in case she was making out with some guy. JJ knew her friend well enough to know that change was pretty big. JJ had searched the bathrooms and master bedroom. She knew Stacy could only be in the guest room. JJ made her way to the room and opened the door in one quick motion. She didn't expect to see what she saw there.

''Stacy?'' JJ asked loudly, seeing her friend making out with the one and only Aaron Hotchner. But that wasn't all. The guy was very shirtless and his muscles were very impressive. ''What the hell are you doing?''

''Jennifer?'' Hotch asked with a smirk as he pushed Stacy of his lap. He climbed from the bed and made his way to JJ. ''Do you know this girl?''

JJ hurried to Stacy's side. She looked very drunk. ''She's my friend.'' she answered. ''It's really big of you to take advantage of a drunk girl.'' JJ snapped.

''She came on to me.'' he said defensively. ''Why are you suddenly so scared of me?'' he asked, noticing JJ's erratic behavior.

''Just leave us alone.'' she warned as she helped Stacy move towards the door. She had to support her or else she would fall down.

''Sean told you?'' he asked. He already knew the answer before JJ could say anything. It was all over her face. ''There are two sides to a story.''

''I don't want to hear it.'' JJ said angrily. ''Why don't you just leave?''

''Because I came back for a reason, Jennifer.'' he answered.

JJ gazed at him with anger and it only became worse when she saw the joy in his expression. ''You're a bastard.'' she said before she passed him by. At first she thought Sean might have exaggerated but everything he said was true. Hotch didn't seem like a good guy. JJ helped Stacy down the stairs. She saw most people had already left. As she made her way out the door, she realized her purse was still upstairs. She put Stacy back on the couch and quickly made her way back to Sean's room, hoping she wouldn't run into Hotch. The last thing she wanted was to talk to him.

But she wasn't so lucky. When she turned around he was standing in the middle of the doorway, blocking her. ''What did Sean tell you?'' Hotch asked.

''I'm not going to get between the two of you.'' she replied. ''Could you move please?'' she asked politely but he didn't even budge.

''What did he tell you?'' Hotch repeated.

''It's none of my business.'' JJ began. ''Look Aaron, I don't care about what's going on between the two of you. I'm not going to get stuck in the middle.'' she went on. ''I barely know you and Sean is my boyfriend and he asked me to stay away from you. Which is what I am trying to do but you're making it very hard for me right now.''

Hotch knew Sean probably said something to JJ that scared her off. ''I didn't expect you to be the type of person that takes orders.''

''Are you going to let me go?'' JJ asked again. ''I don't want to play this game.''

JJ suddenly saw Sean appearing behind Hotch and she knew this was going to turn into a fight. ''Sean!'' JJ said. ''Aaron and I were just talking for a second.'' she said carefully, hoping Hotch would step aside and not make a big deal out of the situation.

''She really is a lovely girl, Sean. You're lucky.'' Hotch said, stepping aside so JJ could pass him by.

''I'll walk you and Stacy to the car.'' Sean said, ignoring his brother as he followed JJ down the hallway. He didn't say anything to JJ as they helped Stacy to the car. But their silence was filled with tension and Sean knew JJ was on edge.

He closed the door behind Stacy and made his way over to JJ. ''Are you okay?''

JJ nodded. ''What is his problem?''

''I don't know, but I'm going to find out.'' Sean promised, trying to comfort JJ. ''I'll call you tomorrow.''

''Yeah.''

''Drive safe.'' Sean said as he leaned forward to give her a kiss. He pulled away after he gave her a peck on the lips. He opened the door for her and closed it behind her. He waited to go inside until JJ was gone.

* * *

Sean returned to the house and immediately saw Hotch sitting in the living room. He was drinking scotch and he had the biggest smirk on his face. Sean felt the anger boiling inside of him but he didn't want a confrontation. To him, his brother didn't exist. He had done too much to forgive.

''Say it!'' Hotch said confidently. ''Oh come on, Sean! Just say it!'' he repeated.

Sean finally turned around to face him. He shrugged his shoulders. ''What do you want me to say?''

''We both know how you feel about me.''

Sean shook his head in disagreement. ''I don't think you can hate someone as much as I hate you right now.''

''You know that doesn't really bother me, right?''

''Of course.'' Sean said. ''I still think you should leave. Especially before mom and dad get home.

''I don't think so. They're the reason I am back.''

''What the hell do you want?'' Sean yelled angrily. ''Do you want to ruin our lives again? Do you want to try and kill dad again?''

Hotch rose from the couch and passed Sean by. He wasn't going to justify his actions to his little brother. He had his own reasons for coming back and he wasn't about to tell them. Everyone was going to find out sooner or later. But now wasn't the time. He wasn't going to make it easier on the people he hated so much. ''Sleep well.'' Hotch said in a laugh, hiding his pain. He wore a mask every single day. He had become a different person.


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: Here's another chapter. I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, Twilightangell and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Confrontation**

_**One week later…**_

In the week that passed by the tension between Sean and Hotch was still there. Sean tried to avoid his older brother as much as possible. JJ was one of his escapes when it got to be too much. She was able to take away his anger. Although Hotch was still in his life, he didn't talk to JJ about it. Whenever she asked him something, Sean ignored her or got mad. He didn't want to even think about it. But when he was home there was no way he could avoid it. And Hotch didn't make that any easier. He didn't give Sean a moment of piece. But today Sean knew it would be over. His parents were coming back home and Hotch was going to leave. His life would go back to normal and everyone was going to be safe.

Sean jumped from the couch when he heard the front door open. He saw both of his parents stepping inside the house and he immediately helped them with their bags and suitcases. ''Hey!'' he greeted happily.

''Hi, Sean!'' Daniel Hotchner greeted as he gave his son a pat on the back.

''It's good be home.'' Amy Hotchner said happily as she hugged her son tightly. She looked over his shoulder and suddenly saw a face she hadn't seen in four years. She let go of Sean and walked towards the stairs where her oldest son was sitting. The tears threatened to fall down her face. ''Aaron?'' she cried out.

Hotch looked into the eyes of his crying mother. He stood up and stepped in front of his mother. She had aged rapidly in the four years he hadn't seen her. But he knew she had every reason for it. ''Hello.'' he said. It was all he could muster. The woman in front of betrayed him along with his father.

Daniel looked at Hotch with suspicion. He never expected to see him again. He didn't want to see him again. ''Don't Amy!'' Daniel said when his wife was about to hug their oldest son.

Amy immediately took a step back when she heard her husband's voice. But it didn't stop her from looking at Hotch. He had grown up so fast. He was no longer a teenage boy. He looked like a real adult. And it that moment she felt like breaking down because she had missed so much of his life and the look in his eyes tore her heart apart. His eyes seemed cold and distant. He was a totally different person.

''Can we talk in private, Aaron?'' Daniel asked his son. ''Just for a moment.'' he hinted.

''Of course.'' Hotch agreed. ''Do you want to talk in the study?'' he suggested.

''That sounds fine.''

Hotch made his way to the study as his father followed him through the big house. Hotch grew up with money. The house was big and his parents gave him everything he wanted, but there was a point when it became too much. Hotch had his breaking point about four years ago. He opened the door to the study and waited for his father to close the door behind him.

Daniel closed the door and violently pushed his son against it. ''What are you doing here?''

Hotch pushed his father away with all the strength he had in him. ''I think you know exactly why I am here!''

''I want you to get out of my house or else…'' he threatened, but Hotch interrupted him.

''Or else what?'' Hotch asked with a smile. ''There's not much you can do!''

Daniel knew he was right. ''Fine.''

''Thank you, Daniel!'' Hotch said before leaving the study. He made his way back to the hallway and saw that his mother and Sean were in deep conversation. He wanted to go upstairs but he was stopped when his mother called out his name. He turned around. ''What?''

''How have you been, Aaron?'' she asked emotionally. ''I was hoping we could make a fresh start.''

''It's a little too late for that.'' he snapped.

Amy took a step forward to her son but he immediately took a step backwards. ''I'm sorry, Aaron.''

''I wish I could believe you. But I just don't.'' he said coldly as he walked passed her without even looking at her. He wanted to tell her what he really thought about his family. He wanted everyone to know but in that moment he knew it wasn't the right time. His family wasn't the only reason he came back. He had more important things in his life. For now he wanted to focus on his other priorities.

Sean stepped in front of his mother after Hotch was gone. ''Are you alright, mom?'' he asked carefully.

Amy fought hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. ''Yeah.'' she answered. ''It's just really hard to see him again.''

''I know.'' Sean agreed. ''He hasn't changed. Not even a bit. I just don't understand why he has to be this way.''

The pain in his voice made Amy ache. ''He has always been trouble, Sean. I don't think that'll ever change.''

In that moment Sean wished, he could just figure out his brother. He wanted to know why he was acting so cold and selfish. ''JJ is going to be here any minute.'' Sean stated. ''But I want to hear everything about Hawaii.'' he said happily.

''Let's sit down in the living room then.'' Amy suggest as she already started to make her way to the living room. She sat down on the couch while Sean took a seat across from her. ''Are you and JJ still dating?'' Amy asked, hoping Sean was going to say no. But she already knew the answer from his earlier announcement.

''I love her mom.'' Sean said firmly, knowing his mother never really liked JJ in the first place. ''I don't understand your problems with JJ.''

''She's beautiful, Sean but that's not the only thing a girl should have to offer you.'' Amy started. ''You deserve someone who's smart and has a real future.''

Sean was sick of having this conversation with his mother. He loved her but there was no way he would let her talk badly about JJ. ''JJ has a future. She'll probably get a scholarship because of her soccer.'' he began. ''Some people don't have the money to go to college.''

Amy realized her son was upset. She didn't mean to change his mood, but she was just looking out for him. ''I just don't think she's right for you.''

''Mom, we had this conversation a dozen of times.'' Sean said, trying to stay calm. ''I'm not going to break up with her because you feel like she isn't good enough for me.''

''I know you can do better, Sean. I am just looking out for you.''

''You don't need to protect me!'' he said angrily. ''I can make my own choices.''

''Apparently you can't because you're still with her.'' Amy contradicted. ''She's a brat, Sean.''

''What?'' he yelled out. ''Don't say that again.''

''I didn't mean to upset you.''

''Well, you just did.'' Sean said, rising from the chair in anger and stopped before he left. ''I'll go to JJ. I don't know when I'll be back.'' he announced before storming out of the house.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Here's another chapter and the mysteries will keep coming. But don't worry, everything will be revealed by the end of the story. I hope you all like it.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum, ThePenIsMighty and CM Fan!

And a big thanks to CriminalCrazy!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Trust **

_**One week later…**_

The sunlight through the curtains caused JJ to stir in the bed. She opened her eyes for a moment and realized what day it was. The grief and loss came rushing back and tears were already escaping her eyes. She expected that this day was going to be hard. Luckily, she was going to spent most of the day with Sean. He was her distraction.

JJ threw the blankets off of her and climbed from the bed. She walked into the adjoined bathroom. She was about take off her clothes when she heard the door to the bedroom open. So made her way back and saw her aunt and uncle standing in her room with birthday hats. JJ couldn't help but laugh. They looked absolutely ridiculous.

''Congratulations, JJ!'' Sara exclaimed as she pulled JJ into her arms. ''You're seventeen!''

''Thanks.'' JJ whispered softly.

'''Happy birthday, Jen.'' Tom said to his niece as he also pulled her into a hug. He knew this day couldn't be easy for JJ. It wasn't easy for any of them. ''We made breakfast.''

''Breakfast sounds good.'' JJ said as happy as she could. The memories of family traditions came flooding back to her. Her parents used to wake her up every midnight on her birthdays. Sometimes they would just come in to tell her they loved her and other times they would already give a present. It was a weird tradition, but it was something that belonged in her family. ''I'll put on some fresh clothes.'' she announced when Tom and Sara were leaving her room.

''Take all the time you need.'' Tom assured as he took his wife's hand.

Together, they walked back downstairs and sat down at the table. At first there was a long silence until Sara broke it.

''I can't even imagine how hard this must be for her, Tom.'' Sara began. ''I know we promised to keep this day happy for her but I don't want to wash away the memories of Nicole and her parents.''

Tom took Sara's hand in his and squeezed it softly. ''I understand where you're coming from but don't you think it's a little too early to be talking about what happened.''

''But she deserves to know, Tom.'' Sara began. ''This isn't something we should get to keep from her.''

JJ overheard the last few seconds of their conversation as she turned around the corner and into the kitchen. ''What's going on?''

Sara let go of Tom's hand and rose from chair and stepped towards JJ. ''You should sit down, JJ.''

''No.'' she said. ''What were you talking about?''

Sara sat back down in her chair and was about to speak when Tom beat her to it. ''You don't know everything about the car accident.'' he tried to explain, but JJ caught him off.

''What do you mean?''

He took a deep breath before talking. ''I told you that the crash was just an accident, but when the police arrived on the scene there were no other cars in the area.''

''It was a hit and run?'' she cried out as the images flashed before her eyes.

''Yes.'' Sara answered.

''Were there any witnesses?''

''I don't know.'' Tom answered.

The tears were streaming down JJ's face as her body was shaking from the shock. ''How could you not know? You're a detective.''

''There were no witnesses, JJ.'' Tom replied calmly. He could feel her hurt in the way she spoke. But it was also all over face.

''But I heard screams when I was trapped in the car.'' she said, her voice trembling. ''Those weren't other people?'' she cried out. ''Oh my god. The screams came from inside the car.'' she said as the realization hit her. She was never able to place the screams. When she was in the car they sounded so far away. She heard her own parents scream out in pain. It were the screams that still haunted her every single night and now she knew to who they belonged.

''I'm so sorry, JJ.'' Sara mustered.

JJ shook her head. She didn't understand anything. ''How did I get out of the car?''

''No one knows. When the police and ambulances arrived, you were found a few feet away from the car.'' Tom answered, knowing this would only enhance JJ's questions. He was a detective and he even thought it was a miracle.

''I think I'll skip breakfast.'' JJ stumbled as she was about to turn around.

''JJ! Wait!'' Sara begged. ''I'm sorry.''

''About what?'' she asked angrily as the tears streamed down her face. ''Not telling me?'' she asked. ''Or for the loss of everyone I ever loved?''

''We wanted to tell you.'' Tom said to help Sara out.

''But you didn't.'' she cried out. ''After everything that happened, I thought the two of you would be honest with me. I thought I could trust you but now I realize what a mistake that was.''

''JJ!'' Tom called out when she was walking away. ''Just let us explain. Hear Sara out.''

JJ turned around to face them when she could feel his pain. She didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. There wasn't much to say about the situation. Her life couldn't get more messed-up.

''Eva and Victor were your parents, JJ. We're not trying to replace them.'' Sara began. ''No matter what happens, they will always be your mom and dad. Nothing will ever change that.''

''I know.'' JJ whispered.

''But you have to understand that we will do anything to protect you. You're the only family we have left.'' she went on. ''I promised your mother I would take care of you and Nicole if anything ever happened to your parents.'' she added. ''You're the only one who's left. And I will do anything for you.''

Sara inhaled deeply before she continued. ''I lost my sister, JJ. And I know I'll never understand your grief because you lost your parents and sister, but we're all in pain.''

''You don't have to trust us or believe in us. We just want you to be safe.'' Tom explained as he stood behind his wife.

Everyone was in tears at that point. JJ didn't know what to do. It was an uncomfortable situation. She had never been close with her aunt or uncle. She only saw them on birthdays and when she did she was excited to see them but it wasn't much more than just one day a year.

''Come here.'' Sara whispered, waiting for JJ to come into her embrace. When JJ flew into her arms, she held her tightly. She heard her niece sobbing in her hold and it only worsened her own tears. ''It's going to be okay, JJ.''

JJ pulled away and took a step back. ''I just miss them so much.''

''I know, honey.''

''I think I need some time right now.'' JJ stated. ''I'll take a shower and then I'll go to Sean.''

''Are you sure?'' Tom asked with defeat.

''It's what I need.''

Sara nodded when JJ looked at her for a moment. ''Just let us know when you'll come home.''

''I will.'' JJ said before she left the room.

Sara turned to Tom and shrugged her shoulders. ''Do you think she'll ever get past this?''

''I don't know.'' he said honestly. ''I think it will take a lot of time.'' he said, anticipating that there was a long road ahead of them. Especially for JJ. The loss of her family wasn't something that would cease to exist over night. It was probably going to be a struggle throughout her entire life.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone enjoys it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80 and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Compassion**

JJ had been spending the rest of the day at the Hotchner residence. She stayed in Sean's room the entire day. She didn't feel like being social. Sean had been by her side the entire day while they just hang out in his room. The day consisted out of sleeping, talking, watching TV and playing games. JJ made it clear to him that she didn't want to throw a party on her birthday. Sean didn't know her reasoning behind it, but she was glad he listened to her. A part of her was able to be happy while the other part felt guilty and angry. There were so many emotions in her. But confusion was the one thing that took her over. Most of the time she wished she could be honest, but she didn't want to be known as the sad girl. She didn't want pity from anyone.

''Have you thought about college?'' Sean asked out of the blue. JJ was crawled against his side on the bed.

JJ turned on her side and looked him in the eye. ''No, not really. You?''

''Yeah, I have.'' he replied. ''Don't you think it's important to think about these kinds of things.''

''I just don't want to look too far into the future, Sean.'' JJ tried to explain but the expression on his face shocked her. He looked surprised by her answer. ''You never know what can happen. Your life can be over in a second. I just don't want to think about it too much.''

''Yes, life can be over in a second but don't you think it's important to make the best of it while you can.'' he began. ''Get a good education and a reasonable job.''

''What are you trying to say?'' JJ asked, sitting up. She put her cardigan back on over her dress before she turned to Sean.

Sean was sitting with his back against the headboard. ''Maybe you should consider to begin your search for a good school.'' he suggested. ''We can find a place close to Harvard or maybe you can get a scholarship to get into Harvard.''

The words weren't reaching JJ's mind completely. It was like he had everything planned out. Everything was suddenly going way too fast for her liking. ''Harvard?'' she snapped. ''Where is this coming from?''

''I thought we had a future together.'' Sean answered simply. He didn't understand JJ's sudden outburst.

''Maybe!'' she replied. ''Sean, we've been dating for six months. You can't just make plans without talking to me. You've never asked me what I want.''

''Well, that's what you do when you love someone.'' he started. ''Right?''

''How am I supposed to know?'' she exclaimed. ''I just turned seventeen. I don't how these things work.'' she explained. ''All I know is that I love you and I want to be with you but I can't think about the future.''

Sean saw that JJ was ready to leave and he blocked the door to stop her from running out on him. ''Do you want to break up when we graduate from high school? Is that it?''

''No!''

''Then what is your problem, JJ?'' Sean asked desperately. ''What more can I give you? Am I not enough for you?''

''I never said that.'' JJ shot back when Sean started to turn angry.

''Well, it sure as hell looks like it.''

JJ looked at him with astonishment. She had never seen him like this before. They had never gotten into a fight before and this one was serious from the start. ''I thought you knew me better.'' JJ said with disappointment. She grabbed her bag and leaned down to put on her ankle boots. She wasn't going to stand by while he insulted her. ''I'll talk to you later!''

''Where are you going?''

''Away from you!'' she yelled. ''I can't even look at you right now.''

Hotch overheard the fight from his room and he was standing in the hallway when saw JJ storming off. The worry immediately took over and he followed her down the stairs. He tried to catch up with her, but she drove away before he ever got the chance. In a second he grabbed his keys and took off in his own car. It was dark and he had no idea if he could find JJ, but he felt like he was responsible. She didn't look to great after she stormed out and he wanted to make sure she was alright. It was the least he could do for her. He followed her through the city until she stopped at the parking lot of the a cemetery. He had never been to a cemetery in his entire life. But it didn't scare him. He stepped from his car and made his way into the cemetery to find JJ.

* * *

JJ dropped to the ground in front of the gravestones. Tears kept going as the night sky was clear above her. She didn't a hear a sound. There was total silence. She hadn't been to the graveside since the funeral. Every time she tried, she just broke down. It reminded her of all the awfulness in her life. But now it felt like the right place to be. No one in her life understood her. And the only people who did where all gone. This was the closest she would ever be to them.

Hotch noticed JJ kneeled down in front of a headstone. Her body was trembling as she cried into her hands. He felt his heart break at the sight of her. He didn't want to scare her, so he announced himself. ''Do you always go to the cemetery after a fight?'' he asked. ''It's freaky, you know.''

JJ turned to the voice. She was surprised to see Hotch standing behind her. ''What are you doing here?'' she asked angrily. ''Did you follow me?''

Hotch took a step forward when he wanted to help JJ up, but she immediately held up her hand. ''I overheard your fight with Sean.'' he explained. ''I wanted to make sure you were okay.''

JJ was surprised by his sudden signs of compassion. It didn't seem like him at all. But it was definitely a good surprise. Though he was suddenly nice, JJ still wanted to maintain a distance from him. ''It's none of your business. You should go.'' she hinted but he didn't move an inch. She knew he was stubborn. He wouldn't go away without a real reason. In the little time she knew him, she knew that much about him.

''Just talk to me, JJ.'' he suggested kindly. He was standing next to her, hoping she would open up to him. As a silence fell, he realized that his feelings for her were already growing.

''You don't even know me!'' she said. ''Why would you want to talk to me?''

Hotch kneeled down on the ground next to her. He knew JJ had to be at the cemetery for a reason. ''Who did you lose?'' he asked emphatically while avoiding her question. ''You can trust me. I promise.''

JJ made eye contact and she knew he was being honest. She just didn't understand what he wanted from her. ''I can't trust you.''

''Why not?'' he asked. ''I'm just looking out for you.'' he added. ''What did my brother do?''

''Why are you so persistent?'' she said as a tear fell down her cheek.

''Because you deserve to be treated right.'' he answered. ''And because I want to unravel the mystery in front of me. And you look sad.'' he explained, remembering the bet he made with her. It was more a joke than a bet, but he still wasn't going to give up on knowing her.

''You're really good at avoiding my questions.'' she smiled.

''So are you.''

In that moment she felt like she could trust him. She saw so much more in Hotch than Sean described him to be. Sean kept insisting he was a bad and dangerous person, but as JJ looked into his brown eyes, she just couldn't believe it. ''Your brother planned out our entire lives together, but I can't live in the future. I know that's not the right way to live.''

''Why can't you live like that?'' he asked curiously.

JJ looked at the headstone in front of her. She pointed at the headstone and looked at the other two afterwards. ''I learned from experience.''

''What happened?''

JJ swallowed before she was going to answer his question. He was the first person she was going to tell and that felt huge to her. ''One year ago my family and I were in a car crash.'' she began. ''I was the only survivor. My parents and sister died that day.''

Hotch could feel JJ's pain. It was present in her voice. He wanted to hold her and comfort her. He just felt like it wasn't appropriate. ''I'm so sorry, Jennifer.'' he breathed out as he put a hand on her bare knee. The touch sent a spark through his body.

''JJ.'' she corrected as she leaned against his side for comfort. ''You can call me JJ.'' she repeated.

''One day you wake up and you will feel better.'' he promised, knowing new beginnings did exist. His began exactly one year ago. He wrapped an arm around JJ to pull her closer as he heard her sob.

''Thanks.'' she whispered. ''This is the first time I've been here since the funeral. I didn't have the courage to come here earlier.''

''Isn't today your birthday?'' Hotch asked carefully.

JJ pulled away from his grip and stared ahead of her. ''Yeah. It's also the day my parents and sister died.''

''We should get a drink.'' he announced boldly. He could see she needed some cheering up. The surprise on her face caused him to laugh slightly. ''Come on!'' he ordered as he rose from the ground.

''You really are a mystery.'' she teased as Hotch helped her up. ''I just need you to promise that…'' she began but he interrupted her.

''I won't tell Sean. Your secret is safe with me.'' he reassured. ''I can be a nice person, you know.''

JJ gazed into his eyes, seeing something different. His eyes radiated compassion and warmth. It was the first time she saw it him. And it immediately led her to wonder what Sean hated about him. ''I don't know if I can believe you. Sean seems to have his reasons for not trusting you.''

''And you believe Sean?''

''Of course I do, Aaron. He's my boyfriend and I love him.'' she answered firmly. ''I barely know you and you seem to be showing up everywhere I go. What am I supposed to think?''

''You shouldn't believe every word that comes out of Sean's mouth, JJ.'' he began sadly. ''I left when I was eighteen and Sean was thirteen. He has no idea what happened. He was too young to even know.''

''What did happen, Aaron?'' JJ asked kindly, hoping he would say something to her. She confided in him and she kind of expected the same courtesy from him.

''I can't tell you, JJ. I know you will run straight to Sean and tell him everything.'' he explained. ''And believe me, I would do the same if I was in your shoes. But I can't. At least not right now.''

''Of course.''

''Let's get that drink.'' he announced as he turned around to leave the cemetery. He realized JJ wasn't following him. ''What are you waiting for?''

''I'm seventeen, Aaron. I'm not allowed to drink. You might be allowed to drink, but I am not.''

''A buddy of mine works in a bar. He will let it slide. And you don't even look like you're seventeen.'' he said, hoping he convinced JJ to come with him. ''You deserve a night of fun. It's your birthday!'' he exclaimed.

JJ smiled while she evaluated his expression. ''You want to get me drunk and take advantage of me?'' she teased as they started to make their way to the car.

''Oh god, who do you think I am?'' he asked while he couldn't control his laugh. JJ tried to say it seriously but she failed immensely. ''I don't need a drink to get a girl to like me.''

''Why not?'' she questioned.

''Because every girl falls for my manly charms and my look.'' he replied.

''That's a joke, right? Because Stacy is such a good example. She was completely wasted when you were making out with her.''

''Stacy was drunk before I even met her.'' Hotch said, recalling the party. ''Let's make a bet!''

''Another one?'' she asked. ''I like a good bet. I always win by the way.''

''I bet I can make you fall in love with me before the end of summer.'' he said confidently while JJ started giggling. ''Next year!'' he added quickly, knowing JJ wasn't easy to win over.

''You're really full of yourself.'' she laughed. ''And I don't think so!''

''Are you scared that I am actually right?''

''No, of course not.'' she instantly shot back. ''I just admire your confidence.''

''You're really afraid.'' he noticed. ''Let's get that drink and we'll talk about it later.''

''Sure.''

''I'll drive you home and drop you off here tomorrow so you can take your car back home.''

''That would be great.'' she agreed. If Sean knew what she was doing, he would be pissed off. But JJ needed the distraction more than anything right now. And Sean was the last person she wanted to see in that moment.


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone still enjoys this story.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, red2013, CM Fan, jenny crum, Splash's Writing Zone (Thanks for the review and I wanted to answer your question. At first I wanted the rest of the team to be friends in high school, but then I realized it would be coincidental if they would all end up in the same FBI team, so l left them out for now. I am thinking about writing a sequel to this so that's another reason I left them out. I hope you still like it without them.) and bea!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 7: Drunken fun**

They arrived at the bar about twenty minutes later. Hotch was able to get JJ inside the bar. He didn't really care that she wasn't allowed to drink. He knew she would do even if it wasn't allowed. He had seen her drinking at the party and he wasn't going to do anything about it because he was older. He didn't want to act as a parent. Especially not around JJ. The drive to his favorite bar had been filled with a comfortable silence. Hotch watched JJ a couple of times as she was gazing out the window. He couldn't even imagine what this day would be like for her. Now he just wanted to help her forget.

Hotch grabbed JJ's hand once they stepped inside the bar and he pulled her towards the stools. He sat down and waited for JJ to join him. ''Have a seat.'' he said friendly.

JJ sat down on the stool next to him, realizing how awfully close they were sitting. Somehow she didn't feel the need to move. She knew this didn't mean more than a friendly outing to forget some painful memories. But as she tried to convince herself something inside knew it could be more. But it couldn't be. She loved Sean! She knew she loved Sean. He was good, honest, friendly and loving. She couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. ''Thanks.'' she mumbled hesitantly.

Hotch saw his friend appearing from the back. He immediately stood up and made his towards his friend. ''Adam! How have you been, man?''

''Aaron Hotchner?'' Adam exclaimed, realizing one of his oldest friend was standing in front of him. ''I'm doing great. And you?'' he asked, making his way back behind the bar as Hotch sat back down on the stool.

''It's great to see you.'' Hotch said happily.

''Yeah, it's been a long time. Where have you been?'' he asked curiously.

JJ decided to join the conversation. Not only out of curiosity but also because Adam was already asking the right questions. ''Yeah, Aaron! Where have you been?''

Hotch looked at JJ in surprise. Her voice was daring and seductive which she didn't even seem to realize at all. ''Adam this is JJ. JJ this is Adam.'' he introduced.

''It's nice to meet you, Adam.'' JJ said, shaking his hand. ''How do you know Aaron?''

''It's nice to meet you too.'' he said. ''Aaron and I were friends in high school. We lost touch after graduation.'' he answered. ''And how did you two meet?''

''Oh, we only met two weeks ago. I'm dating his brother, Sean.'' JJ answered honestly and she immediately noticed the change of expression on Hotch's face. He looked a bit hurt. Not that there was any reason for it.

''Can you give me two beers?'' Hotch asked, interrupting the conversation before it was continued.

''Sure.'' Adam replied as he walked to the other side of the bar.

JJ turned to Hotch but he looked away. ''What was that about?''

''What do you mean?''

''Oh come on, Aaron!'' JJ exclaimed with a smile on her face. He was caught and he didn't really like it. ''What's so wrong about me and Sean?''

Hotch shrugged his shoulders, hoping JJ would let it go. His answer was actually quite simple. He didn't like to hear about Sean because he was already jealous. JJ was different from any girl he had met before and he felt comfortable around her. ''Nothing. I just want what you two have.'' he lied. He saw the expression on her face change and the tension immediately disappeared.

''You'll find someone.''

''Maybe.'' he agreed in a whisper. Adam put down the beers in front of them. Hotch took a zip and let the cool drink slip down his throat. He put it down and turned to JJ again. ''I was thinking about asking Stacy out on a date.''

The surprise hit JJ so hard, she coughed up the beer she was drinking. She put it down with a loud thud and grabbed a napkin to wipe the beer off her face. ''Stacy?'' she asked as she cleaned herself up.

''Yeah, I like her.''

''You do?''

''Is something wrong?'' Hotch smirked, knowing he hit a nerve. If JJ was making him jealous he would return the favor if he could. Not only to make her jealous but to figure out what she felt. ''Can I have her number?'' he added.

''I'll ask her first.''

''Sure.''

The following minutes they were both quiet. The tension was growing but neither of them was willing to accept it for what it was. But if Hotch had the chance to decide he would tell JJ everything. He would open up and share his deepest secrets with her but it wasn't his position to do it. He didn't even know if they were friends yet. He couldn't tell what JJ thought. It was like she wore a mask the entire time. That was part of her mystery. She wasn't just like the typical high school girl. Sure, she was beautiful. Gorgeous even. But she had a story. She had experienced loss and that probably changed her. Hotch knew that even without the loss of her family that she would be different. JJ felt Hotch watching her while she just gazed ahead. The day had been far from what she expected it to be. She thought she would spent her entire day with Sean. Instead, she was hanging out with his brother. The brother her own boyfriend hated. And in that moment she didn't know what she was doing. She wasn't the person who lied but somehow she had been lying to Sean since she knew him. He didn't know about her parents. He thought she lived with her aunt and uncle to get away from her family. She felt the sadness taking over again. So she ordered another beer in the hopes she was going to forget this entire day.

''JJ, are you okay?'' Hotch asked, noticing that JJ was drinking the beers as if they were water.

''I'm just having a bad day.'' she admitted. ''I thought you were going to cheer me up.''

''I was.'' he replied. He looked around and noticed a small group of people dancing in the middle of the bar. He suddenly rose from the stool and grabbed JJ's wrist. ''Let's dance.''

''Oh, no!'' JJ said. ''I'm not a dancer.''

''You don't have to be.'' he contradicted.

Hotch dragged JJ to the floor. His arms sneaked around her waist and he pulled her flush against him. He felt her arms going around his neck as she put her head on his shoulder. He never thought that slow music was typical for a bar. But the moment seemed almost to perfect to analyze it. Especially when he felt JJ's breathing slowing down a bit. She seemed to be awfully comfortable and that made him smile.

''I can't believe I've only known you for two weeks. It seems like I've known you much longer.'' she whispered. Hotch felt like a friend to her. She couldn't see the bad in him that Sean described to her. Sure, she noticed his flirtatious comments but he also had a good side to him.

''Yeah.'' he agreed in a whisper.

She pulled away slightly and gave him a dreamy smile. She felt the warmth of his body melting into her own. She was too comfortable. This wasn't supposed to happen but why did it feel so good. She felt Hotch coming closer to her face. And then out of the blue he put a kiss on the corner of her mouth. JJ wanted to escape reality and go with the flow, but it wasn't right. She loved Sean. She really did and she didn't know what Hotch even meant to her. So she pushed him away and stormed out of the bar.


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all are still enjoying this story. And I want express my thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, follow or favorite this story! It means everything to me and I can't thank everyone enough.

Special thanks guest, jenny crum, Westie80, red2013, Sophia0665, TuiNui, Splash's Writing Zone and guest!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 8: The real me**

JJ ran out of the bar and turned around the corner into an alley. She leaned with her back against the wall while she dropped down to the floor. All the emotions came flooding back to the surface. She didn't know how to deal with her pain. For months she pretended like nothing bad happened. She got out of bed with the idea that she never had a real family and that illusion worked for so long until Hotch came along. She didn't know why he brought out those emotions. She never met anyone who did that to her. It was rare.

A shock went through her body when she heard his voice coming from down the street. He had every right to look for her. She wasn't innocent with what just happened. She should've never danced with him in the first place.

''JJ?'' Hotch called out as he approached the alley. He was worried sick about her. He was feeling guilty about trying to kiss her. He wished he could take it all back. ''JJ!''

JJ rose from the ground and quickly straightened her dress. She could still feel the tears stinging in her eyes. She felt like she was emotionally unstable. The drinking and the past together wasn't the best combination for the blonde. Everything was too much. ''I'm over here.'' she said loudly. She leaned with her back against the wall behind her as she waited for him to turn around the corner.

Hotch took a sprint when he heard her voice and he ran into an alley to find an emotional JJ leaning against a wall. He felt his body ache as another tear ran down her face. He knew she didn't deserve to be in so much pain. ''I am so sorry, JJ. I shouldn't have done that.'' he apologized as he approached her.

''We can't let that happen again. I like you, Aaron. I really do but we can't be more than friends because I love your brother.'' she explained. ''I can't hurt him like that.''

''I understand.'' he said softly. ''Maybe I should take you home.'' he suggested.

''I thought we had some drinks waiting for us and we have a couple of bets to discuss.'' she teased while passing him by. ''Come on.'' she called out when he didn't follow her. It was her birthday and she planned to have some fun. She didn't want it to be a day filled with grief. She was allowed to have a couple of hours of drinking and acting stupid. She knew Hotch was the right person to do that with.

Hotch ordered some shots once they were inside the bar. He couldn't believe how resilient JJ seemed to be. She had gone through hell and she was somehow able to keep on living. He knew from experience what impact family had on your life. But his family problems were so much different than JJ's troubles. She didn't have a family to feel annoyed by. She never got to see them again.

''Are you okay?'' he asked for reassurance. He needed to be sure she was feeling fine or else he would take her home. ''You can talk about it, you know.''

''I know.'' she whispered hoarsely. She had barely talked since they returned to their seats. ''I just don't know how.'' she admitted.

''You have to talk about it some time. You can't just forget about it, JJ.'' he said, hoping his words made sense. ''They were your family and the fact that you lost them will probably be with you for the rest of your life.''

''You're right. But I haven't talked about this for an entire year. It's hard for me. I'm not an easy person to get to know.'' she started. ''My entire life I've been guarded. I don't know why. It's who I am.''

Hotch nodded in agreement. ''A girl like you has every right to be guarded. Guys were probably all over you.''

JJ blushed in response. She knew what he meant. At least she thought she knew. She hoped she was right about her intuition. ''What does that mean?''

Hotch immediately responded. ''You know exactly what it means, JJ.'' he said, meeting her eyes and not looking away. He didn't mind telling her what he thought of her. ''You're beautiful, stunning, breathtaking and pretty damn hot. But I hope you know that.'' he added. ''My brother is pretty lucky to have a girl like you, but I don't think you're just the looks, JJ. You seem smart and real. That's not something you see very often.''

''Thank you.'' she whispered. ''That's sweet.''

''It's the truth.''

JJ took a deep breath to lose the tension but I didn't help much. It was like she was the only person on the earth when she was with him. Everything around her seemed to fade away and her worries disappeared. It was a feeling she never knew before but it excited her. It was different and deep down it was enthralling. ''We got off topic, didn't we?'' she asked while he nodded with a sweet smile on his face. ''I honestly want to know more about you, Aaron. I don't know anything about you while you know almost everything about me.''

''Oh, I don't believe that, JJ. I think there's so much more about you.'' he began. ''But what do you want to know?''

''Where have you been for the past four years?'' she asked curiously.

He took some time before talking. He did more with his time than anyone probably expected he did. He wasn't as bad a everyone made him out to be. ''After I left home, I went to LA and decided to attend UCLA. After two years the scene was tiring and I moved back here. I transferred to George Washington University to finish my bachelor degree in Criminology.'' he rambled on, not noticing that JJ looked at him in awe. ''I received my acceptance letter to Georgetown Law about three weeks ago. So I am going to Law School when the summer ends.''

''What?'' she asked in astonishment. ''You're not kidding.'' she exclaimed.

''What's wrong?''

''Do your parents know? Does Sean know?''

''No,'' he replied firmly. ''And I don't want them to know either because this is my life.''

JJ didn't understand his reasoning at all. ''Why not? What would be so wrong about them knowing? They would be so proud, Aaron.''

''You don't want Sean or Stacy to know about the death of your family.'' he started. ''Why should I tell my parents and Sean about this?''

''It's different, Aaron.''

Hotch shook his head instantly. ''No, it's not, JJ.''

''It could change everything, Aaron!'' JJ tried to say and she realized she was budding into his business but it was already too late.

''No!'' he replied. ''My entire family thinks I am a waste of space. They all hate me but they never took the time to really get to know me. They don't deserve to know about my life. It's not their right.'' he went on. ''I hope you understand that.'' he said, rising from the stool. He put down some bills to pay for the drinks and he walked out the bar. He hoped JJ would respect his wishes. Just like he did for her. He didn't want his parents to know about anything that was going on in his life. He wanted to keep it private as long as he could.


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it. Thanks for the amazing support!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum, CM Fan and red2013!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 9: Stubbornness**

JJ was still sitting at the bar when Hotch already left. She realized she touched a nerve. The entire evening seemed to be filled with drama. She didn't want that. She also didn't want to upset Hotch. He finally seemed to open up to her and she didn't want to ruin that.

JJ stepped from the stool and waved goodbye to Adam before she left the bar. She ran outside, looking for Hotch. She started walking towards the car where she found him sitting in the driver's seat. She opened the door and sat down next to him. He immediately started the car and drove off. ''I'm sorry, Aaron.'' she apologized.

Hotch didn't look her way. He kept his eyes on the road in front of him. He didn't drink too much, knowing he had to drive JJ home at some point. ''It's fine, JJ. I overreacted.''

''No, you didn't. You have a right to your own privacy and I don't want to interfere in your life.'' she said as she finally made eye contact with him. ''I won't do it again. I promise.''

''I believe you.'' he reassured. He saw the worry disappear from JJ's face and the tension in her body disappeared. ''I'll drive you home.''

''Sure.'' she agreed softly. ''Do you know where I live?''

''Don't you live near school? Sherwood High?'' he added, remembering a conversation he had with his brother. ''Sean told me.''

''Yeah, I live ten minutes away from school. It's pretty nice. I can walk whenever I feel like it.'' she started. ''Did you like high school?''

''High school was fun for me. I had it pretty easy. I played sports, got the grades and had a girlfriend.''

''What went so wrong that you had to leave?''

''My school life was perfect, JJ. But at home everything was different. It's a long story and I don't want to bore you with it now. I'll tell you some time.'' he promised.

''What happened to your girlfriend?'' JJ asked curiously. His life seemed interesting and she wanted to know as much as possible. As long as he answered she would ask.

Hotch laughed before answering. ''Haley?'' he questioned. ''When my parents kicked me out I broke up with her through text before I went to LA. I didn't see a future with her.''

''You're an ass. Who breaks up with a girl through a text?''

''Me, I guess.''

''Did you love her?''

''I thought I did. But looking back now I realize it was just all about the sex and not about having a girlfriend. Haley was the most popular girl in school and she was hot, so I dated her.'' he answered. ''I have never truly loved a girl. I think.''

''How many girlfriends have you had?''

''Too many to count.''

''That sounds really bad.'' JJ admitted boldly. Somehow all the information she learned didn't scare her away. ''What do you look for in a girl?''

''I don't know. I think I'll know when I meet her.'' he said as he looked at her intently. For a moment it was as if he was flying. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean and he got so lost in them. ''But Melissa, Lauren, Tori, Linda, Quinn and…and…I forget her name were all nice girls though.'' he said to break the built up tension.

''That many, huh?'' she asked.

''I never hurt anyone on purpose. I've always been honest about my lack of commitment in relationships. All of the girls knew that so there's no blame on me.'' he replied. ''Did you have a boyfriend before Sean? And what's your magic number?''

JJ laughed instantly when she heard the ridiculous questions coming from his mouth. ''Are you crazy?'' she asked as she giggled. ''I don't have a magic number, Aaron. Sean is my first boyfriend and I've never even slept with him.''

''Really?''

''Yeah.'' she answered. ''Is that so weird?''

''No, of course not. But I am thinking about calling you Mary now.'' he teased as he noticed the confusion on her face. She didn't understand. ''Virgin Mary!'' he exclaimed while keeping his eyes on the road.

''Oh god!'' JJ said loudly. ''Don't you dare call me that or else I will…'' she started but she didn't know how to finish that sentence.

''You're not that scary, Mary.'' he teased. He immediately received a slap from JJ on his shoulder.

''You don't want to mess with me.'' JJ warned happily. She looked outside the window and realized they were passing by her house. ''Stop! My house is here!'' she exclaimed as Hotch pushed on the brakes.

''Nice neighborhood.'' he said as he turned the truck around. He stopped in front of a modest suburban home. It looked really welcoming from the outside and it was a house he would much rather live in than his childhood home. ''Nice house.'' he added as he opened his door.

''It's not as big as your villa or anything but I actually love it.'' she began. She suddenly noticed that Hotch wasn't even sitting next to her. She turned to the door, realizing he already opened it for her. ''Thanks.''

''Come on, Mary.'' Hotch encouraged, noticing that JJ couldn't find her balance. She apparently drank too much.

''Apologize!'' she ordered, standing in front of him as she held up a finger. She watched as he took a step backwards. ''You're going to be sorry.''

Hotch decided to make a run for it but his plan failed after he only got a few feet away. JJ brought him to the ground with a firm push. She dropped to the ground and lay down next to him as their chests were heaving from all the excitement.

''How is it possible for a girl to run so fast?'' he asked.

''I've played soccer since I was six. And I am captain of the soccer team at school so I am supposed to run fast.'' she explained with a smile on her face.

''Ahh, that explains it.'' he said as he sat up and got up from the ground. He wiped the dirt from his blue jeans and helped JJ up from the ground. ''Do you want me to come inside with you?''

JJ wasn't surprised with his question. She was waiting for it come if she was honest and she hoped he would ask. ''Of course.'' she said as she made her way to the front door. It took some time before she finally found the keys in her purse. The alcohol was really affecting her and she heard Hotch laughing behind her. ''It's not funny.'' she whispered.

''Getting your keys shouldn't be such a hard task, JJ. So it's pretty funny to see how you handle it.''

''I never drink so this is new to me.'' she slurred as she couldn't get the keys in the lock. She handed the keys to Hotch who put an arm around her waist when she started to lose her balance again. ''Thanks.''

Hotch quickly opened the door and helped JJ inside. ''So, who do you live with?'' he asked softly, hoping they wouldn't wake up the residences in the cozy home.

JJ looked up at him while she was leaning into his side. ''I live with my aunt and uncle. I didn't tell you?''

''No, you didn't!'' he answered. ''Where's your room?''

''Up the stairs, second door on your left.'' she replied as they walked to the stairs. She didn't want to wake up her aunt and uncle, but getting up the stairs seemed to be a pretty tough task. She felt dizzy and hazy. It was like she never walked a staircase before. ''You should pick me up.'' JJ suggested in a whisper.

Hotch looked at her like she was crazy but he still listened to her. He lifter her in his arms and quietly made his way to her bedroom. He put her down once they were inside. He heard another door open somewhere in the house. ''Who's that?'' he whispered.

''Probably Sara.'' she shot back as she quickly grabbed a robe to cover up her dirty dress. ''Get behind the door.''

''What?''

''Do it!'' JJ said and at that exact moment there was a knock on her door. She slowly opened it to see Sara standing on the other side. ''Hey.'' she greeted happily.

''JJ, where have you been?'' Sara asked with worry.

JJ shrugged her shoulders as she tried to act normal which was very hard as she was on the verge of laughing. ''I was at Sean's. He just dropped me off.'' she lied.

''Oh, good. I just thought I heard voices.''

''I was talking to Sean on the phone.'' she replied, knowing Sara didn't believe her. ''It was on speaker.'' she added.

''Okay. Sleep well, JJ. We'll talk tomorrow.''

''Sure. Night, Sara.'' JJ said before closing the door. She leaned against it and let herself drop to the ground as the laughs finally escaped. She couldn't believe she got away with it. It was two in the morning and Sara didn't mention anything about staying out too late. It was like JJ had some freedom and she knew she had to enjoy that possibility. ''That was close.'' she breathed out while looking at her side but she saw that Hotch was already laying down on her bed.

''I didn't expect your room to look like this.'' he teased as he opened the drawer to her nightstand. ''A journal?''

JJ took the journal from his hands and put it back where it belonged. ''Don't make me sorry for asking you inside.'' she warned. She jumped on the bed and moved next to him. She felt sleepy and nothing seemed better than sleeping in that moment. She turned on her side and faced Hotch. ''This is pretty weird.''

''It doesn't have to be.''

''You're in my bed.'' she stated shyly. ''Why are you in my bed?''

He looked at her with a smile on his face. ''I don't know. Does it matter?''

''I am tired.'' she announced, expecting Hotch to go away but he didn't move an inch. ''I am going to sleep now.''

''Fine.''

JJ turned on her side, facing away from Hotch. She realized he was still next to her but she didn't care. The exhaustion from the emotional day finally claimed her consciousness. JJ tried to fight it off but she drifted off into a deep sleep.


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone likes the daily updates.

Special thanks to Westie80, Sophia0665, jenny crum and red2013!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 10: State of shock**

Sean had woken up early because he wanted to check on JJ. Their fight had been real but he didn't want it to come between them. He loved JJ and he wanted to move past their problems. He had ruined her birthday and that didn't feel right. So he decided to go to JJ's home early to apologize and take her out for the day. He had an entire day planned. He wanted to take her away from the city and be somewhere where it seemed like time wasn't racing.

He pulled up in front of the house and quickly made his way out of the car. He knocked on the front door, hoping someone was already awake. He didn't want to wake anyone up.

Sara opened the door. ''Sean, what are you doing here?'' she questioned with surprise in her voice.

''I want to take JJ out for the day.'' he explained as he stepped inside the house when Sara moved away to let him in.

''I think she's still asleep.''

''Do you mind if go upstairs?'' he asked carefully, hoping Sara would give them the day to spent together. ''I'll have her back by midnight.'' he reassured.

''Like last night?'' Sara questioned. ''Just get her home earlier than last night.''

Sean nodded in confusion. He didn't know what she was talking about but he didn't want to get into it. He had the permission to take JJ out and he wasn't going to spoil it. Instead he walked the stairs and turned to the left to go into JJ's room. He wanted to surprise her, so he decided to go inside without knocking. He quietly opened the door and peaked around it. But what he saw made him feel sick. Hotch was sitting against the headboard while he was asleep. JJ's head rested on his body as her arms were around his body. Not to mention that Hotch's arm was wrapped around her body as well.

Sean immediately retreated back and silently closed the door before storming downstairs. He didn't take time to say goodbye to Sara or Tom. He just ran out of the house and took off in his car.

* * *

JJ stirred in her bed when the ray of sunlight through the curtains woke her up. She felt a strong arm wrapped around her body. She looked up at the person it belonged to. She made eye contact with Hotch and she immediately flew to the other side of the bed in shock.

''Why are you in my bed?'' she asked hoarsely as she looked at the time.

A big smile appeared on his face. ''I stayed after you fell asleep and your body took me hostage so I didn't want to wake you up.'' he mocked. ''You're such a cutie when you sleep.''

''Ahh, shut up.'' she moaned. ''You should go, Aaron.''

''Where did the fun JJ go?'' he asked as he sat up in the bed. ''Let's go out. We can go on a road trip.''

''I wish I could but I need to talk to Sean. And I have the worst headache right now.''

Hotch shook his head. ''Sean can wait, JJ. We on the other hand can't wait.''

''Are you always this dramatic in the morning?'' she asked as she stepped from the bed, realizing she was still wearing the same clothes. ''I'll take a shower first and I'll think about it.''

''I'll be right here.''

Hotch waited on the bed as JJ took a shower. He stepped from the bed to look around in the room but a few minutes later the door to the room opened. He saw JJ's aunt with a panicked expression standing in front of him.

''Who are you?'' Sara questioned as she looked at the stranger before her. ''Where is JJ?''

''JJ is in the shower.'' he assured, seeing the worry on her face. ''And I am Aaron Hotchner.''

''Hotchner?'' Sara said. ''As in Sean Hotchner?''

''Yeah, Sean is my little brother.'' he replied.

''How little?''

''I am five years older.''

Sara was wondering why Sean's older brother was with JJ. Especially why he was in her room. But she couldn't deny that Hotch was a pretty damn hot guy. His grey t-shirt clung to his abs and the jeans gave him a dangerous look. ''What are you doing with JJ?''

''We're just hanging out.'' he answered. ''As friends.'' he quickly added.

''I want you to stay away from her. You already have a bad influence on her.'' she started. ''I bet you're the one who came home with her last night. JJ never stays out late.'' she went on. ''Just leave her alone!'' Sara ordered and she was about to leave when Hotch started talking.

''You don't know anything about me.''

''Yes, I do.'' Sara contradicted as she turned around. ''You're the type of guy who goes after the girls that are taken just because you enjoy the chase.'' she went on. ''But JJ has been through enough and she doesn't deserve anyone who's messing with her head.''

Hotch nodded in agreement. He truly cared about JJ and he wasn't planning on hurting her at all. ''I care about your niece.'' he explained, noticing the shocked expression on Sara's face. ''She told me about her parents and sister.''

''She did?''

''Yes, she did. Look,'' he started. ''JJ and I are just friends. I care about her and I would never do anything to hurt her. I couldn't!''

''I don't know if I can believe you.''

''Let me prove it to you. I promise I won't keep her out late again.''

''Okay,'' Sara agreed. ''You should know one thing about JJ though.'' she began. ''When JJ loves someone, she really loves that person. She doesn't just give her heart away to anyone because she's afraid to lose the people she loves.'' she explained. ''But if she loves you, she loves recklessly, fiercely and deeply. Sometimes it even blinds her, so don't you dare hurt her.''

''I won't.'' he said. He realized Sara just described every quality he had noticed about JJ.

''Good. Don't tell her we had this conversation.''

''I won't.'' he said.

Sara left the room and Hotch sat down on the edge of the bed. It was finally hitting him. He was falling for her already. He had never felt this way for anyone and it scared him. JJ was his brother's girl not the other way around. He couldn't hurt his brother but his heart told him to get all the time he could get with JJ. And in the end he listened to his heart.

He was pulled from his daydreaming when JJ stepped into the room in fresh clothes and with wet hair. She was wearing shorts with a black tank top and she had her hair up in a bun. She threw the towel on the bed and walked to her closet to pull out some sneakers. She quickly put them on and turned to Hotch. ''Is this good enough for a road trip?''

''So you actually want to go?'' he teased. ''I thought you didn't like me. Why would you go out with someone you don't like?''

JJ shook her head in annoyance. ''You're really going to keep going until I say it, aren't you?''

''Maybe.'' he answered, rising from the bed and stepping in front of JJ. He gently put his hands on her arm. ''I just want to hear that you like me a little.''

''It's never going to happen.'' she said happily. ''You want to bet?''

''Another bet, huh?'' he mocked. ''I think we're at three now and I won the first already.''

''I haven't fallen in love with you yet.''

''Yeah, but that one lasts till next year. I have an entire year to win that one.'' he smiled. ''And I won the first one. I figured out the mystery you were hiding.'' he reminded her.

''Damn! You're right.''

JJ grabbed one of her bags and put her wallet and keys into it. She was standing in front of him as she packed her bag. She turned around when she was ready but she couldn't move because Hotch was standing awfully close to her. He had his hands on the desk, trapping her between his arms.

Hotch leaned closer to JJ. ''Is it a bet?'' he whispered in her ear. He could feel JJ freeze. The thought that he had that affect on her excited him. He pulled away and let her stand in the same spot as before. ''Are you coming?'' he questioned as he walked out the door.

JJ followed him after she was able to refocus. She wondered how it was possible that someone could literally let the world fade away. It was the biggest mystery to her. And as she followed him outside thousands of questions were going through her head. Does he like me? Do I like him?


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: Here's another chapter. And I have to say that it's so much fun for me to write Hotch like this. He's so different that it is fun. I hope you all like this! I can't thank you guys enough for the amazing support.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, red2013, Bea, CM Fan and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 11: Temporary road trip**

JJ felt that her headache was subsiding. She had been in the car with Hotch for over four hours but it was fun. The wind was blowing through her hair, the music was beating and the weather was great. She was able to relax for the first time in months. She could finally admit that the road trip was a great idea. It got her mind away from all the problems in her life. She didn't want to think about her fight with Sean or the fact that she was enjoying time with his older brother. Mentioning Hotch in her thoughts caused her to look to her side. He was wearing sunglasses and his raven black hair was messy due to the wind but he still looked great. He suddenly looked at her and JJ couldn't help but blush.

''Are you checking me out?'' he noticed. ''It's okay, JJ. I know I look pretty good today.''

''I wasn't.'' she shot back defensively. ''I wasn't!'' she exclaimed when he grinned devilishly.

He started to laugh when she turned defensive. ''You can be honest with me. I won't tell Sean.'' he promised.

JJ decided to avoid the subject. ''Where are we going?''

''We're going to Sandbridge Beach.'' he answered, knowing JJ was going to ask why. ''It was my favorite place to go to growing up. I loved to go the beach with my family. It was always special to us.'' he explained sadly.

''When was the last time you went?''

Hotch went back through the years, remembering all the good and bad memories he had shared with his family. ''I was thirteen.'' he answered. ''So I thought it would be nice to go back there and make a new memory. A better one.'' he added, knowing he could do that with JJ by his side.

''I don't even have bikini, Aaron. How am I going to swim without swimwear?'' she asked. She saw the grin appear again and she realized he would come up with something scandalous. ''Don't even tell me!'' she warned.

Hotch sighed deeply, acting as if it was the hardest task to come up with something. ''Oh, we could skinny dip.''

''And then what?'' she asked. She knew there was an alternate meaning behind his thoughtful answer.

He once again sighed before talking, driving JJ crazy. She gave him a slap on the shoulder. ''We could end up making passionate love on the beach.''

''You really are crazy!'' she exclaimed.

''You're right. I am crazy.'' he agreed. ''I don't make love. I just have sex.''

JJ felt his mood change. She wondered why he never really liked a girl before. A guy like Hotch could get anyone he wanted to have. He was gorgeous and he just needed a little change in his attitude but the right girl could knock some sense into him. ''I still don't believe that you never loved a girl before.''

''I told you the truth the last time, JJ. I don't really do relationships. I am not the kind of guy who commits to a relationship.'' he said. ''You can't change that about me, JJ.''

''I know.''

''It doesn't seem like it.'' he began. ''I know you see the good in people, JJ. That's a great quality but don't try to look for it in me. I don't show it because I don't want to.''

''But you have it in you, Aaron. I've seen it aside from the flirty or nasty comments. I've seen it, Aaron.'' she started. ''Why don't you show it to people?''

''Because if people see the good in me they will expect it from me for the rest of my life. I just don't want anyone to expect anything from me. I only want to live up to my own expectations.''

''I get it. I do but…'' she tried to say but he stopped her.

''There's no but, JJ. I am not going to change. Take it or leave it.''

A sad smile appeared on her face. She saw a sensitive side to him and she realized she came close to the source of his problems. ''I'll take it because I actually like you, Aaron Hotchner.'' she said. She only realized afterwards what she said to him. ''Oh shit!'' she yelled out.

''What?'' he questioned curiously.

''Nothing.'' she responded with a grin on her face. ''You won another bet.''

''Oh, I did!'' he said happily. ''You suck at bets.''

''I do not!'' she replied. ''I am actually very good at them.''

''If it's going like this I will win the last one as well. I just don't think Sean would be too happy about that. Maybe you should just break up with him now to spare him all the extra heartache.'' he suggested. He saw that JJ was laughing in response. He didn't expect her to take it so lightly as she did. He was about to talk when a phone started ringing. He saw JJ taking her phone from her bag. She looked at it with sadness. ''Sean?''

She met his gaze and nodded. ''What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do?''

''Just let it go, JJ.'' he insisted. ''We'll be home tonight and you'll have all the time in the world to talk to him.''

JJ put down the phone and stared out the window, trying to forget her troubles with Sean. She didn't understand why it was bothering her so much. She usually was able to brush things off but their fight had become serious and that was the last thing she expected.

JJ suddenly noticed the sign with Sandbridge Beach on it and she realized they were already there. ''We're here.'' she said happily.

''Yes, we are.''

''I can buy a bikini in one of those stores.'' she pointed out as Hotch turned onto a parking lot. She could see the happiness on his face. ''You're glad to be back here, aren't you?''

''Yeah, I am.'' he said, confirming her question. He quickly parked the car and grabbed JJ's bag for her. He stepped from the car and hurried to her side to open the door for her.

''Thanks.'' JJ said as she took the bag from him and turned around to look at the surroundings. She looked out at the ocean and she suddenly realized it had been ages since she had last been at the beach. ''It's beautiful out here.''

''I know and the people are extremely nice as well.'' he started. ''We can grab some dinner before we leave. I know a great place to eat.'' he went on. ''But let's get you that bikini so you don't have to skinny dip.'' he teased as he followed her to the store.

JJ walked inside and quickly went through some bikini's. She was able to find the right size. ''I'll try this one on.'' she announced before disappearing into the fitting room. She quickly put it on and she was happy when everything fit perfectly.

''Does it fit?'' Hotch asked as she stopped in front of the fitting room.

''Yeah, it's fine.'' she replied. ''Could you pay for the bikini? I will pay you back. I just don't want to change again.''

''Sure,'' he said, taking the bikini from her as she peaked around the curtain. ''I'll give it back to you in a moment.'' he said before walking to the checkout counter. He held the black material in his hands and he couldn't believe that it could cover her body up. But he also started to wonder what JJ looked like in a bikini.

''Nice choice.'' the woman behind the counter said kindly. ''You have a very pretty girlfriend young man.'' she complimented.

''Thank you, Ma'am.''

''Don't let her go too quickly.''

''I won't.'' Hotch promised as he laughed on the inside.

''Enjoy!''

Hotch took the bikini and went back to JJ. He slipped the bikini back in the fitting room so she could put it back on. He waited for JJ to come back out.

JJ opened the curtain after she was wearing the bikini. She still wore her shorts and tank top over it. She wasn't going to strip until they were actually at the beach. ''What did you buy?'' she asked, noticing the bag in Hotch's hand.

''I bought us two towels. I thought they would come in handy. Don't you think?''

''I guess.''

Hotch took her hand and pulled her with him. He dragged her out of the store, never letting go of her hand. He kept walking straight ahead until they were closer to the beach. He finally let go of her and turned around to face her.

''What?'' she asked nervously.

''Promise me that you'll have some fun. At least try.''

''Who says I won't have fun?'' she asked as she felt a bit hurt by his accusation. ''I love it here, Aaron. It also has been ages since I was at the beach for the last time.''

''Great!'' he said before he decided to make a run for it. He ran until he was with his feet in the sand. He stopped, pulling the towels from the bag and putting them on the ground. ''Is this the right spot?'' he asked when JJ finally joined him.

''It's perfect.''

''Good.''

JJ put her bag on the ground so she could take off her clothes. She unzipped her shorts first and threw them onto the towel and her tank top followed next. She also let her hair down and she suddenly ran towards the ocean without saying anything to Hotch.

Hotch's eyes followed her every move when she started taking off her clothes. Her legs seemed like they never ended. Her skin was glowing under the sun. Everything about her seemed perfect. She had a beautifully shaped body with curves in all the right places. And as she ran away the wind blew through her shiny long blonde hair. He honestly believed he had never seen anything so perfect. The bright twinkles in her ocean blue eyes were what really blew him away. Her eyes looked fiery while they were warm at the same time.

He couldn't believe what he was doing. He wasn't supposed to look at her like that. She was just a friend he tried to remind himself but somehow he thought about her in another way. It felt so right and so bad at the same time and he didn't know that to do with the feeling.


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, red2013, Westie80, jenny crum, Bea, TuiNui and CM Fan!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 12: Making up**

Hotch buried his thoughts and decided to run after JJ. He had stripped himself of his jeans and shirt and was left in his boxers. He didn't mind that he wasn't wearing swimming trunks. He saw that JJ was already swimming ahead of him. He could see she was having fun and it made him realize that this was the right thing to do.

He stepped with his feet in the slightly cold water. He took a few steps into the ocean and then let himself fall into the water. He went under with his entire body. But he suddenly felt someone holding him down. He knew it had to be JJ so he grabbed her legs and pulled her down with him. He started to swim back to the beach where he sat in the water as he saw that JJ was coming towards him.

''It's such a shame that you didn't drown me!'' he called out and he could see the smile on her face. ''I think revenge is in order though.''

JJ immediately realized he was up to something when he once again made his way towards her. ''I won't do anything stupid if I were you.'' she warned, knowing he probably wouldn't listen anyway but she could always try. He finally stopped in front of her. The water covered her up till her knees. ''You're afraid of me, aren't you?'' she asked. ''Such a little baby.'' she mocked as she walked past him.

Hotch turned around as well. He caught up with JJ and lifted her up from the ground. He carried her over his shoulder as she started to struggle against his strong hold. ''Who's the baby now?'' he asked.

JJ stopped the resistance and she decided to let him carry her. She knew he wouldn't hurt her so there was no real problem. ''I actually like this. I am too lazy to walk anyway. Can you always carry me like this?''

Hotch gently let her fall into the sand. He saw the surprise in her expression. ''You can walk now!'' he answered.

JJ liked his playful side. He was actually capable of being nice. She knew from the beginning he had in him. She just needed some patience to get to see it. ''Thanks.'' she called out as he made his way back to their spot. The sand was sticking to her wet skin and her hair was full of sand as well. She heard Hotch's laugh as he looked at her one more time before he sat down on the towels.

JJ hurried to water and rid herself of all the sand. She wasn't planning on revenge because Hotch would probably have something else up his sleeve. So instead she just dropped down next to him and lay down on the towel. She could feel him staring at her. ''Are you checking me out?'' she asked, repeating the conversation she had with him earlier. ''It's fine. I know I look pretty hot today.''

Hotch almost choked when she started talking. He thought she didn't notice his stares but he couldn't help but look at her. He was actually pretty surprised that she hadn't taken a closer look at him. ''I was looking at the girl over there.'' he pointed out quickly, as he looked at the busty brunette who was the exact opposite of JJ. ''She's pretty.'' he said, feeling sick on the inside at his comment. Somehow he didn't look at other girls while he was with JJ. She was more than enough eye candy for the rest of his life.

''Sure,'' she agreed hesitantly, looking at the girl. ''If you like those kinds of girls.''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''Oh come on! The girl obviously had a boob job, Aaron.''

''So what?'' he asked with annoyance. She was right though but he wasn't going to admit it. ''I don't mind.''

''Probably because you like every girl that moves, right?'' she teased. ''I thought you wanted to go out with Stacy.''

Hotch was suddenly reminded of what he had said to JJ a while ago. ''Yeah, I do. She's beautiful.''

''She is.'' JJ agreed with a hint of jealousy. ''But she isn't that type of girl. She can enjoy a party but she's smart and kind.''

''Of course.''

''Just don't hurt her!'' JJ warned.

''I won't. I promise. Just set up a date for us.'' he suggested. ''I would like to see her again. I had fun with her the last time.''

''I hope she remembers who you are. She was really drunk that night.'' she said as an excuse, knowing Stacy would be excited to go out with a guy like Hotch. As always she would fall head over heels in love and it would end in the same heartbreak she always experienced. ''I'll talk to her as soon we get home.''

''Thanks.'' Hotch said, laying down on the towel. He closed his eyes as the sun was shining on their bodies. And he slowly drifted off into a daydream.

* * *

The rest of the day passed by quickly. Hotch and JJ spent a couple of hours on the beach before they decided to get something to eat. They thought it would be best to go home in time to make sure that JJ could talk to Sean. He had called over five times and JJ didn't want to keep ignoring him any longer. She also realized that the topic of Sean was pretty hard on Hotch. He barely talked to her once she mentioned him and she didn't know what to think of that. She thought he was his friend but there were moments when she just questioned his motives. She had realized that while the outing was fun that she made a mistake once again. The fight with Sean had been a day ago and she just left him hanging. Normally she would never even do that and the regret was getting to her.

JJ opened her eyes when the car stopped. She had pretended to sleep because she didn't want to talk to Hotch. She didn't want to listen to his offensive remarks. She looked out the window and she realized they were back at the cemetery to get her car. She finally turned to Hotch who didn't take a moment to look at her. ''I should go.'' she hinted.

''Yeah, you should.'' he agreed. He heard the door open and close. She was gone before he could even apologize for his childish behavior. He just couldn't stand to hear about Sean and how horrible the fight had been. But as he watched JJ walk away, he realized he didn't want to hurt her. So he jumped from the car and made a run for it, trying to catch up with JJ. ''JJ!'' he called out. ''Wait!''

JJ stopped and whirled around in anger. ''You want to talk about this now?'' she wondered out loud. ''You had the entire day!''

''I know, JJ. I know.'' he began. ''I just don't understand why you let Sean have this power over you.''

''He doesn't, Aaron.'' she shot back. She couldn't believe what he was actually saying. ''I mean, how could you even understand this?''

Hotch took another step towards her to close the distance. ''I do know what it's like to constantly fight with the people you love.''

''Yeah, and that's it. I've never had such a big fight with him before.'' she explained. ''Sean is the person who kept me going in life and he doesn't even know it. How would you feel about that?''

''I think you should worry about yourself every once in a while. Not everything is about Sean, JJ.'' he started. ''Just think about that. Have a good night!'' he said before turning around to make his way back to the car.

JJ was left standing and she realized Hotch was right. She always worried about what others needed, wanted or thought. She never stopped to look at herself.

She turned to her own car and quickly sat behind the wheel. She started the car and drove off. She knew exactly where she was going. She was going to stand up for herself.

It didn't take long for JJ to arrive at the Hotchner residence. She decided to go home first to change into some fresh clothes. She immediately noticed Hotch's car in the driveway and she knew he was home. She hoped she wouldn't run into him. The last two days he was able to make her doubt all her feelings. She didn't know how or why but he just did but she didn't want to feel that way.

JJ hastily stepped from the car and made her way to the front door. She rang the bell and the door was quickly opened by Amy Hotchner.

''Jennifer?'' Amy asked in surprise. ''What are you doing here?''

''Hello, Mrs. Hotchner.'' JJ greeted kindly, trying to hide her hate for the woman in front of her. She knew Amy didn't approve of JJ's relationship with her son. ''I'm here to see Sean.''

''Oh, of course. He's upstairs I think.'' she replied. ''Don't make it too late.''

''I won't, Ma'am.'' JJ agreed as she passed her by and made her way to the stairs. She was in front of Sean's door within seconds. She was about to knock on his door when a cough on the other side of the hallway caught her attention.

She turned around to see Hotch leaning against a wall. He wasn't wearing a shirt and JJ felt the heat pulsing through her body. She was at a loss of words.

''Hi there stranger!'' Hotch greeted funnily. ''Aren't you going to say something?'' he asked when JJ didn't say anything back to him.

''Hello.''

''That's all?'' he said as he made his way towards her. With each step he took, she took one backwards. ''Are you here for Sean?''

''Yes.'' she stuttered. ''I'm here for Sean.'' she repeated as she finally knocked on the door. She saw that Hotch immediately disappeared into his own bedroom. She still wanted to figure out why the two brothers didn't get along. So far she only knew one side of the story.

Sean opened his door and saw a worried JJ standing on the other side. ''JJ!'' he breathed out. ''I've been so worried about you all day. Where have you been?''

''I was out.''

''Come in.'' he said as he stepped aside to let JJ inside. ''I want to apologize, JJ. I was acting like a jerk and I am really sorry.''

JJ sat down on the edge of his bed. She could see he was really sorry and she didn't want to fight with him anymore. But he needed to know how she felt. ''I'm sorry too.'' she said.

''That's good.'' Sean responded.

''I just have to get some things out.'' she began. ''It's my life, Sean! You don't get to decide to which college I go or if I am going to college at all. These are decisions I want to make for myself. I'm sick of always doing what others expect of me. It's not fair.'' she went on. ''And I know your mother probably brought this up, Sean. But if you're going to let her get between us, I don't know if we should be together.''

''You're right, JJ. I know you are and I want us to be together.'' he explained. ''I love you.''

''I love you too.'' JJ whispered as she flew into his arms. She pulled away and he instantly claimed her lips. His kisses always made her feel safe and loved. It felt right but as she was kissing him, she wondered what Hotch was doing and that felt wrong on so many levels. So JJ pulled away to catch her breath. ''I have to go home. I think Sara and Tom are worried about me. But I'll see you tomorrow.''

''Yeah, that sounds great.''

''Bye.'' JJ said before leaving the room to go back home.

Sean waited until JJ was really gone. He was happy that JJ still wanted to be with him. He hadn't been able to erase the image of Hotch and JJ sleeping together. He was so angry at his older brother for slowly making his way into his girlfriend's life. He had already seen that JJ had a soft spot for Hotch. But he wanted to confront Hotch before he was going to say anything to JJ. He didn't want to push JJ further away, even though he wanted to know what happened.

Sean opened Hotch's door in one fluid motion without knocking on the door. He saw Hotch reading a book and he looked at him with shock. ''We need to talk!'' Sean announced.

''About what?'' Hotch laughed out. ''That whole scene you just pulled was completely laughable, Sean. You might be an amazing actor some day.''

''We need to talk about JJ!'' he replied, ignoring his other comments.


	14. Chapter 13

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like this!

Special thanks to Westie80, Sophia0665, red2013, jenny crum and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 13: Brotherly fight**

Hotch put his book away and moved to the edge of his bed while Sean closed the door behind him. Hotch could see the anger in his expression and he figured JJ told him something about their outings. ''What about JJ?''

''Did you sleep with my girlfriend?'' he asked angrily. His voice was filled with jealousy.

''First of all, no! I didn't sleep with JJ. I would never do that.'' Hotch began. ''Second of all, JJ isn't your property, Sean. So stop treating her like it.''

''I saw you two together in her bed this morning. What the hell am I supposed to think?''

''Oh my god.'' he said softly. ''Nothing happened. I saw JJ running out of the house last night so I decided to check up on her. I brought her home and I accidently fell asleep in her bed.''

''How can I possibly believe you?''

''Do you trust her?''

''Of course I do.'' Sean shot back but he didn't know what to believe anymore. He asked JJ to stay away from Hotch but she still didn't listen. ''I just don't trust you.''

''If you trust her, you shouldn't doubt her.'' Hotch started. ''Plus, I would never hurt her. We're just friends.''

Sean whirled around to leave the room but Hotch suddenly blocked his path. ''Step aside!''

''You can tell me what you think, Sean. I can see you have something on your mind.'' Hotch began. ''Just blurt it out. I can take it.''

''You're not her friends for the right reasons, Aaron.'' Sean said bluntly. ''There's always a motive behind your actions. Why would it be different when it comes to JJ?''

''You're paranoid.''

''Am I?'' Sean yelled out. ''You come back after you've been gone for over four years and you're suddenly hanging out with my girlfriend. There's no reason for you to be back.''

Hotch retreated back into his room and sat down in his chair. ''What do you want to hear Sean?'' he asked with annoyance. ''That I slept with JJ while you still haven't? Or that she didn't think about you for one moment while we were hanging out?''

Sean felt the shock going through his body. Anger didn't even describe his feelings in that moment. ''How did you know?''

''JJ told me.'' Hotch admitted. He didn't even think about the consequences this conversation would have for JJ. As always he just thought about himself. That was what he was about. He was selfish and he didn't deny it. ''If she were my girlfriend I would've gone there already. I mean, who wouldn't want to have your girlfriend?''

His last words send Sean over the edge. ''Don't talk about her like that!'' he warned, hoping his brother wasn't going to make his anger worse.

''Why not?'' Hotch asked. ''She's a hottie.''

Sean suddenly jumped forward, attacking Hotch. He was able to punch him in the face before he got hurt. Sean stepped away from Hotch while he was still down on the ground. ''Leave her alone!'' he said, turning around to leave the room when he noticed his mother standing in the doorway.

''What's going on in here?'' Amy asked nervously. She didn't like to see her sons fighting. She hated it.

Hotch slowly got up from the ground as his hand touched cheek. He had to admit that Sean punched him pretty well. At least he didn't fight like a girl. ''Nothing.'' Hotch snapped. ''Nothing is going on and if something was going on you wouldn't even care.''

''That's not true!'' Amy shot back at Hotch. She looked at Sean who just kept standing between them. ''Sean, I want to talk to your brother in private.'' she hinted.

Hotch watches as his brother left the room in a hurry. He couldn't stand to be around his mother. To him she had become a stranger. As a mother she failed him. She betrayed him and he didn't know if he could ever forget. ''What do you want?''

''I want this to work, Aaron.'' she answered.

''How can you expect this to work?'' he yelled angrily. ''I'm not here to rebuilt my relationship with you or dad.''

''We can try.''

Hotch turned around to face away. ''No, we can't.'' he said softly. ''I mean, how long do you think you can keep this from Sean?'' he asked in disappointment. ''To him you're the perfect parents but I know better.''

''Aaron, I'm so sorry for what happened four years ago. I wanted to protect you but I just couldn't. I tried.''

''No, you didn't!'' he said, turning around. He walked past her and stopped when he saw his father standing behind his mother. ''You never told the truth to anyone. You said I was a liar and now even my own brother hates me for something I never did!'' he added as a tear rolled down his face. It was the first time in years he actually cried. He didn't want to show any emotion but in that moment he couldn't keep it away.

''Amy, come downstairs!'' Daniel ordered and his wife immediately walked away from the conversation. He made his way over to Hotch who kept standing in the same spot. ''You have to leave, Aaron!'' he threatened, his voice filled with hatred and anger.

Hotch took a step forward to show he wasn't afraid of his own father. ''You don't threaten me, remember!'' he hinted. ''You're no longer ruling this house.''

''You're not as tough as you seem.''

''You want to bet!'' Hotch shot back. ''I was able to push you down the stairs four years ago. I wouldn't underestimate me.'' he stated. ''You're a son of a bitch who never thinks of the consequences his actions cause.''

''What are you talking about?''

''You'll see!'' Hotch said, throwing the door shut in front of his father's face. He went back to his bed and dropped down. He took his book and continued reading, hoping his problems would fade away. He felt the anger boiling inside of him. He couldn't believe that his father had the guts to threaten him. But he wasn't going to back away from his fight. He came back for two reasons and those two only. This time his father wasn't going to win. He was going to do the right thing no matter what the cause.


	15. Chapter 14

A/N: Here's another chapter. The drama keeps on coming. I hope everyone likes this.

Special thanks to red2013, Sophia0665, Westie80, CM Fan, jenny crum and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 14: Preparation**

JJ arrived home about an hour ago. She immediately took the time to call Stacy about a date with Hotch. And as predicted Stacy was overly excited about it. She said she had been thinking about Hotch since their make out session. The worst thing was that JJ felt jealous as she heard her friend talking about Hotch but that also made her realize that it would be the right thing to pair them up together. It was a way for JJ to stay away from him because he was going to be dating her very best friend. She knew Sean's doubts about him should do that but there was something in Sean's argument that wasn't believable.

JJ forced herself to think about something else other than the tall dark handsome brother. But she still had to call him and she was afraid that a conversation over the phone would turn into more. She didn't want that but she still picked up the phone and quickly dialed his number. She suddenly realized how tired she was. A yawn escaped her mouth when she heard a voice on the other side of the line.

''_Do I bore you already, JJ?'' _Hotch asked in a laugh. He was glad JJ called him. He didn't expect her to call at all.

''No, you don't. I am just really tired so I don't want to make this too long.'' she explained.

''_So you called because you can't sleep without me? Or did you want to hear my voice?''_

JJ sighed deeply as she walked towards her bed and dropped down in exhaustion. ''You can't act like a normal person for one second, can you?''

''_Depends on the person, JJ. And you clearly don't mind that I speak the truth.'' _he went on. _''So why did you call me?''_

''I just called Stacy about that date.'' she pointed out.

''_You did?''_

''Yeah, I did. She would love to go out with you. She actually couldn't stop talking about you.'' JJ started, remembering the phone conversation from earlier. ''She described in great detail how you kissed, which is something I hope to forget soon.''

A feeling of disappointment washed over Hotch as he listened to JJ rambling on about Stacy. She sounded way too chipper for his liking. He wished she would show some kind of jealousy but he couldn't detect a bit of it. _''Why don't we make it a double date?''_

''What?'' she stumbled. ''With Sean? Me? You and Sean?''

''_Sure,'' _he said. _''Sean and I've been getting along better and I think it would be great to spent time that way.'' _he lied, knowing he just wanted to see JJ. Sean was the only way for him to see her.

''Sounds great. When do you have time?''

''_Tomorrow?''_

''Yeah, I can do that. I'll text you Stacy's number so you can tell her and I will tell Sean.'' she suggested.

''_Great.''_

''I'm already looking forward to it.'' JJ said as a big smile took over her face. She felt the butterflies in her stomach. To her it felt like she had a date with Hotch. She knew how bad that thought was but it seemed to right. ''Aaron?''

''_Yes?''_

''I'm so sorry.'' she apologized.

''_About what?''_

She laid down on the bed and turned on her side as she kept the phone to her ear at all times. ''About everything I said to you. You were being so nice and you took me out twice to get my mind of all my problems and I acted like a bitch.''

''_It's fine, JJ.'' _he said quickly. _''What are friends for, right?''_

''Yeah, friends!'' she agreed. ''I'll see you tomorrow.''

''_Yeah. Sleep well!''_

''You too.'' JJ whispered before hanging up the phone. She put it on the nightstand before she turned on her back. The events of the day came rushing back to her. The joy, the hurt and most of all the emotions. Her feelings had been going back and forth all day. She wondered how one person could make her question everything. The thoughts kept coming until she finally fell asleep. But Hotch even claimed her dreams. Her entire life was turned upside down by one person who came into it.

* * *

The next morning JJ came out of bed late. She finally caught up on the sleep she needed and she felt renewed for the day to come. She felt pretty excited to spent time with Sean and Stacy but Hotch was still the on her mind most of time. She was happy that she had someone to talk to. He didn't judge her or say what she had needed to do. He just let her be. But for now she needed to put him out of her head. She had to get dressed before Stacy was coming over. She asked Stacy to come over before the double date so they could decide what to wear and of course they needed to talk about the guys. It was going to be some girl time before it turned into boy time. It had been a while since JJ had actually seen Stacy. She was out of town during her birthday so she was excited to catch up with her friend.

JJ ran down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring. She had the entire house to herself because Tom and Sara were both at work. She had barely talked to them since the altercation about the accident. She was still processing the events but she barely even had time to think about it anymore. Her life had been pretty buys even though it was summer. She quickly opened the door to see Stacy on the other side. ''You're early!'' JJ exclaimed as she hugged her friend tightly.

''I couldn't wait.'' Stacy said. ''I'm so excited.'' she exclaimed.

''I can see that.'' JJ said, closing the door behind them. ''Let's go upstairs and put on some sexy clothes for the boys.''

''I like your attitude, lady.''

JJ walked up the stairs and into her room as Stacy followed her inside. JJ took a seat on her bed as Stacy sat down in her lazy chair.

''You look chipper.'' Stacy pointed out as she looked at JJ. She had a glow about her that she hadn't seen in a while. ''What happened while I was gone?''

''A lot actually.'' she responded. ''Do you want to know all the details?''

''Of course! What are you waiting for?''

''Here it goes.'' JJ began excitedly. ''I had a fight with Sean on my birthday which led me to storm out of the house. So I ended up in a bar with Aaron and the next day we went out as well. Later that day I reconciled with Sean and Aaron and I have decided to be friends.'' she went on. ''So my days were filled with drama but everything turned out fine.''

''Sounds like a hard couple of days. But I am glad you and Sean are fine.'' Stacy said quickly. ''You guys are like the perfect couple. Everyone wants to have what you two have.''

''Maybe.''

Stacy jumped from the chair when she noticed a nice dress in JJ's closet. ''You two are picture perfect.'' she said, taking the dress out of the closet and checking it out.

''You can try that one. I haven't worn it in a long time. It'll look pretty on you.''

''Thanks, JJ.''

JJ stepped next to her friend and took a simple cute white dress from the closet. She didn't want to go overboard. Sean had seen her in every style of clothes she had. JJ never really had one style. She would wear skinny jeans or baggy jeans one day and the next day she would be walking around in a dress. ''I'm going to wear this one.''

''That's cute.'' Stacy agreed as she was halfway in the dressing process. She quickly put on the red strapless dress. It looked good, but she didn't want it to be too much. But she knew Hotch liked to see a little too much. She had spent some time with him earlier and she didn't expect him to be the kind of guy who liked the girl who wore layers. ''How do I look?''

JJ turned around and she smiled when she noticed how beautiful Stacy looked. ''It's perfect, Stace. Aaron is going to be all over you.'' JJ said with an ache going through her body. She was already jealous of Stacy and that wasn't good at all.

''I hope so. It's not like we haven't done anything before.'' she bragged proudly while JJ was putting on her dress. ''He's a really good kisser.''

JJ almost choked. She didn't want to hear those details but she couldn't blow off her friend. ''That's great.''

''I am so happy, JJ.'' she exclaimed. ''You have Sean and I'm going out with Aaron. This is going to be a great summer. I can feel it.''

''I hope so.'' JJ murmured.

''What did you say?''

''We should get ready before the guys are here.'' she said quickly, hoping Stacy didn't notice her reluctance. JJ felt a headache appear and she wished she could cancel and just stay inside all day. She felt like crap and she knew exactly why. That reason only made her feelings worse. She felt messed up. Nothing was right and she wondered if things ever would be again.


	16. Chapter 15

A/N: Here's another one.

Special thanks to Sohpia0665, CM Fan, jenny crum, Westie80, Katia XD and red2013!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 15: Disastrous date**

It didn't take long before JJ and Stacy got ready for the double date. The moment the doorbell rang, Stacy was flying out of JJ's room. JJ knew her best friend was excited and she told herself to not spoil the night. Her feelings of jealousy needed to be kept to herself in order to have a nice evening. But it seemed impossible to JJ once she realized that she was going to be close to Hotch for the rest of the evening. So she just had to focus on Sean. That was her goal.

JJ took one last glance in the mirror before she left her room. She stopped at the top of the stairs when she recognized the two voices. She could hear Hotch talking to Stacy and Sean was joined in the conversation. JJ quickly made her way downstairs to join the so called party that was starting. ''Hey!'' she greeted happily before kissing Sean on the lips. Sean deepened the kiss for a moment and she pulled away when they heard two coughs coming from behind them. ''Sorry.'' she apologized as she turned to Hotch. Her eyes flew over his choice of clothing. He looked hot as hell like he always did. His outfit mostly consisted out of t-shirts, jeans and a leather jacket.

Hotch could feel JJ's weariness and it made him realize this wasn't what she wanted. ''It's good to see you again, JJ.'' he said as a smile appeared on his face. He leaned forward and put one quick kiss on her cheek. Even with a meaningless kiss like that, he felt something real. But tonight wasn't the night to crush on his brother's girl. He was going out with a very beautiful girl and he needed to make the best of it.

''Yeah.'' JJ agreed as she made her way back to Sean. ''So where are we going?'' she asked curiously.

Sean put his arms around JJ possessively. ''Aaron and I thought take out and a movie at our place would be best. Just a comfortable evening in a place we know.'' he suggested.

''That sounds great.'' Stacy exclaimed as she walked next to Hotch. They were already heading towards the car while JJ was closing the door to the house. ''JJ, what do you think?'' Stacy asked, turning around nervously. ''Doesn't it sound great?''

''It does.''

Hotch stopped in front of his truck and he opened the door for Stacy. He saw a disgusted expression on her face and he wondered what he did wrong. ''What is it?''

''Is that yours?'' Stacy asked as she looked at the old pickup truck. ''I'll ride with Sean.''

JJ could see the hint of hurt on Hotch's face. She liked the fact that he had a different kind of car. It wasn't like the expensive sports car Sean drove in. She hated flashy cars and Hotch's truck was definitely the opposite of a flashy car. ''Then I'll ride with Aaron.'' JJ announced as she hopped in the truck. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw the astonished look she got from Hotch. ''Not what you expected, huh?'' she teased as she watched Sean and Stacy disappear to his car. She could see that Sean was having a hard time already.

Hotch hurried to the other side and jumped inside. He started the car and drove off. He looked to his side when he felt JJ staring at him. ''What's wrong?'' he immediately asked, knowing something was coming.

''Does this feel weird to you?'' she asked boldly. ''I mean, the whole double dating thing.''

''It's weird but it's fun to watch Sean squirm whenever I take a step towards you. He really can't stand the idea of us being friends.''

''I know and I'll talk to him about it.''

''Good.'' Hotch mumbled. ''You look good too. Very good.'' he added while JJ blushed slightly.

''Thank you.'' she whispered as she watched him intently. She was making small observations about him and storing them into her brain for safekeeping. ''You and Sean are as different as two people can be.''

''Like fire and water? Heaven and hell?''

''Yeah,'' JJ began. ''You two look different. Everything is different and somehow I like you both.''

''That feels like a compliment. Was it meant as a compliment?''

JJ giggled in response. ''Yes, it's a compliment, Aaron. You already know I like you.''

''Oh god, you do?'' he asked loudly, acting like he was surprised. ''I thought you hated me.''

''Sure! And did you figure that out after I went to the beach with you?''

Hotch remembered the day before and he knew it was something he would never forget. He had a really great time. It had been ages since he just had fun and could relax. ''I already forgot that actually. It wasn't really a memorable day for me.'' he lied, knowing JJ wouldn't believe him. He sighed deeply when he realized they arrived at the house. He knew his parents were out for the night which made it a bit easier for him. He hated living with his parents but he was already busy enough with finding an apartment in the city. He couldn't wait to leave the house again but this time he wouldn't leave for long. He was going to keep an eye on everything. Hotch parked his car in the driveway and climbed from the car at the same time as JJ.

JJ stepped next to Hotch, seeing Stacy and Sean waiting for them at the door. ''I know you just lied! And I hope you know that payback is a bitch.'' she said, pushing him onto the grass. She wasn't able to push him far because he was too strong for her. She ran over to Sean and she was about to take his hand when he pulled away in anger. JJ knew exactly what it was about.

''Let's go inside.'' Sean said snappy as he opened the door. He waited for everyone to get inside before he closed the door. He stepped in front of JJ to block her path. ''We need to talk!''

''Can we do this after this date is over, Sean?'' JJ asked nervously, knowing what was about to come. She saw that Hotch was waiting for them.

''What's going on?'' Hotch questioned with concern in his voice. ''Everything okay?''

''It's fine!'' Sean shot back at him.

JJ stepped closer to Sean, hoping his anger would subside. ''Don't yell at him, Sean. He did nothing wrong. Our problems have nothing to do with him!''

''Yes, they do!''

Hotch took his stand next to JJ. He wasn't going to stand by and let Sean yell at JJ. She didn't deserve it at all. ''Leave her alone, Sean.'' he said protectively.

JJ turned to Hotch. ''Thanks, Aaron.'' she mumbled. ''Sean and I need to talk. You and Stacy can continue with your plans without us.''

They waited for Hotch to leave before they walked up the stairs and into Sean's room. JJ had the worst feeling about the entire situation. She knew Sean was attacking her because she was having fun with his brother again.

''I told you to stay away from him, JJ!'' Sean began, starting the conversation off with the wrong subject. ''You just never listen to me!''

JJ felt like exploding. She was tired of having the same conversation every single time. ''It told you yesterday that I can make my own decisions.''

''I guess not.''

''You're kidding right?'' JJ asked angrily. ''You just don't trust me, do you?''

''I trust you but I don't trust Aaron and from what I've seen I have every right to not trust him around you.''

''What's wrong?'' she asked out. ''I mean, why do you care? We're just friends, Sean.''

''Everything is wrong, JJ.'' Sean yelled. ''You sleep in the same bed, you go out to a bar and you spent time at the beach!''

Sean could see the surprise on JJ's face. She probably didn't expect Hotch to tell him that but he was glad he found out. ''Yes, I know.'' he said, knowing what she was going to ask. ''Look, JJ.'' he began. ''I trust you. I really do but I don't know what Aaron is doing here or what his motives are. I am trying to protect you.''

JJ sat down on the bed, trying to stay calm while she still could. ''Sean, I know you're a good guy. You are and I know you want to protect me. But this has to stop!''

''So you agree you need to stop seeing him?''

''No!'' she snapped. ''I would never agree to that.''

''Why not?''

JJ sighed deeply before answering. She decided to tell Sean the truth. There wasn't much she could say to make the fight worse. ''Because I care about him!'' she answered. She saw the expression on Sean's face change drastically. ''But I love you! I love you!'' she repeated.

''I know my brother, JJ. I don't trust him around you.''

''Sean, I hate this!'' JJ said angrily. ''I don't want to justify my actions towards you! I am sick of it. It's not fair!'' she added. ''I can talk to your brother whenever I want to. It's my choice and I like having him in my life.''

Sean was pacing around his room. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. ''You just want him in your life right now.'' he started. ''But in a few months he'll get you to sleep with him and then he will just leave, JJ. That's all he wants.''

''You don't even know him!''

''I do!''

''You should take the time to try because you don't know anything about your own brother!'' JJ yelled out as she turned to the door.

Sean followed her to the door and pulled her back by the wrist. JJ turned around angrily and he could see the hurt on her face. He gently let go of her wrist as he took a step backwards.

''Right now, you're no better than him.'' JJ said with all honesty. Sean was changing drastically ever since Hotch came to town. ''It's changing you.''

''What?''

''Your brother's presence has changed you, Sean.'' JJ began. ''You've always trusted me no matter what. At school you didn't get jealous when I hang out with your friends or any other guy but somehow you get jealous when it comes to Aaron.'' she went on. ''You don't even trust me anymore and I don't know how many times I can tell you that we're just friends.''

''This isn't right, JJ. We're not supposed to be like this.'' Sean whispered.

''I know.'' she agreed, turning to the door again. She put her hand on the doorknob and faced Sean one more time. ''I'll talk to you later.''

''JJ, wait!'' he called out. ''Are we breaking up?''

''I don't know.'' she replied. ''I'll talk to you later.'' JJ said before closing the door behind her. She leaned against it and forced herself to keep the tears away. She didn't want to cry. She walked down the hallway once she was composed. She quickly made her way downstairs where Hotch was waiting for her. He was leaning with his back against the front door and he instantly made his way towards when he saw her.

Hotch walked towards JJ and stopped in front of her. ''Are you okay?''

JJ looked up into his eyes and she saw his concern. This time she couldn't keep the tears away. She wiped away the tears that ran down her face. ''No, I am not.'' she admitted.

''Is there anything I can do for you?''

''Yeah,'' she answered. ''Go and have fun with Stacy. She likes you Aaron and I think you guys are perfect for one another.'' she said before she ran out the door and left Hotch standing in the enormous hallway.

Hotch could feel every ounce of hurt that JJ exposed. It pained him to know that she was hurting. But right now he had a nice girl waiting for him in his bedroom and he didn't want to screw it up. He knew he needed to let JJ go in order to move on. He just didn't know if he could ever move on from a girl like JJ. He just needed to try no matter what.


	17. Chapter 16

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone likes it.

Special thanks jenny crum, Sophia0665, Westie80, red2013, CM Fan, Katia XD and TuiNui!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 16: Unstoppable jealousy**

_**A month later…**_

A month passed by as Sean and JJ were slowly fixing their relationship. They spent every possible moment together and they were closer than ever before. JJ realized she couldn't lose Sean. He meant too much to her. But in order to move forward in her relationship with Sean, she promised to spent less time with Hotch and that was exactly what she did. She had barely seen him in the passing month. She occasionally ran into him at Sean's house or at Stacy's house but that was all she saw of him. When they saw each other they exchanged longing looks and gazes filled with desire. JJ didn't forget her feelings for him but the distance no longer put a strain on her relationship with Sean and that made her realize it was for the best. It was hard but it was for the best.

Stacy talked about Hotch almost every second and JJ knew her best friend was happy in her relationship with him. They were becoming rather close and sometimes JJ forced herself to forget the details Stacy told her about Hotch. But most of the time it was impossible. Stacy's comments often forced her to fantasize about the handsome guy she knew she was slowly falling for. It wasn't right but her heart felt differently. For the sake of her friendship with Stacy, she supported her. She didn't want to lose her best friend either.

For Hotch his distance from JJ was becoming unbearable. He missed her every single day and he didn't understand why. He never missed a girl before. But the feelings he was feeling were different and he knew it. JJ had taken over his every thought and it was clouding his emotions and judgment more with every day that passed.

Hotch was nervously walking through his room, trying to make a decision. Adam had called him about a party. Adam told him to bring JJ, Sean and Stacy. Hotch just didn't know if he was supposed to ask JJ and Sean to come. They made it clear that they wanted distance by the way they had been acting. But he also didn't want JJ to hear from Stacy that they had gone to a party without them. That wouldn't be fair either. So he was just going to invite them. He quickly made his way to Sean's room and knocked on the door and waited for a response.

''Come in.'' he heard Sean calling out. His voice sounded muffled. He opened the door to find that JJ was crawled against Sean's side on the bed.

JJ immediately pulled away from Sean when she saw Hotch standing in the doorway. She could see a hint of jealousy on his face and she didn't want to make it even worse. ''Hi.'' she greeted kindly as she stepped from the bed.

''Hey, JJ!'' Hotch greeted happily. It felt good to really see her again and to be close to her again. He glanced at JJ one more time before he turned his attention to Sean. ''Adam is throwing a party in a couple of hours and he asked both of you to come.'' he explained. ''So you guys are welcome.''

''That sounds great.'' JJ immediately responded and she was about say more when Sean caught her off.

''We need to talk about it first.'' Sean interrupted as he looked at JJ with an angry expression, trying to let her know that he didn't want to go.

''Sure. Just let me know soon.'' Hotch said before leaving the room again.

JJ watched in disappointment as Hotch left the room and she felt the guilt take over. Sean was being an ass and she couldn't stand it. So she quickly put on her sneakers to find Hotch and apologize.

''Where are you going?'' Sean asked.

JJ whirled around. ''I'm going to tell your brother that I am coming to the party. You can make your own choice, Sean. But I'm going no matter what you think.'' she said confidently as she left no room open for discussion.

''Okay.'' Sean said, seeing the surprise on JJ's face. It had been the first time in a month that JJ had actually spoken to Hotch so he wasn't going to stop her. He was already happy with how things had gone in the past month. He couldn't stop JJ from doing what she wanted to do. He had definitely learned that from his past mistakes.

JJ ran into the hall and she saw that Hotch was about to disappear into his room. ''Aaron?'' she called out, hoping he would turn around and acknowledge her.

Hotch turned around when he heard his name. He saw JJ standing in the middle of the hallway. Her eyes were filled with doubts. ''What do you want?'' he asked in annoyance.

JJ stepped closer to him and stopped right in front of him. ''I wanted to let you know that I'm coming to the party. It sounds like fun.''

''Wow, Sean is letting you go?'' he mocked. ''I thought we weren't allowed to be near one another.''

''Aaron,'' JJ sighed out, seeing the pain he expressed. ''I thought it would be best for the both of us.''

''You just assumed it would be but you never asked me what I wanted.'' he began. ''I thought we were friends. I thought you were different but I guess I really underestimated you, JJ. So points for you.'' he said as he was about to turn around but he stopped when he felt JJ touching his arm. Her touch sent sparks flying.

''We still are.'' she whispered. ''I never wanted this to happen, Aaron. I just needed to take some distance to show Sean that…I…I…'' she stumbled and stopped when she didn't know what to say.

''That you what, JJ?'' he asked curiously, thinking she almost confessed some feelings for him but unfortunately she stopped.

''I don't know.'' she exclaimed. ''Right now I feel like my emotions are all over the place and I can't even describe my own feelings. I'm sorry.''

''Don't be!'' Hotch said with understanding. ''I'll see you tonight. You can text Stacy about the details. I think she'll be pretty excited when she hears that you're coming.''

''Good. So you two are doing good?'' she asked.

Hotch shrugged his shoulders. ''She's a great girl but sometimes I notice the age difference. I didn't expect that five years would matter but it clearly does.'' he answered. ''But I'm not giving up yet. We actually have a lot in common and she's very sweet.'' he gushed, knowing JJ felt annoyed by it.

''Well, that's great. See you soon!'' she said. She turned around and made her way back to Sean's room to tell him she was officially going. She knew Hotch kept his distance from her during their conversation and the guilt really hit her. She caused the coldness and tension between them. She never wanted it to be there in the first place. She just hoped she could still fix it. She didn't want to lose Aaron as a friend no matter what the consequences would be.


	18. Chapter 17

A/N: Here's another chapter. I am so surprised by the amazing response to this story and it means everything to me. I never thought people would like this because it's totally new to me. But thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, jenny crum, red2013, Westie80, Katia XD and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 17: Dirty dancing**

JJ and Sean stepped inside the club where many people were dancing. The club was crowded but it looked like a good party and JJ couldn't wait to let all her worries fade away for one evening. She was sick of behaving like the good kid all the time. She had a party side within her and tonight was the perfect night to let that side out. JJ and Sean dropped off their coats before they went into the club.

Sean led JJ towards the bar. He turned around to JJ and checked her out. She looked absolutely gorgeous as always. ''You look beautiful, JJ.'' he complimented, looking at the dark blue dress that showed off her perfect body. She was wearing black heels which added to the length of her legs. And her makeup was perfect. Just like her hair. Everything about her looked perfect.

''Thanks.'' JJ said while her eyes skimmed the crowd. She hoped she would find Hotch somewhere but she stopped looking when she heard Stacy's voice coming from behind her.

''JJ!'' Stacy called out loudly. ''You're here!''

''I am.'' JJ said happily. ''So let's get this party started.'' she said as she turned to the bartender. ''Four shots please.''

''Wow, you're already going for it.'' Hotch said, noticing that JJ was acting a bit out of control.

''Four shots for the lady.'' the bartender said as he put them all in front of her.

JJ gave everyone one shot. She lifted her tiny glass in the air. ''To an evening of fun.'' she toasted. After the glasses clinked the substance disappeared into her throat quickly.

Hotch turned to Stacy and took her glass to put it on the counter. He took her hand and squeezed it softly. ''Would you like to dance?''

''Of course.'' Stacy said.

JJ watched as they disappeared onto the dance floor. The perfect music was on to dance but she knew Sean never like to dance so she just stared at Hotch and Stacy. They had their arms wrapped around each other. Their bodies were stuck together and JJ felt the life leave her body when Hotch started to grind his hips against Stacy. The sight made her feel sick. She didn't want to see them together like that. It was supposed to be her.

''They really don't have a sense of decency.'' JJ spat out. ''Look at them.'' she pointed out.

''Looks like they're having fun.'' Sean stated simply.

''They need to get a room.'' JJ snapped at him.

Sean turned to JJ and he realized she was jealous. He could see it written all over her face. And for the first time his suspicions about Hotch and JJ were confirmed. He knew it all along. ''Maybe.'' he mustered angrily.

''We should dance!'' JJ said, dragging Sean away from the bar and taking him to the dance floor. She wasn't going stand by and watch Hotch act like that. She had her own boyfriend she could use to make him jealous. In that moment JJ knew she sounded ridiculous but she couldn't stand the situation that was unfolding before her.

Sean tried to keep his composure as he danced with JJ. He saw her eyes on Hotch at all times and it was hurting him. He loved JJ and he didn't want to lose her. Especially not to his untrustworthy brother. It didn't seem fair but he also wanted JJ to be happy no matter what she wanted. So he just decided to go along with her actions. He turned JJ around so her back was turned against him. He held her tightly against him with his hands on her hips as they moved to the rhythm of the music. He leaned forward and kissed JJ's neck. ''You're a good dancer.'' he whispered in between kisses.

JJ felt the warmth pulsing through her veins. Sean still had that affect on her but it wasn't the same as it used to be. Normally she would feel the butterflies but they weren't there. ''So are you.'' JJ smiled out, making eye contact with Hotch.

Hotch looked into JJ's eyes and let his eyes flow over her body when she looked away. Her hips swayed sensually to the music while Sean had his hands all over her body. The image made him want to disappear but he wasn't going to let them know how he felt. He knew JJ was playing a game and he wasn't going to let her win.

Stacy looked up at Hotch when she started to feel that his attention was drifting away from him. So she let go of him and took a step backwards. ''Do you want to get a drink?'' she asked.

Hotch snapped back to reality when he heard her voice. ''Of course.'' he said as he followed Stacy to the bar. He could no longer spot JJ in the crowd. The club had become overly crowded. He took a zip from the beer in front of him and looked over at Stacy. She looked dizzy and pale. ''Babe, are you okay?'' he asked with concern.

''I think I had too much to drink.'' she mumbled as she leaned on Hotch for support.

''I'll take you home.'' he said, putting an arm around her waist to hold her tightly. He didn't even know that Stacy had been drinking so much. She had been fine the entire evening and now she was suddenly feeling worse. He knew the club wasn't the right place to be so he took her outside and put her in his truck to bring her home.

Hotch returned to the club about an hour later only to find JJ sitting at the bar alone. He didn't see Sean anywhere so he dropped down next to her. He could see the exhaustion on her face. He was worried about her. He knew that her relationship with Sean wasn't the same as before and he knew it was slowly breaking her apart. She seemed less outgoing and her joy had disappeared completely.

''Where's Sean?'' he asked as he put a hand on her shoulder for comfort. ''You don't look so good, JJ.''

''He left because we got into another fight.'' she said as a tear ran down her face. She was exhausted and she felt emotionally drained. ''He's worried about our friendship.''

''But we've barely seen each other this month.'' Hotch stated firmly. ''I didn't have one normal conversation with you.''

''I know and I missed you so much, Aaron. I kept my distance to satisfy Sean but nothing seems to be good enough for him.'' she started. ''I keep apologizing but nothing I do is good enough for him.'' she went on. ''I am just tired of fighting. I can't do it anymore.''

''Why are you still with him?'' Hotch asked. ''He treats you like his property.''

JJ turned to around to fully face him. He looked great as always but that wasn't the thing she noticed. He actually looked happy. ''I don't want to talk about.'' she said, knowing the subject only led to problems. ''How have you been?''

''Pretty good actually.'' Hotch answered, smiling widely. ''I found an apartment near Georgetown and I'm moving in tomorrow actually.''

''That's amazing. So you're still going to Georgetown?''

''Yeah, I really want to.''

A silence fell when they both didn't know what to say next. But it wasn't awkward. They just looked at one an another, knowing it was right. It felt good to see each other again after such a long time.

''It looks like you and Stacy are doing great.'' JJ said, breaking the silence. She also received a surprised look from Hotch.

''I guess so.''

''So you're not?'' JJ asked, noticing his reluctance. ''If you don't like her you should tell her Aaron because I know she really cares about you. She doesn't deserve to get hurt.''

''I know.''

''Do you?'' JJ accused. ''Because it seems like you just use her for a fun time but when it comes to caring about her it is suddenly too much. What are you doing?''

Hotch rose from the stool. JJ was already accusing him. ''It's my life, JJ. Last time I checked I could do whatever I wanted to do!'' he began. ''So stay out of it!''

''She's my friend, Aaron. I am not going to stand by and let you hurt her.''

''I'll make it easy for you. Just tell her I cheated.'' he laughed out.

''What?'' JJ asked as Hotch made his way onto the dance floor. JJ saw him moving towards a slightly older girl who was dancing close with another guy. Hotch just grabbed her by the waist and started kissing her. To JJ's surprise the girl just went along with it and the kiss deepened.

JJ grabbed her purse, feeling sick to her stomach. It wasn't just the jealousy but the thought that he did that to her best friend. She also couldn't believe she started to like someone who treated everyone around him like dirt. For the first time truly understood why Sean acted strange around his brother. He had every right to.


	19. Chapter 18

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone likes it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, red2013, CM Fan, Katia XD and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 18: Unveiling**

After JJ got out of the club she decided to go to Sean's house to apologize. She no longer felt like he was being unfair to her when it came to Hotch. But on her way to his house she felt her heart breaking for unknown reasons. Emotions were taking her over and she couldn't help but cry. It felt stupid but the tears just came and she couldn't stop them.

JJ calmly walked from her car to the front door when she arrived. She rang the doorbell and there was no response. So she resorted to knocking until the door finally opened. Sean was standing on the other side in his sweatpants and shirt.

''JJ?'' Sean asked with concern when he saw a disheveled JJ in front of him. ''What happened to you?''

JJ sighed deeply, inhaling all the air her lungs could be filled with. ''You're right about him, Sean.'' she said as she stepped inside the house. ''Aaron cheated on Stacy right in front of me.''

''I don't know what to say.'' he replied. ''Let's go upstairs for a moment.''

''No, I can't. I need to talk to Stacy. She needs to know. I am not keeping this from her.'' JJ said angrily.

Sean put his hands on JJ's shoulders. ''You need to calm down, JJ. Take it easy.''

''I…I…I trusted him. I thought he was my friend. I told him personal things about my life.'' she said. ''I believed in him.'' she went on. ''Stacy is going to be crushed and I don't know how to tell her this. She really likes him and she thought it was going somewhere.''

''I'm sorry, JJ. I know you did but he isn't a good person.''

''I should've listened to you. He came between us because I let him.'' JJ said as she wiped away the last tear. ''I won't let it happen again.''

''It's okay.'' Sean whispered affectionately. ''Do you want to come upstairs with me?''

''No, I should get going.'' she replied. ''But I'll see you in a couple of days.''

''Yeah,'' Sean whispered. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. He made his way to the stairs and looked at JJ. ''Tell Stacy I'm sorry.''

''I will.'' JJ said. She stayed frozen in the hallway when Sean walked up the stairs. She moved back to the door when he was gone. But the door opened at the exact same time and she saw Hotch walking in. JJ immediately tried to walk past him but he purposely blocked her path.

''We need to talk!'' Hotch said, closing the door behind him.

JJ took a step forward. She put her hands on Hotch's chest and pushed him against the door with all the power she had in her body. ''Stay away from Stacy!'' she shot at him. ''Stay away from her!''

''Oh, you're feisty!'' he groaned out.

JJ took a step back and looked at him in disbelief. ''What's wrong with you? How can you not care about other people? Or the consequences that your actions have?'' she said. ''You don't even care, do you?''

''Don't lecture me, JJ. You know better than that.''

''I guess I didn't.'' she said sadly, taking another step back. ''Why did you kiss that girl? Don't you care about other people's feelings?''

''It's none of your business, JJ.'' Hotch shot back in anger. ''I don't care about my actions. I do whatever I feel like doing.''

''It is my business.'' she yelled out. ''Why do you always lash out? You can change Aaron. I know you can. I saw that caring and good side of you. Where did it go?''

Hotch took a step closer to her, trying to intimidate her but it wasn't working at all. JJ didn't move an inch. ''Don't be a martyr, JJ!'' he replied angrily. ''Poor little parentless JJ thinks she can turn everyone around. Well, I am not something for you to fix.''

JJ heard a creak coming from the stairs. She immediately turned around and saw Sean standing on top of the stairs. The look in his face was filled with questions and she didn't know what to say. ''Sean?'' JJ called out when she saw he was going back up the stairs. She decided to run after him. She made it into his room where he was sitting behind his computer.

''Please, let me explain, Sean!'' she whispered emotionally.

''Just tell me he was joking.'' he said angrily. ''Tell me I haven't been a complete fool this entire time we've been together. Tell me, JJ!''

''You're not a fool!''

''So, it's true.'' Sean noticed. He knew JJ and it was true. He felt his heart sink to his feet. The girl he loved had been lying to him for months. She had lied to him ever since they met and he just couldn't believe JJ would do that. ''Your parents are gone? Is that why you live with your aunt and uncle?''

''I wanted to tell you, Sean.''

''But you didn't!''

JJ stepped forward but he held up his hand to stop her. ''I didn't know how.'' she began. ''When I met you I felt like I could make a fresh start and I didn't want to bring my baggage into our relationship.''

''That wasn't up to you, JJ.''

''I know and I'm so sorry.''

Sean didn't know what to say or even think. It was all too overwhelming. ''But you told my brother. My brother, JJ!'' he yelled out. ''The guy that has been trying to get between us since the moment he came to town. How could you?''

''He found me at the cemetery and he saw the three names. He already knew.'' she tried to explain but she knew there would never be a good explanation for what she hid from him.

''Three names?'' he asked in shock. ''What exactly happened?''

''There was a car crash on the day of my birthday last year.'' she stumbled. ''I was the only survivor. My sister, Nicole, and my parents died that day.''

The shock really hit Sean once the words actually came out of her mouth. He started to choke up. The truth was heartbreaking and a part of him understood why JJ didn't want to talk about it. But he just couldn't believe that she would tell Hotch before him. ''Were you ever going to tell me?''

''Sean,'' JJ breathed out before she could actually say something. ''When I moved here that summer, I was so depressed and I lost my way.'' she started. ''And then I had to go to school and I met you. You turned that around when we became and friends.'' she went on. ''Then we started dating and I was glad to be alive again. You made me realize that life was worth living. I just never knew how to tell you because I didn't know how to deal with it.''

''JJ, this is your life. I was going to find out at some point. What did you think was going to happen?''

''I don't know.''

Sean sighed deeply. ''I don't know what to say.''

''I don't want us to be over because of this. I don't want to lose you, Sean.''

Sean nodded in agreement. ''I'm sorry about your family, JJ.'' he said sadly. ''But right now I really need some time to think about all of this.''

''Of course.'' JJ said, turning around to make her way out of the house. She understood he needed space. She just hoped he wouldn't stay mad at her forever. She didn't want to lose him.

Sean waited until he heard the door downstairs close. After that he immediately made his way downstairs where he found Hotch sitting on the couch with a glass of scotch in his hand. Sean wanted to beat him up but he wasn't going to let his anger control him. He knew JJ wouldn't appreciate it. He had to prove he was better than Hotch and that was an easy task to do.

''So you cheated on Stacy.'' Sean commented arrogantly. ''I thought you cared about her.''

''I do. I did.'' Hotch added quickly.

''She's a human being, Aaron. She doesn't deserve to be treated like dirt.'' Sean said angrily.

''I just want more in a girl, Sean. Stacy isn't right for me.''

''Okay. So, what are you looking for to be exact?'' Sean asked, knowing he was going to be giving hints that he wanted JJ.

Hotch sighed deeply, knowing exactly what he wanted. She had been in front of him for weeks and she had taken on his thoughts. He couldn't function without being near her. He had never felt anything like it. ''I want someone who's kind, compassionate, understanding and just real.''

''You're trying to tell me you that you want my girlfriend. Right?''

''I guess so.''

Sean folded his arms across his chest before she was going to speak. ''You're in love with her.''

''There it is! You figured me out!'' Hotch smirked, knowing it was bothering Sean. ''Scary, isn't it?''

''You'll never get JJ. Because no matter how hard you try, you will keep driving her away until she won't come back.'' Sean started. ''Tonight was just the start, Aaron. You will never get her, I promise you.''

''I won't be so sure of yourself.'' Hotch said, rising from the couch. He walked past Sean and left him standing in the living room. He knew there still had to be a change for him and JJ. It would even be good enough for him if they were just friends. He just needed her in his life.


	20. Chapter 19

A/N: Here's another chapter!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum, Katia XD, CM Fan, Christiangirl, Splash's Writing Zone and red2013!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 19: Choices**

JJ went straight home after her conversation with Sean. And all the events from the last few weeks were finally catching up with her. The lies, the betrayals and the loss was all becoming too much for her. There were times when she wished she never met Sean or Hotch. As much as they lifted her up, they also brought drama and trouble into her life and that wasn't what she asked for. She wanted to be a normal kid in high school and not the girl who was stuck between two brother. She knew her feelings would only lead to one of them getting hurt and she wasn't prepared to make a choice. She couldn't because choosing one of them meant she would probably lose the other. And she wasn't ready to lose any more people in her life.

JJ silently sneaked into the house, but she saw that a light in the living room was on. Her aunt was sitting on the couch, her face filled with concern and worry. ''Hi,'' JJ croaked out.

Sara rose from the couch and made her towards JJ. She saw the tears streaming down her face. ''JJ, what happened?'' she asked as JJ shook her head. ''Talk to me.''

''Everything is just such a mess.'' she cried out. ''Sean found out about the car accident and he was so mad. I could see it on his face.'' she went on. ''I wanted to tell him but it didn't seem right. I didn't want him to feel bad for me or to treat me differently.''

''Come here.'' Sara said, putting her arms around JJ and holding her tightly. ''Oh sweetie.''

JJ's cries turned into soft sobs. It were moments like this, she wished her mother was around to give her advice about boys and dating. ''I don't know what to do.''

Sara pulled away and gestured JJ to sit down on the couch. She took a seat next to JJ and turned around to really face her. ''You know you can always talk to me, JJ.'' Sara started. ''I know things haven't been easy since you found out the truth on your birthday but it's my job to take care of you and I've failed at that, JJ. I just want you to talk to me when you feel like crying or yelling. I will always be here for you.''

''It just feels like everything is falling apart.'' she began, wiping away the tears. ''Aaron and I have barely spoken in weeks. He's been dating Stacy and that seems to be going bad. And then there's Sean…'' she stumbled. ''He's been so hell-bent on keeping me away from Aaron that he has barely been the same as before.''

''Does Sean have a reason to act like that?'' Sara asked.

''Maybe,'' JJ admitted. ''Aaron acts all flirty most of the time but it's not a bad thing. He's nice and he really listens to me when I talk. I just feel like he's…'' she tried to say but Sara interrupted him.

''…like he's better than people think?''

JJ looked at Sara in surprise. ''Yeah.''

''Did your mom ever tell you how I met Tom?''

''No,'' JJ replied, shaking her head. She suddenly became very curious to hear the story. ''Tell me.'' she insisted.

''I met Tom in college and he became my best friend. I was dating someone else at the time. His name was Wade and he was a dangerous good looking guy and I thought I had found the one.'' Sara explained. ''But as the months passed by I realized that Tom was the one who was always there for me no matter what happened.''

''So you broke up with Wade?''

''No, I didn't.'' she answered. ''Tom told me he fell in love with me and that he couldn't stand to see me with Wade because he was so wrong for me. I told him I loved him like a friend and nothing more, but it wasn't until he was no longer in my life that I realized the mistake I made.'' she went on. ''I broke up with Wade and I was single for two years before I ever saw Tom again. When we reunited we started dating and it was the best choice I ever made.''

Sara saw that JJ was taking in all the information at once. There was a meaning behind her story. Sara met Hotch and knew how easily a young girl like JJ would fall for a guy like that. But she also met Sean and she knew he was just a good guy who would take care of JJ no matter what. ''JJ, do you like Aaron?''

JJ sighed deeply, knowing she wanted to deny all of her feelings for him. Especially after the night she just experienced. ''I don't know.'' she replied with all honesty. ''All I know is that I feel so happy when I am around him. He's lifts me up and makes me forget all my problems.''

''The choice is yours, JJ. But you need to be sure when you make one because you will lose one of them. Just think about it for a while. Don't rush to a decision based on things that might have happened. It's best to follow your heart.''

''Thanks, Sara.'' JJ said, rising from the couch. ''I'll see you tomorrow.''

''Sleep well, JJ.'

* * *

'

JJ was walking nervously up and down the street, waiting for Stacy to arrive. She was going to tell her about Hotch. She couldn't lie to her best friend. It was going to take a lot for JJ to tell her the truth because she didn't want to hurt Hotch either, but he was the one who made the mistake.

Stacy saw JJ with her back turned towards her. She put her hands on JJ's shoulder to scare her. ''Hey!'' she called out as JJ jumped immediately.

''Stacy!'' JJ exclaimed. ''You scared the hell out of me.''

''That was the point, JJ!'' Stacy giggled as she leaned against JJ's car. ''So, what do you want to do?''

''I need to talk to you about something.'' JJ began hesitantly. ''Why don't we get something to drink?'' she said, pointing to the Starbucks across the street.

''Yeah, that would be fine.'' Stacy said, her voice suddenly filled with concern. She saw that JJ was about to cross the street when Stacy pulled JJ back by the wrist. ''JJ, what's going on?''

''There are some things I need to tell you.'' she replied sadly. ''I just didn't know where to do it.''

''Why don't we go back to your house.'' she suggested. ''It might be easier to talk there because you really have me worried right now.''

''Sure,'' JJ agreed as she walked back to her car. ''I'll see you soon.'' JJ said before she climbed in her car. She put her keys in the ignition and quickly put her seatbelt on before starting the car and driving away.

Once she was home, she parked the car in the driveway and waited for Stacy to arrive. She was only three minutes behind with her own car. JJ felt the courage disappear when her friend was catching up with her. Stacy didn't deserve any of the things that Hotch had pulled but she needed to know. If JJ were in her shoes she would want to know.

They were both silent until they finally reached JJ's room. The silence became unbearable for Stacy so she couldn't keep her mouth shut any longer. ''Just say it!''

''Last night after Aaron brought you home…'' she stumbled. ''…he came back to the club and everything was fine until I saw him kissing another girl. I'm so sorry, Stacy. I know you like him and I didn't know how to tell you this.''

Stacy sat down on the bed as JJ was pacing through her room nervously. ''I'm not surprised.''

JJ stopped in her tracks and looked at her friend intently. ''What?''

''Oh come on, JJ.'' Stacy began. ''Aaron is not the kind of guy to commit. I knew it from the beginning.''

''And you still went out with him?''

''Yes,'' she answered.

JJ sat down on the edge of the bed next to Stacy in shock. ''So you're fine with it?''

''I guess I am.''

''I wish I had known that earlier so I didn't have to be so stressed out about telling you that. I could've put more focus on the other things.'' JJ sighed out, realizing she was going to tell Stacy about her parents next.

''What other things?''

JJ opened her nightstand and pulled out a photo of her family. It was taken in the living room of her childhood home. JJ's parents were sitting on the couch as JJ and her sister, Nicole, sat in front of the couch. It was taken on the same day they died. ''This.'' JJ croaked out as she handed the picture to Stacy with shaking hands.

Stacy took the picture from JJ as she saw a tear roll down JJ's cheek. She immediately looked at the girl next to JJ. They looked exactly alike, except that JJ had piercing blue eyes and she had grey ones. Stacy didn't know what the picture meant. It had to be family of JJ. ''Who are these people?''

''They're my parents and sister.'' JJ replied with a heavy heart. ''It was taken last summer on my birthday.''

''Was this before you decided to move in with your aunt and uncle?'' Stacy asked curiously.

''I had to move in with them, Stacy.'' JJ began to explain. ''They died that day. On my birthday.'' she added, hoping Stacy wasn't going to be mad because JJ was only telling her now.

Her jaw dropped in response. ''They died? Your parents and sister?''

''Yes, in a car accident. I was the only survivor.''

''Oh god. I am so sorry.''

''Are you mad?'' JJ asked sadly.

''No, of course not. I just can't believe you had to go through that all alone.'' she replied. ''I'm really sorry, JJ.'' Stacy said as she pulled her friend into a tight hug. ''I could never be mad about that.''

''Thanks.'' JJ whispered. She couldn't stop the tears. It felt good to talk to Stacy about it. She reacted kind and like a true friend and it made her wonder if Sean would have forgiven her for keeping the secret. ''I don't know what I would do without you.''

''Tell me about them.'' Stacy said as she pulled away from JJ. ''Only if you want to of course.''

''I barely talk about it and whenever I do it hurts.'' she started. ''Nicole was my best friend. She taught me how to play soccer when I was still little and as I grew up I was always able to beat her at it.''

''Well, she taught you pretty good because you're really good.'' Stacy smiled out. ''How much older was she?''

''She was two years older than me.'' JJ answered. ''She was really amazing. We did fight from time to time and I always managed to put the blame on her. Somehow, my parents always believed me. Probably because I was younger and I took full advantage of that.''

''Sounds like you had a happy family.''

JJ nodded in response. ''I was lucky.''

''So, you used to live in East-Allegheny, right?'' Stacy asked to be sure.

''Yeah, the house is still the exact same. My aunt doesn't want to sell until I'm eighteen so I can decide what to do with it.'' JJ explained. ''I was supposed to go back there after the accident to get some of my things but I never had the courage. I'm afraid I'll break down.''

''What if I go with you?'' Stacy suggested. ''I wouldn't mind, JJ.''

''I guess that would be alright.'' she said, knowing she would rather go with Stacy than with her aunt and uncle. She knew Sara also had a hard time with it and JJ didn't want to make that worse than it already was.

''Do you want to go tomorrow?''

JJ had to really think about it before she could answer that question. ''I think that would be good for me.''

''Good. I'll drive.''

JJ knew she taking a big risk. She hadn't been back in East Allegheny since her birthday. JJ still remembered that day like yesterday. It was burned into the her mind forever. She could still remember that she insisted to go to dinner in DC so she could see her aunt and uncle. Her parents wanted to stay in East-Allegheny for her birthday and if she didn't persuade them they might still have been alive. She still felt guilty about that and she didn't know if she could ever forget the feeling because it hurt.


	21. Chapter 20

A/N: Here's another chapter. I also wanted to let you all know that I have another final in a week which means updates might come slower but I hope you all will stick around because I'll be back after that. Thanks for the amazing support!

Special thanks to jenny crum, red2013, Sophia0665, Westie80 and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 20: Memories **

The next morning JJ got up early to meet Stacy outside her house. JJ felt nervous about going back to her hometown. It was the place where she spent most of her life and she had extremely good memories of it. But it weren't just the memories that East Allegheny held for JJ. It were also the people. Her friends in high school and her neighbors. She knew almost everybody in the small community. She loved growing up there. The atmosphere was amazing and she felt safe there. She always had and now she was wondering what it would be like to go back to the place that reminded her of all the good. It made her heart long for what she used to have.

JJ was so caught up in her emotions that she didn't even notice the truck stopping in front of the house. But the sound of a hunk awoke her from her thoughts. She looked up to see Hotch's truck standing in front of her own house. She saw him sitting in it next to Stacy. He was the last person she wanted to see. She even thought she made her feelings clear to him but he didn't seem to mind because his face was covered in a wide smile. She couldn't stand to see him like that. He looked happy and she didn't know why he could act so cold. JJ made her way towards the car as Hotch stepped out of it at the same time. He walked around the car to catch up with JJ before she stepped inside.

JJ turned around to face him after she waved at Stacy. ''Why are you here?''

''Stacy thought it might be good if you and I spent some time together because she thinks we could be friends.'' he said in childish way. ''I guess she didn't know about our friendship, did she?'' he asked curiously.

''We're not friends.'' JJ said angrily. ''Sean was right about you all along. You only cause trouble around you.''

''Where is Sean by the way? I thought your boyfriend should be with you since it's such a heavy day for you. Looks like he doesn't care.''

JJ took a step closer to Hotch. ''Stay out of my life!'' she warned. ''Stacy might have forgiven you but I certainly haven't.''

''You're so hot when you talk like that.'' he whispered in her ear.

JJ immediately pulled away and stepped in the car before he could say another word to her. She tried to hate him but somehow she just couldn't. It should be easy but everything inside her fought it and she didn't know why.

* * *

It was a four hour drive before they arrived in East-Allegheny. JJ had been silent the entire time while she listened to Hotch's and Stacy's boring conversations. And when they weren't talking, they were singing to the loud music. JJ didn't say anything because she still wanted Stacy to be happy and she looked happy. But Hotch's presence was getting to her. It didn't help that he looked as handsome as always. Those thoughts made JJ feel angry with herself, but it were the facts.

She just stopped thinking about it when they drove through the town she grew up in. Everything was the same. The streets were mostly empty and the people who were on the streets looked like nothing had happened. It was as if time never stopped but for JJ it did. Being back in East-Allegheny suddenly felt like a punch to the stomach. And when they turned around the corner, she immediately stared at her former house. Her heart started racing when the car stopped. She immediately jumped from the car and walked towards the house. She opened the small gate and stepped onto the grass. She used to play soccer in the front yard every single day. Behind her she heard the doors to the car close. She didn't turn around to look where Hotch and Stacy were. She was too caught up in her emotions to notice anything around her but that was only until she heard one very familiar voice.

''JJ?'' a voice called out. ''Is that really you?''

JJ turned around and froze when she saw who it was. ''Max?'' she croaked out, her voice soft. JJ ran onto the pavement and started to run towards him. She jumped into his open arms and held onto him for dear life. She hadn't seen him in over a year. Max was her best friend growing up and even through high school they stayed best friends.

''You're here.'' he whispered as he held her tightly.

JJ pulled away, her face covered with a big smile. ''I am.'' she stumbled. ''It's so good to see you again.''

''Yeah, I missed you so much!'' he said happily. ''You just disappeared after the accident. My dad told me you went to live with Sara and Tom and that you weren't coming back.''

''I'm sorry for leaving like that. It was just too hard for me to come back here. I hope you understand.''

''Of course I do.'' he reassured. ''I just missed my best friend. I know everyone in school has missed you.''

''I missed them too.''

''So, what are you doing here?'' Max asked curiously, looking over JJ's shoulder he saw two stranger standing behind her. ''And who are those two?''

JJ turned around to see Hotch and Stacy standing with surprised looks. JJ grabbed Max's wrist and dragged him towards them. She stopped in front of them and looked at Max. ''Max, this is Stacy and Aaron.'' she introduced as they all shook hands. ''Guys, this is one of my best friends from here, Max.''

''It's nice to meet you.'' Stacy said kindly as she smiled at JJ. ''So best friends?'' she asked, teasing JJ in the process.

''This one over here was always able to beat me at soccer.'' Max joked. ''Is she still any good?''

''Oh believe me, she is.'' Stacy answered.

Max turned to JJ, realizing she looked quite happy and that gave him some peace. It was important to him that JJ was happy. ''I have to go, JJ. But call me some time. It's still the same number.''

''I will.'' JJ said kindly. ''It was good to see you, Max.''

Stacy stepped in front of, checking to see if she was alright. ''How are you feeling?'' she asked. ''We can go back whenever you want to.''

''I know. Thank you, Stacy.'' JJ said as a tear escaped her eye. ''I just feel so bad about abandoning the people who were a part of my life back then.''

''JJ, you're only seventeen. No one expects you to be responsible. That wouldn't even be fair.'' she explained, feeling her heart ache when she saw that JJ was having a really hard time. ''Do you want go inside by yourself?''

''I'm going to try.'' JJ croaked, making eye contact with Hotch. His face was suddenly filled with concern and it sparked something in her. She didn't understand why he acted so cold while he clearly cared about the people around him. ''You guys should check out the town. It's cozy.'' she suggested before she made her way back to the gate.

''Take it easy, JJ.'' Hotch said as she walked onto the front yard. ''We won't go far.''

JJ looked behind her for a fraction of a second before she turned her back towards him again. She took the keys from her pocket and mentally prepared herself to go inside. She knew memories would come flooding back and she wondered how many she was able to take. She already felt emotional after seeing Max and right now she knew her threshold for emotion was very low.


	22. Chapter 21

A/N: So yesterday I said I wouldn't update for maybe a week but I just had to put my books away to post this. I love this story so much and I love the amazing response. This is by far my favorite story I have written and I am addicted to it so that means frequent updates for all of you. I hope you all enjoy this!

Special thanks to red2013, Sophia0665, guest, CM Fan (Thank you!), jenny crum, Katia XD and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 21: My spot**

Once JJ got inside, she realized that nothing had changed. It looked exactly like the day she left. There wasn't even a spot with dust. She knew that Sara made sure that the house would be looked after but she didn't expect everything to be the exact same.

JJ put one foot in front of the other, gathering the courage to stay inside. She walked past the hallway and made her way into the small kitchen. She saw that even the newspaper from that morning was on the kitchen table. Her parents and sister always fought about who got which section. JJ herself never read the paper. She always believed it was a waste of her time because she would hear the news from people around her instead. She actually still believed in that theory. JJ felt herself choke up. It was really too much for her to handle. So she ran back to the front door and stormed out of the yard. She kept running until she dropped down in the grass in front of the small lake. It was her favorite spot. She used to go there when life got to be too much or when she just needed a break from school or soccer. In that moment she realized how much she did miss East Allegheny. It were the small things. She had an escape from reality there. It was a place where people knew one another like families and no one judged. She was lucky enough to grow up in a such a great town. She couldn't have asked for anything else.

JJ had her kneels pulled to her chest as her arms were wrapped around them. The summer breeze caused goose bumps to appear on her skin. She was about to let herself fully drop in the grass when she heard someone coming up from behind her. She knew right away that it was Hotch. He didn't know what space meant and she was about to snap at him when he started talking.

''It's beautiful out here.'' he breathed out as stopped next to her. He carefully sat down and let enough space between them. He didn't want JJ to be angrier than she already had been with him. ''It's must have been amazing to grow up here.''

JJ looked to her side for a moment and then returned her gaze to the water. ''What do you want?''

''I wanted to apologize, JJ.'' he sighed out. ''I acted like a jerk and I wished I kept my act together. I never meant to hurt you like that. You didn't deserve any of it.''

''What do you expect me to say?''

''You don't have to say anything to me. I don't even deserve your forgiveness.'' he replied sadly. ''But I wanted to see how you were holding up. I noticed earlier that you didn't look fine at all.''

''I'm fine.'' she whispered.

''JJ, talk to me.'' Hotch offered.

She shook her head softly, hoping he was going to leave. ''I can't. Sean will kill me.'' she said. ''Aaron, I just can't and that's the problem.''

''Why is that a problem?''

The tears didn't stop coming and JJ felt Hotch moving closer at the same time. The attraction was undeniable and she wished she could give into her emotions. ''I've been keeping all these secrets from everyone and now that they're out, the only person I want to talk to is you. But I can't because Sean would get so mad.'' she went on. ''Somehow you're the only person who really seems to understand me and I don't why you're the only one who gives me that feeling. It isn't right.''

Hotch wrapped his arm around JJ and pulled her closer. She immediately let her head rest on his shoulder as she stayed in his warm and welcoming embrace. ''You can come to me about anything.''

That was exactly what JJ needed to hear from him. She had one question she wanted to ask him for weeks but she didn't know how. ''What do you feel for me?''

He never expected to hear that question coming from JJ. He hoped she never noticed his lingering looks or his caring side when it came to her but he guessed the chemistry and tension said it all. Even to her. Which meant she felt something to. ''I think you already know.'' he whispered into her hair. ''As wrong as it is, I feel so comfortable around you. Things between us are just easy when no one else is involved.'' he said proudly, knowing it was rare to have that with someone because even Hotch had never experienced it before. ''It also helps that you're gorgeous, kind, funny, compassionate, warm, good, pure, innocent and you have this passion for life that surprises me more every single time I see you or hear you talk.''

It was as if he literally knocked her socks off. She felt her heart skip a beat with every adjective he added. ''Really?''

''Yeah,'' he said bluntly. ''How do you feel about me?''

She sighed deeply before answering the question. ''Sometimes I feel like I want to be more than friends, Aaron. And I hate that feeling because it isn't right. I love Sean but I also care about you…'' she stopped as she pulled away from his embrace. She was still teared up as she looked into his eyes. ''I just don't know what to say.'' she said, staring down at her hands.

''I don't need an answer, JJ.'' he said. ''I just don't want to be the one who hurts you when you do make a choice. I am not saying that you have to because I understand that Sean is good and he wouldn't intentionally hurt you but I hope we might have chance some day.''

She didn't look up or respond to him. So many emotions were going through her head and she didn't know what to say or do. All she did know was that she felt better when Hotch was near her. He gave her sanity and strength. ''Did I ever tell you that your presence gives me strength?''

''No, you haven't.'' he answered, smiling on the inside.

She finally looked into his eyes and didn't look away. ''Well, it's the truth.'' she said softly. ''And right now I am being pulled into two directions and I don't which one to choose.''

''You don't have to make a choice right now.'' he assured. He wasn't going to push her. He knew it couldn't be easy for JJ. Sean had known her longer and they seemed happy together. No matter what happened, he would never ruin her happiness. He would even give up his own so she could be happy. ''I should go back.'' he said as he rose from the ground. ''I think Stacy is waiting for me.''

''Yeah, you should go.'' she agreed. ''I'll be there in a few minutes.'' she added before Hotch made his way back.

But what they didn't know was that Stacy had seen them from a distance when she decided to look for Hotch. For the first time she realized why things between JJ and Hotch had been so difficult. There was something going on between the two of them. Stacy decided to hurry back to the car before they would see her because she didn't feel like talking about it. She felt like her best friend had betrayed her and it was like a knife in her back. She couldn't believe that JJ had been acting like a moral person when she was crushing on Stacy's boyfriend behind her back.

Hotch walked up to Stacy who was leaning with her back against the car. ''Hey.'' he greeted happily.

''Where have you been?'' she asked.

''Oh, I was just exploring the town.'' he lied easily. ''It's nice, isn't it?''

She nodded in response as she tried to hide her suspicions. ''Yeah, it's beautiful.'' she replied, seeing JJ walking onto the street. She looked emotionally drained and Stacy wished she would just talk to her. But apparently JJ had feelings she wanted to hide. It wasn't like Stacy was torn up about Hotch because she knew he was the kind of guy you only had some fun with and nothing more. But it did hurt that her best friend couldn't be honest with her.

Hotch noticed the distance in Stacy's answers and he knew something was going on. ''Is there something wrong?''

''No, I am just worried about JJ. That's all.''

JJ walked up to Hotch and Stacy. She stopped in front of them and sighed deeply. ''I think I want to go home.''

''Of course.'' Stacy said as she waited for Hotch to open the car. She immediately went inside once the doors were open and she didn't wait for JJ or Hotch.

JJ turned around to the house once more, feeling a little better knowing that she at least came back one time.

''Are you sure you're ready to go?'' Hotch asked softly.

''Yeah, I am.'' she said with content as she gave him a sweet smile. She walked back to the car and climbed in next to Stacy. She kept looking at the house as she sat in the car, waiting for Hotch to drive away. She closed her eyes and imagined she was playing soccer with Nicole in the front yard. She felt her eyes stinging as she kept reliving the memory but it was a moment in which she was always happy. As a little girl she loved to spent time with her big sister and nothing could ever take away those memories.

Then the car started and they drove off. JJ knew it was for the best to leave because it was still too hard. It was probably best to go back with Tom and Sara when they were ready for it. For now she felt good with her initial decision to go.


	23. Chapter 22

A/N: Here's another chapter! I hope everyone likes this!

Special thanks to red2013, jenny crum, Westie80, Sophia0665, Christiangirl and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 22: Make a choice**

Hotch stepped inside the house and closed the door behind him. It had been a long and exhausting day. His conversation with JJ kept hitting the replay button. He was happy that she confessed that she had some sort of feelings for him. It meant he hadn't been blind all along. They were both falling for each other in some way and that made him feel good. But there were still people standing in the way. Sean and Stacy were both a problem.

Hotch walked forward into the hallway. He turned to living room and noticed Sean sitting on the couch with his laptop. He put it away the moment Hotch joined him in the living room. ''Where are the parents?'' he asked.

''They're out. I don't know where.'' Sean replied as he rose from the ground. ''Where have you been? You've been gone all day.''

''Do you really want to know, Sean?'' Hotch asked with a teasing voice. He wished he could spill all the details of his day but he wasn't going to do it for JJ's sake. He also knew that JJ would get mad if he did.

''Where you with JJ?''

''How did you know?'' Hotch mocked. ''You're such a good guesser. I can't believe you haven't won the lottery yet. With you skills it's impossible to lose.'' he joked.

Sean closed the distance between them and the urge to punch his brother became stronger with every word. He couldn't believe that Hotch spent an entire day with JJ. ''I told you to stay away from her!''

''Apparently it's not what she wants, Sean!'' he exclaimed. ''She might even like me!'' he stated.

Sean formed a fist and punched Hotch in the eye. He immediately pulled back and hissed out in pain. He didn't expect it to hurt so much but it meant that Hotch was probably in more pain. ''Stay away from her!''

Hotch tried to open his eye but the sensation of the punch kept him from doing so. ''A warning is not going to help.''

''I love her, Aaron.''

Hotch took a step forward and stopped to really look at Sean. He wanted to let him know how serious he was. ''So do I.'' he stated. ''And if you love her so much you should stop hurting her because it seems like you're doing her more harm than good.''

''My relationship with JJ doesn't concern you.'' Sean shot back at the accusation, knowing he was right. His relationship with JJ hadn't been the same as it used to be. Everything had changed since Hotch came into town and he wondered if things would ever be normal again. He hoped they would be but he doubted it.

''She has been through too much to be treated this way, Sean. JJ doesn't deserve anymore shit in her life.'' he explained. ''If she wants you then I'll let her go and I won't bother the two of you anymore. But as long as there's hope for me, I won't walk away from her.''

Sean knew what he had to do. There weren't many options. He wasn't going to convince JJ to stay with him if she had feelings for another person. He wasn't going to persuade her. ''Fine,'' he said with annoyance as he walked out of the living room and made his way out of the house. He needed to talk to JJ before things became too complicated. Everything was already complicated since Hotch came into town but he didn't want it to be that way. He wanted to go back to the easy and relaxing side of their relationship. It existed once, so it couldn't be gone.

* * *

JJ was laying on her bed, trying to let her head rest but she couldn't stop thinking about Hotch and the conversation she had with him. She didn't fully express her feelings for him but he did do it. That alone was something she never expected from him. He always said he never committed. But was he willing to commit to her? If he wasn't, she wasn't going to take the risk. She wasn't the kind of girl to just fool around. That wasn't what she was looking for. Neither was she looking for a super serious relationship but she just needed it to be real.

The knock on her bedroom door scared her. She sat up in her bed, wondering who it was. ''Come in.'' she called out, her voice steady and irritated.

Sean peaked around the door to see JJ sitting on her bed. ''Hey,'' he greeted. ''I hope you don't mind that I am here without letting you know.''

''No, it's fine, Sean. It is.'' she assured. She watched as he made his way to the bed and he sat down next to her on the edge. ''What are you doing here?'' she wondered out loud.

''We need to talk, JJ.'' he began. ''About us.''

JJ put a strand of hair behind her ear. ''I know.''

''We both know our relationship hasn't been the same since the summer started.'' he began. ''Since Aaron came into town.'' he improved in sadness.

''I didn't stop loving you, Sean. I never did.''

''I know, JJ. I know.'' he said as he took her hand in his. ''I've been driving you away. This is all my fault. I did this.''

''What are you talking about?''

''I've been so focused with hating my brother that I lost you in the process.'' Sean whispered. ''I let you slip away from me and now I have to deal with consequences.''

JJ shook her head in disagreement. Her heart was beating a mile a minute when she realized what he was doing. ''You didn't lose me Sean. You haven't lost me. I promise you!''

''I have, JJ. You and I both know it.'' he croaked, trying to keep his composure. ''I pretty much drove you towards him.''

''What are saying to me?'' she asked but he didn't respond. ''What does this mean, Sean?''

''It means you have a choice to make.'' he replied sadly.

''What?'' she asked with concern. ''I don't have to.'' she tried to say but he caught her off.

''JJ, don't!'' he warned. ''Anyone who doesn't see what's going on between you and Aaron is blind. I know you feel something for him. And I'm not asking you to admit anything to me. I just keep driving myself crazy and it needs to stop.'' he went on. ''We keep going in circles.''

''Are we breaking-up?'' she asked as a tear rolled down her cheek. She immediately wiped it away.

He squeezed her hand gently. ''No, I don't want that.'' he started. ''But I can't be in a relationship with you when you wonder what it might be like to be with my brother.''

''Sean, I don't know what to say…''

''You don't have to say anything. You just have to make a choice.'' he repeated. ''Take all the time you need, JJ. Don't rush this. That won't be right.''

JJ sat on her bed in silence as Sean retreated back to the door and left her all alone. She felt utterly alone and she couldn't believe what was happening. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to make a choice. Her heart was completely torn. How could she ever choose one of them and lose the other?


	24. Chapter 23

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope everyone likes this!

Special thanks to jenny crum, Sophia0665, red2013, CM Fan, Westie80 and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 23: The message**

Stacy sat back in the chair as the words kept echoing through her head. I want to break up. That's all he said. He didn't give her any implication that he didn't want to be with her anymore or did he even try. He did absolutely nothing to tell her that he didn't want to be with her. The anger was gathering inside as she tried to stay calm. She knew exactly why this was happening. She had seen it with her own eyes in East-Allegheny.

''What did I do, Aaron?'' she asked, hoping he would give a real hint. ''I knew you kissed another girl and I let it slide, but where is this coming from?''

Hotch stopped in front of her, knowing this wasn't supposed to be easy. But he had to do this to show JJ that he was really committed to her. It would make the choice for her easier. ''It's not you, it's me.'' he breathed out.

''Seriously?'' Stacy asked angrily. ''You're giving me that answer.''

''What else do you want me to say?''

''Just tell me the truth!''

''I don't what you're talking about.'' he said, denying the one thing Stacy knew. But he didn't know what she had seen in East-Allegheny. He was too focused on JJ to know what Stacy saw. He saw the look on her face turn angrier than before. ''What?''

''You're really going to lie to my face, aren't you?'' she snapped. ''I think you should go. I don't want to do this.''

''Stacy I told you from the beginning that I wasn't the type of person to commit. I just don't understand what the problem is.'' he said calmly. This was the reason why he hated to date girls younger than him. Although he didn't think it would be a problem with JJ. She always seemed mature and more reserved.

''The problems is JJ!'' she revealed, noticing no change on Hotch's face. ''I saw you with her in East-Allegheny. I saw the way you look at her. You're in love with her, aren't you?''

''I don't know.''

Stacy could see the look on his face and she knew what he felt. He just didn't know it himself. But he would eventually figure it out. ''I thought so.'' she said.

Hotch walked back to the door and turned around one more time. ''I'm really sorry, Stacy.'' he apologized sincerely.

She didn't say a word as she watched him walk out of her room. She literally had no words to describe her feelings. She didn't even know who she had to be mad at or if she even had the right to be mad. But there was one thing she did know. Hotch was in love with JJ and it wasn't just a fling like he had with her. It was real because when he talked about JJ she could see it in his eyes and she knew that was extremely rare for him.

* * *

JJ took another zip of her coke. She and Stacy decided to go shopping the entire day and they ended up getting a drink. JJ noticed that Stacy hadn't been herself the whole day. Something didn't seem right.

''What's going on?'' JJ finally asked, hoping to break the tension and awkwardness. ''You're not yourself, Stacy.''

''I'm fine, JJ. I am just not feeling great today and I don't want to talk about it.'' Stacy replied as she shifted in her chair. She felt JJ staring at her. ''Fine! Aaron ended things today.''

''What?'' JJ asked in astonishment. That was the last thing she ever expected to hear from her friend. ''What happened?''

''Oh come on, JJ. I think you know exactly why he broke up with me.''

''What are you talking about?''

Stacy shook her head as she tried to fight her emotions. ''He's in love with you, JJ.''

''No, he's not.'' she contradicted immediately.

''He pretty much admitted it to me this morning.'' Stacy stated firmly. ''You just don't get it. Do you? Don't you see it?''

''See what?''

''You're everyone's first choice.''

JJ rose from the chair in anger. She dropped a bill on the table before she walked away from Stacy. She wasn't going to sit by and let her friend talk about her like that. She couldn't take it. She couldn't hear it. She already had too much conflict in her life to let more in. She wasn't about to let it happen willingly.

JJ was about to step into her car when she heard Stacy closing in on her. JJ didn't want to listen. She was angry and hurt, even though Stacy was possibly telling the truth. ''What?'' she said, whirling around in anger.

''I didn't mean to snap at you…'' she tried to say but she stopped in the middle of her sentence.

''I have no idea why Aaron broke up with you, Stacy. It didn't come from me.'' JJ began. ''Yes, we have grown close but he never told me he was in love with me. It never happened. Nothing has happened!''

''I believe you.''

''I have to go, Stacy.'' she said. ''I need space and…''

''JJ, are you alright?''

JJ shook her head. ''No, but I haven't been alright since my family died. My life is too messed up to answer that questions with a yes.'' she answered with pain in her voice. ''If I hurt you I am sorry, Stacy. I didn't mean it and I am sorry for walking out on you the way I just did.''

''It's fine.'' she assured instantly, knowing JJ was confused and angry at once. She was worried about her best friend. It seemed like JJ was changing and not in good ways. ''Go home.'' she insisted.

JJ turned around and stepped into her car without a doubt. She put her purse on the passenger's seat and pulled out her phone to check if she had any messages. She immediately noticed the missed call from Hotch. She noticed she had a voicemail, so she immediately picked up the phone and put it to her ear.

_Hey…JJ, I uhh…I don't know what to say right now, but I just wanted to call you because Stacy thinks there's something going on between us and I didn't deny it. I didn't want to lie to her but I also wanted to stop denying what I truly feel for you. Look…I…I know nothing has happened yet and I don't know if it ever will but I just wanted to warn you. I don't want to ruin your friendship with your best friend. Well, I hope I'll see you. Have a nice day, gorgeous. I miss you already._

His voice and they way he talked did it for her. It was like he poured his heart out into such a simple message and he was able to get to her. Deep down JJ knew Hotch could mean more trouble in her life. He had caused more drama in her life ever since he showed up but she would never change it because she had found an amazing friend in him and maybe even more. She hoped for more. So she started her car and drove off to the address of his new apartment he had given her. She couldn't wait any longer. She had made up her mind and she was going for what she wanted the most.


	25. Chapter 24

A/N: Here's the next one. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, jenny crum, CM Fan, red2013, Westie80, Christiangirl and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 24: Heartache**

JJ stopped in front of the door to the apartment. She was in the right place and all she had to do was knock on the door. She was a knock away from going for what she wanted and with every second that passed, she was even more sure about her decision.

So she finally knocked on the door and she heard footsteps on the other side. She sighed out in happiness, knowing Hotch was home.

''I'm coming.'' Hotch called out as he made his way to the door. He had no idea who was coming by his apartment. There were only a few people who knew where he lived and he had no idea who could be showing up. He opened the door to see the pretty blonde standing on the other side. He immediately felt his heart racing in his chest. She was wearing shorts and a simple black tank top and she still looked beautiful. ''JJ?'' he whispered.

''Can I come in?'' she asked, her voice filled with longing. She walked past him after he stepped aside. She looked around the apartment and it was exactly what she imagined it to look like. It was simple but it was everything someone needed. It fitted Hotch perfectly. She smiled once she looked at him. His eyes always told her what he felt. The rest of his face was like a mask to her. She had gotten to know his sensitive side.

''Do you like it?'' he asked as he watched walking around the apartment. His eyes were glued on her. But every now and then he let his eyes wonder across her body.

She turned around and walked towards him. She stopped right in front of him. ''It's perfect.'' She said, biting her lip in the process. ''I got your call.''

''You did?'' he asked as he took a step forward. Their bodies were almost touching. ''You didn't have to come all this way to tell me that.'' he whispered. ''You could've called me back.''

''I…'' she said but she was stopped when she felt his hands on her hips. He traced one of his hands upwards along her side. The gentleness of the touch was sensational and she felt her knees going week. ''…I…I…know.'' she whispered.

He pulled his hand away and started to lean closer to her. He felt the warmth of her body melting into his own as he put one hand on her waist and the other cupped her cheek. ''So why are you here?'' he whispered when their lips almost touched. He kept lingering just in front of her to let her decide what to do.

She was getting sick of his teasing. She knew exactly what he was trying to pull but she couldn't wait. The tension was unbearable. So she did the only thing she wanted to do. Her lips crashed onto his immediately and she melted away when she felt him deepening the kiss. All her worries in the world disappeared and she could only focus on him. It was perfect.

Hotch groaned into the kiss as he lifted JJ from the ground. He felt her legs wrapped around him as he turned to the wall and pushed her against it. This kiss wasn't like any he had before. It was heated and passionate but sweet and loving at the same time. He could feel his body responding to her movements against him and he knew he couldn't take this too far. But as he felt their tongues intertwining, he didn't know how much control he could keep. One of his hands was in her long hair as the other was on her side. He struggled with himself, trying to stay in control as he felt JJ becoming more dominant in the kiss.

JJ moaned once she felt his lips move to her neck. Her hands moved from his hair to his chest as she admired the muscles she felt beneath her fingers. He was strong and that made her feel safe. She felt his kisses move down her neck all the way to her chest, but he stopped at her top. She cupped his face and moved her lips against his once more. With every movement she felt the heat in her body rise. She had never felt so alive before. His kisses made her fly so high, she still couldn't believe it was possible. Kissing Sean was good, great even. But kissing Hotch was fantastic, breathtaking and groundbreaking. It was more than she ever imagined it to be.

Hotch got so lost in JJ that he didn't even try to stop her from unzipping his pants. But when her hands were moving down again, he finally snapped back into reality. He couldn't do it like this. He wanted their first time to be in a way JJ deserved. So he pulled away and put JJ back on the ground. He zipped his jeans and straightened himself up. ''We need to stop for a moment.'' he said huskily.

''Why?'' she asked, hoping she didn't do anything wrong. ''Did I do something?''

''Oh god no, JJ. What just happened was amazing but there's so much we need to talk about before we go that far.'' he explained. He wished he didn't have to stop but he couldn't do it to JJ. Eventually he did it for her.

She put a strand of hair behind her ear, knowing what he wanted to talk about. ''Sean asked me to make a choice, Aaron.''

''He did?''

''Yes,'' she replied with a smile on her face. ''I want you, Aaron. I choose you.'' she said as she walked towards him. She gave him a kiss on the lips and she felt him respond instantly.

Those were the words he wanted to hear. She just told him everything he wanted. But deep down he wondered if it was the best. He was afraid that being with her wouldn't be the right thing for her even though it was what he wanted. In every other situation he would've gone for it without thinking about the consequences. He was always selfish but he couldn't be when it came to JJ. He had to think about her.

He pulled her hands down and took a step backwards. He let go of her hands and he immediately saw the change of expression on her face. ''It's not right, JJ.''

''What do you mean?''

''I am selfish! I am the guy that does everything he wants. I don't care about other people.'' he responded with pain in his voice. He saw JJ retreating back when she realized what he was doing. ''But I can't be selfish when it comes to you.''

''Why not?'' she asked with hurt.

He sighed deeply before answering her question. ''Because I love you.'' he confessed. ''I've already brought trouble into your life and I can't keep doing that. I can't be selfish with you because I love you.''

Those three words caused the tears to form in her eyes. ''I can't believe you.'' she mumbled.

''Sean is the better guy, JJ. You deserve someone like him.''

''But I want to be with you.''

''I can't.'' he said as he walked towards the door. He put his hand on the knob and doubted when he looked at her. But he knew he was sparing her the pain that could eventually come. The pain she felt now wouldn't compare to what she could possibly feel in the future.

''Aaron!'' she pleaded as she kept standing in the same spot. The tears were now streaming down her face.

''I'm doing this for you.'' he whispered.

JJ shook her head fiercely. ''No, you're not because this isn't what I want. My life was bad enough before you came into it. Being with you wouldn't change anything.'' she said, trying to convince him.

''It's hard to understand…'' he tried to say but JJ interrupted him.

''What's there to understand?'' she yelled out. ''You either want to be with me or not.''

''I'm doing this for you!'' he repeated. ''It's the best, JJ.''

''This is not for me!'' she said as she finally walked to the door. There seemed to be no way to convince him. ''But I will figure out what you're hiding.'' she said before walking out of the apartment. She slowly made her way back to the car. Once she was inside she broke down completely. The tears kept coming and nothing could stop it.

Hotch watched JJ from his window. He could see her crying in the car and he felt his heart break into a thousand tiny pieces. But it was the best. He was sparing her more pain by doing what he did. He just hoped he could live with his choice one day.


	26. Chapter 25

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you guys won't hate me for this one, but I guess the last one was bad enough.

Special thanks to Christiangirl, Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum, Katia XD, red2013 and Splash's Writing Zone (I listened to the song once I read the review and it did fit the last chapter! Thanks for sharing the song.)!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 25: The wrong kind of comfort**

JJ had been driving around aimlessly through town as her heart was shattered into a million pieces. She made a choice and it got thrown back into her face. Right now she started to think that her time with Hotch was all a lie and that he just messed around with her. Maybe Sean was right all along. Maybe her intuition had been so wrong that she got fooled into thinking that Hotch could be a different person. There couldn't be another option. She was finally willing to be with him and he just shot her down. It wasn't right. He even kissed her back. He even told her he loved her. That had to mean something. It couldn't just be a joke. But JJ didn't know what to think. Her emotions were all over the place and her feelings were unbearable. She no longer knew what she felt anymore.

It took JJ another forty minutes before she finally arrived home. As always the house was empty. Her uncle's work as an detective caused him to be home very little and her aunt worked as a nurse which also was a demanding job. JJ liked to have the house to herself most of the time. But this time she wished she had someone to talk to. Anyone would be good enough. She just needed to vent and let her frustrations go. So she dialed the only number that seemed to be right. Once she heard the voice on the other end, she knew she made the right choice.

* * *

About an hour later she heard the knock on the door. She looked into the mirror and she saw her eyes were still red from the crying. Her face was pale and she looked drained from all her energy. But she still made her way to the door and opened it slowly. ''Hey!'' she whispered as she looked at Sean. His face immediately changed when he really looked at her.

''What happened?'' he asked, cupping her face. He affectionately moved his hands towards her shoulders. He saw the tears appearing in her eyes. It seemed really bad. ''JJ, tell me.'' he whispered as he pulled her against his chest.

The warmth of his embrace managed to calm her down. She felt his hand on her back while the other was in her hair. She felt safe around him. She always felt safe around Sean. He was good and he would never intentionally hurt her. ''I am so sorry.'' she croaked out. ''I'm so sorry.'' she repeated as she pulled away.

He had no idea what she was apologizing for. ''Don't be. You didn't do anything.''

''I hurt you, Sean.'' she said, feeling miserable. She needed to forget her troubles. She wished she could forget who she was and what was happening in her life because everything was falling apart. ''I wasn't a good girlfriend and I don't deserve you. I never have.''

Sean closed the door behind him and stepped closer towards JJ. He took her hands in his and squeezed them softly. ''Don't say that. Don't ever say that.'' he said gently. ''Why would you think that?''

''I am not good enough.'' she cried out. ''He didn't want me.''

Sean suddenly realized what this was all about. He knew Hotch did exactly what he expected him to do. ''What did he do?''

''He dumped me before anything even started.'' she explained as she looked into his eyes. They were filled with rage and she hoped his anger wasn't projected at her. ''You were right, Sean. I'm so stupid that I never listened to a word you said.''

''It's not your fault. It's just how he works, JJ. None of this is your fault. You have to believe me.'' he whispered as he pulled her into another hug. He held her tightly as her body trembled in his arms. He couldn't believe that Hotch actually did that to JJ. It only gave Sean the urge to hurt him badly. It was all he wanted to do. ''Everything is going to be okay.''

''I made the biggest mistake of my life.'' she stumbled sadly. ''Can you forgive me?''

He pulled back to look into her eyes. He wanted her to know he wasn't mad. ''I'm not even mad at you, JJ. I could never be mad at you because I love you.''

''I love you too.''

''Good.'' he said as he leaned towards her. He claimed her lips in a searing kiss. He finally pulled away to catch his breath, trying to remind himself that JJ was very emotional. ''Do you want to go to your room?''

JJ walked up the stairs as Sean followed her into her room. She closed the door to the bedroom behind them. She leaned against it and waited for Sean to say something. JJ herself had no idea what to say. The entire situation was confusing and dramatic. As much as she wanted to be with Hotch, Sean still was able to calm her down and in that moment she forgot all the reasons why she wanted to be with Hotch and not Sean. Maybe her mind did it on purpose because she was emotional and that moment knocked all the sense out of her.

''What are you thinking about?'' Sean asked with concern in his voice.

JJ stepped forward and stopped right in front of him. ''This. Right here.'' she said sadly. ''Us.'' she admitted.

''What about us?''

JJ didn't take time to answer his question. Instead, she put her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. She felt herself forget all of her troubles as their lips molded together perfectly. The world faded away as she got lost in his touch. But deep down that kiss was nothing compared to the kiss she had with Hotch. It was good but it wasn't breathtaking. It wasn't that earth shattering kiss she had before. Sean just wasn't Aaron Hotchner. But she forced herself to forget all about him because he rejected her earlier and it was all she could do in that moment.

Sean put his hands on her waist, knowing where their activities were leading and he didn't mind it for one second. He wanted to be with JJ. He loved her and he was glad that his brother rejected JJ because now he was able to be with her. Nothing was standing in their way and he was going to take full advantage of that. Why wouldn't he?

He felt JJ dropping down to the bed as he hovered above her. He leaned down and gently kissed her neck. ''Are you sure about this?'' he asked for reassurance.

''Yeah, I am.'' she stated simply but deep down she was hesitant about everything. But she loved Sean. But she knew she wasn't in love with him anymore. And she knew very well there was difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.

In the next few minutes clothes were rid quickly and JJ barely registered what was going on. And when they became one she felt pain but it wasn't as bad as people described it to be. Sean was careful and he asked for her reassurance which made her heart melt a little. But the events seemed to be miles away. She didn't feel any kind of emotion as it was happening and that killed her inside. She didn't want her first time to be like that but she couldn't go back.

JJ moved away from Sean after he collapsed next to her. She grabbed his t-shirt from the floor and quickly put it on to cover herself up. She felt a hand on her shoulder which caused her to jump. She turned around to see Sean's face filled with concern.

''Are you alright?'' he asked affectionately.

''Yeah,'' she stumbled. ''I am going to get something to drink. Do you want something?''

''No, thanks.'' he said as he crawled under the covers. He watched JJ walk out of the room as he felt the happiness surround him. He felt pride and love at once. But it was mostly the pride because he got what Hotch wanted from JJ. He got there first and he didn't mind it at all.


	27. Chapter 26

A/N: Here's another chapter. The drama keeps coming. So I hope you guys don't mind! Let me know when it's too much.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Splash's Writing Zone, jenny crum, CM Fan, Katia XD, Westie80 and Christiangirl!

And I want to say that I love you all so much for reviewing this story. I love that I have a group of people that keeps coming back to this story. I know I have said this before, but it means the world to me!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 26: Too late**

JJ was leaning against the counter in the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand. Her mind was racing like crazy and she didn't know what to think anymore. Everything seemed so wrong and she wished she could go back in time and be back with her family. The people who always gave her advice when she needed it. And now she needed that more than anything. She knew her father would've kicked Sean's ass and her mother would have loved him because he was always kind and gentle around her. But JJ was doubting if Sean was truly what she thought he was. But in the end he helped her through life and that had to count for something. He helped her get through the worst time of her life when he didn't even know it. JJ hadn't been fair to Sean and he hadn't been fair to her. They both made mistakes in the past and she knew they could move past them if they tried and gave it their everything.

JJ put her glass on the counter when the doorbell rang. She had no idea who would stop by. No one was invited. So she just walked to the door and opened it without looking through the peephole. And when she looked up at the person in front of her she felt the wind knock her out. The anger and hurt came rushing back to the surface. She looked into Hotch's eyes as she tried to close the door in his face but he held it opened with his hand. JJ took a step back and kept the door open.

Hotch finally noticed her clothing. Mostly because she was only wearing a shirt that just covered her thighs. He immediately noticed that it was Sean's shirt. He had seen him in it earlier. And his thought instantly went to a place where he didn't want to think about but he knew it had to be true because of her appearance. ''Can we please talk, JJ?''

''I don't have anything to say to you.'' she snapped. ''I don't want to see you!''

''Did you…? Did you and…and…Sean…?'' he stumbled, knowing they did sleep together. It was all over her face. And he knew JJ pretty well.

''You're too late, Aaron.'' she mustered, knowing it was all she could say. ''And I don't have to answer that question.''

''God, JJ I didn't want this to happen. I didn't mean to drive you into Sean's arms like that.''

''Then why did you do it?'' she asked. ''Why? After everything we have been through together. After I made a choice when you asked me to.''

''Because I do love you, JJ. I really do.'' he answered. ''But there are still so many things unresolved in my life and I am afraid that I will only hurt you when you find out the secrets I keep. And I keep them for reasons. I really do, JJ.'' he tried to explain but JJ shook her head as he kept talking. He knew she had no real reason to believe him at all but he hoped that that would change one day.

''Then explain them to me. Be honest with me. You owe me that much and you know it.'' she said angrily, hoping Sean didn't hear them. ''I can't do this.'' she added as a tear escaped her eye.

''Can you forgive me? Ever?'' he asked

''No, I can't.'' she answered simply. ''You were right. Our feelings just don't matter. We have tried and it didn't work. It is simple. We can't be friends or more. This is it. It is over, Aaron.''

''JJ, please!'' he pleaded and he suddenly noticed that Sean appeared behind JJ and he felt his heart sink into his shoes. ''Sean?''

''What are you doing here?'' Sean asked angrily.

''I am here to talk to, JJ.''

''JJ, you should go upstairs.'' Sean suggested and JJ disappeared into the house. He didn't want to talk to Hotch anymore than JJ did. Hotch had clearly hurt JJ and Sean couldn't stand to see JJ like that. She deserved so much more than that, especially after the amount of time they spent together. ''How could you?'' Sean asked angrily. ''How could you tell her that she wasn't good enough for you?''

''What?'' Hotch yelled. ''I never said that to JJ. I never did. I wouldn't, Sean. Never!'' he tried to say but Sean didn't seem to want to listen. He looked the other way the entire time.

''You're a piece of shit!'' Sean called out angrily as he took a step backwards.

''I am? Really, Sean?'' Hotch asked, staying calm for his own sake. He knew Sean easily exploded. It was one of the things he had from their dad and it wasn't the best quality. ''From where I am standing you're a piece of shit. You slept with her didn't you?''

''What? Are you jealous?'' he teased. ''Are you mad that the mighty Aaron Hotchner didn't get the girl for once! I won this one, Aaron.''

Hotch felt like beating Sean until he couldn't talk. The words coming from his mouth were disrespectful to JJ. ''JJ's not a consolation price, Sean.''

''You're just jealous that you didn't get there first.''

''Is that what you think? Are you so insane to think that about me? God, Sean! What did mom and dad do to you?'' he said. ''You claim to be better than me but the way I see it you're even worse. I let JJ go because I thought you were better for her but now I see the enormous mistake I made by letting her go.'' he yelled out angrily. ''You just slept with her to beat me. You took advantage of her and you know it. This isn't a game, Sean. Not to me. Not when it's about JJ. I truly love her and I can't believe you did that to her.''

Sean barely registered his words. To him it sounded like insane rambling. ''You're just jealous.'' he repeated. ''She was amazing, Aaron!'' he said happily and at that moment Hotch's face filled with anger.

''You don't want to go down this road!'' Hotch warned, trying to stay calm. It was getting very hard and he wished JJ could hear him talking because she would immediately know that Sean wasn't as good as she thought he was. ''You shouldn't treat JJ this way.''

''Why not?'' he asked angrily. ''After everything she did with you behind my back. I have every right to do whatever I want and in the end I do love her, Aaron. I love her and I want us to go back to the way we used to be. Before you came into our lives!''

''She won't be with you when she finds out why you slept with her.'' he said. ''You know how much it meant to JJ and you just took that away from her.''

''So you wanted to be her first? Is that what this is all about, Aaron?''

Hotch immediately shook his head. Sean was turning everything around. ''I would've waited until she was ready because that is what she deserves.'' he began. He knew JJ. He knew who she was and he also knew she had certain values and morals and Sean broke almost everything JJ believed in. ''JJ is special, Sean. She isn't like every girl that walks down the street.''

''Yeah, you should know.''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''You've been with so many girls that JJ has to be special to you because you usually go for the cheerleader type.'' he mocked. ''It's no wonder that JJ stands out to you.''

''Take that back!'' Hotch threatened.

Sean took a step forward to let him know he wasn't scared. ''You should go. You have no reason to come here anymore. You ruined everything with JJ for good this time.'' he smiled out. ''Thanks for that by the way.'' he said, turning his back to Hotch and walking inside the house. He closed the door behind him, leaving Hotch all alone outside.

Hotch felt like running inside and telling JJ everything about his conversation with Sean. But it was no longer up to him. JJ apparently made a choice when she decided to sleep with Sean and Hotch didn't know if he would ever understand that choice because one moment she wanted him and the next she was willing to give Sean what she valued so much. But on the other hand Hotch knew JJ had to have been emotional so there was no real reason for him to judge her. But his jealousy and anger was clouding his judgment more than anything.


	28. Chapter 27

A/N: The first secret is out! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Special thanks to Splash's Writing Zone, CM Fan, red2013, Sophia0665, jenny crum, Katia XD, Westie80 and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 27: Family drama**

_**One week later…**_

JJ walked down the stairs at the Hotchner residence. She had been spending the entire day with Sean and it was time to go home for dinner. Sara asked her to come home earlier because she wanted to eat together. It had been a long time since that happened and JJ was pretty excited about it. She really needed to spent some time with the family she had left. She used to be surrounded by her parents and sister almost every time during the day and the quietness often made her feel lonely. But she knew her aunt and uncle had jobs that were important to them and JJ didn't want to interfere in their lives. She was thankful enough that they wanted her to live with them. She knew her aunt was thinking about starting a family any time soon.

JJ was about to open the door when it was opened by someone from the outside. She immediately took a step back. The anger hit her when she saw Hotch standing in the doorway. He had a sad look on his face but she just didn't care anymore. He could look like whatever he wanted. She wasn't going to worry about him anymore. So she just walked past him but she was stopped when he took a hold on her arms.

Hotch kept his grip on JJ's arm until she finally turned around in anger. He gently let go of her arm. ''You're ignoring me.'' he stated.

''What do you want me to say, Aaron?'' she asked, keeping enough distance between them. ''I have every right to ignore you.'' she said, turning around and storming out of the house. She didn't want to hear any kind of explanation. She was sick and tired of hearing them.

Hotch followed JJ out onto the front yard and he blocked her path after he caught up with her. ''Hear me out, please!'' he begged.

''I can't be near you, Aaron because it hurts. Talking right now is killing me.'' she said in tears.

He could feel every ounce of pain in her voice and it made him crumble inside. The last thing he wanted was for JJ to feel so much pain. ''If I had known what was going to happen between you and Sean, I would never have let you go, JJ. He took advantage of you and it's all my fault.'' he spoke out and the sigh coming from JJ stopped him from saying another word.

''Is that what you think?'' she asked. ''That Sean took advantage of me? First of all, my sex life is none of your business. And second of all, I wanted it to happen.''

''Then why did you choose me first? What made you do that, JJ?'' he asked with hurt. ''There has to be a reason.''

She shrugged her shoulders like she no longer cared about him but she still did. She knew it. The chills and sparks were still there. ''Don't dwell on the past, Aaron. I made a mistake when I choose you. Sean has always been good to me and we've decided to give it another try because we love each other.'' she went on. ''I don't regret what happened.''

''I know you're lying to me, JJ. And Sean did take advantage of you!'' he yelled. ''You don't even see it, do you?''

''Why would I even believe you?''

He took a step closer towards JJ. He stopped right in front of her. He looked into her big blue eyes and he stared at her intensely. He knew she still felt something or else she would've looked away. ''Because you know me, JJ. You're the only person who really knows who I am and I need you to believe me when I saw that I do love you.''

''How am I ever supposed to trust if you're not willing to share your past with me?'' she asked, the tears still threatening to fall. She had no idea what to say to him. There wasn't much she expected from him. Her trust in Hotch had completely faded away after what he pulled a week earlier. And now he was saying that Sean had the wrong intentions with her. She didn't know what to believe anymore. ''Tell me! If you want me to trust you, than tell me!'' she repeated. ''What made Aaron Hotchner so cold?''

He sighed deeply, not knowing what to do. He was afraid. He was afraid of everything. But most of all he was afraid of losing the girl in front of him. He had seen enough bad things in his life to know that JJ made everything better for him. ''Fine, but know that I'm doing this for you. Only for you.'' he whispered. ''What did Sean tell you about the reason I left?''

She immediately thought about her talk with Sean right after she met Hotch. Sean was angry because she talked to Hotch and he explained why he didn't want JJ near Hotch. Ever. ''Sean told me you almost killed your dad. That you put in him in the hospital after a beating.''

''And that's true.'' he admitted. ''But what Sean never told you is that I did it to protect my mother, JJ.'' he began. He immediately saw the question marks on her face. He was really going to tell her part of his story. ''I had a great childhood until I turned fourteen. My dad started drinking a lot more than before and I always wondered why. My mom said it was because he was losing his company.'' he went on.

''What does this have anything to do with you leaving?''

''Just let me finish.'' he said. ''My dad became a drunk, JJ. I saw him deteriorating right in front of my eyes and it was tearing apart my mom. So she decided to get him into a treatment program. He became sober after four months.'' he said, sighing deeply before continuing. ''And that's when it started.'' he stated, his voice filled with pain and agony. ''He started to beat my mom as an outlet for his emotions and as I got older he beat me to. I only knew what was happening when I turned seventeen. One day I just noticed the bruises on my mom's face and I realized what had been going on.''

The pieces finally started to fall into place and JJ couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt like hugging Hotch tightly and comforting him but she needed to keep her distance. But his hurt was all over his face. ''I am so sorry, Aaron.'' she exclaimed.

''And that night I was going to bed. It was the night before my high school graduation and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I didn't have anything planned.'' he began. ''Well, that night I heard my mom's cries coming from the master bedroom. So I decided to check on her and I saw my father beating her severely. My mom was ducked in the corner and he just kept beating her. That was the last straw for me and I finally decided to do something because I had seen him hurting my mother so many times that it finally got to be too much.'' he confessed. ''I pushed my dad away from my mother and he started to beat me too but I was able to defend myself. I was able to overpower him and when it started it seemed like I just couldn't stop and I lost control. It was in that exact moment that Sean came walking into the room.''

''He saw you beating your father?'' JJ asked with fear in her voice. ''But he had no idea that you tried to protect your mom.''

''Sean was only thirteen years old. He didn't understand any of it.'' he explained. ''I know I went too far that night. I lost control when I shouldn't have.''

''But you did it to save your mom. How can you feel guilty about that? And why did your mother never leave your dad?''

He shook his head. ''I don't know. The police came to the hospital to check on the situation and my mother told him that my father accidentally fell down the stairs. The police believed her after she made up the entire story.'' he started. ''After my father was released from the hospital he came back home and everything returned to normal, except that he ordered me to leave. My mom stood by and didn't do anything. And I guess that over the years she never told Sean the truth. And I understand why he hates me. He saw me beating our dad but I can't believe my mother never had the guts to tell him.''

''But why did you come back?'' she asked, her voice trembling. ''Why?''

''That's just another boring part I won't bother you with, JJ.''

''I don't know what to say, Aaron. Just that I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that alone.'' JJ whispered.

''You didn't do anything.'' he said kindly. ''Do you think we can ever be friends again? Can you forgive me, JJ?'' he asked. ''I haven't lost you, have I?''

''I don't know.'' she admitted. And she really didn't know. She didn't know what to think or feel anymore. Everything was so messed up. ''It's too hard right now.'' she said. ''Thank you for being honest with me!''

''Just think about it.'' he said, touching her arms gently before he turned around to make his way into the house.

JJ watched Hotch walk away and it that moment she felt like telling Sean the truth. He had a wrong picture about his brother and Hotch deserved to be treated right by his own family. But JJ knew he would feel betrayed if she took that step. So she just turned around to her car to go home and have dinner with her family, knowing she was lucky to have her aunt and uncle.


	29. Chapter 28

A/N: This chapter was hard for me to write. I hope you all like this!

Special thanks Sophia0665, Westie80, Christiangirl, jenny crum, Splash's Writing Zone, Katia XD and red2013!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 28: Breakdown**

JJ had barely slept through the night. Her thoughts kept going back to Hotch and everything he had been through when he was younger. She hadn't been able to shake those feelings. She also couldn't stop thinking about the emotions she saw in his face when he told her about everything he went through with his family. She still couldn't believe it. She couldn't even imagine her own family to be like that. JJ might have lost her family but when they were around she was happy. They were happy and she lived a good childhood. Hotch on the other hand had experienced pain when he was so young. She had no idea what she could do about it. She couldn't talk to anyone because she wanted to keep his secret. The last thing she wanted was to betray his trust. There were too many people in his life who had betrayed and she wasn't going to be one them. Not by choice.

JJ was about to walk into the living room when the doorbell rang. She jumped slightly at the sound because she wasn't expecting anybody. She never had so many visitors when she lived with her parents and sister. It seemed like DC was the busiest place on earth. JJ opened the door to see Hotch standing on the other side. He always came by unannounced so she was always surprised to see him. Not that it was a bad surprise. ''Aaron?'' she said. She didn't even give him a greeting. ''Oh, sorry. Hey!'' she added quickly.

Hotch noticed the blush on her face and it made his heart melt. ''Hey, JJ.'' he said affectionately. ''I was hoping we could talk.''

JJ was immediately conscious about the way she was dressed. She was wearing a grey oversized shirt with black shorts. ''I wasn't expecting anyone.'' she said defensively when she noticed his devilish grin appear. ''Come in.''

''Thanks,'' he said softly as he passed her by. It was the second time he was inside her house and this time he could really check it out. The first time wasn't exactly under the right set of circumstances. Hotch wandered into the living room where he noticed a picture of JJ and three strange people. He knew it had to be her family. ''Your parents and sister?'' he asked pointing at the photo.

JJ followed him into the living, wondering what he was doing in her house. She had no idea what he wanted to talk about. She didn't exactly mind his presence but it still hurt to be near him after what he did to her. She wasn't going to forget it any time soon. ''Yeah, that's my family.'' she replied sadly, bringing her hands together and squeezing them firmly.

''You look really happy, JJ.'' he said, smiling widely as he took in the big smile JJ had in the picture. She looked amazingly happy there. And even Hotch had to admit that he had never seen her like that. ''I hope you can feel that way again one day.''

''Why are you here, Aaron?'' she asked to stop him from changing the subject. She wasn't in for a game. It was the last thing she wanted to do.

''I came by because I want to know if we can be friends.'' he explained. ''I need you to answer my question from yesterday. So, have I lost you?''

''Aaron…'' she whispered.

''Have I?''

''I can't be near you and not be with you.'' she admitted. ''It's too hard. So the answer is yes. You have lost me.'' she said as she started to choke up. It was the last thing she wanted to do but it was best for her. Probably for both of them.

''I didn't mean to hurt you, JJ. I thought it would be best for you and it all just backfired.''

''What else did you expect to happen, Aaron?'' she asked with anger in her voice. She dropped down in a chair and looked at him intently. His gaze was steady and filled with longing. ''Because you did hurt me. You hurt me really bad.''

''I'm really sorry.''

''It's not enough. It never will be.'' JJ said. ''I understand that you never wanted to hurt me in the first place. I get it.'' she went on. ''And I won't tell anyone what you told me yesterday. But I can't be with you, Aaron. I just can't. It's too hard. I am sorry.''

He was speechless. A part of him expected this to happen but every ounce inside of him wanted there to be different outcome. He wanted JJ in his life, but she didn't want him in his life.

''It's hard for me, Aaron. I…I…'' she stumbled as her eyes became watery. She rose from the chair and approached him slowly. She stopped inches away from him, their bodies almost touching. ''I just need some time away from you. Time away from the all the drama.'' she went on. ''I need to figure out my feelings because right now I don't know anything anymore. I am lost, Aaron. I've lost my way and I just don't trust myself around you.''

He cupped her face gently and leaned forward. He kissed the top of her head. He sighed deeply, knowing this could be the last time he ever touched her. ''It's okay.'' he whispered into her hair. He inhaled the perfect scent of her hair one more time before he pulled away. He had to live with only kissing her once. But he would never forget how her lips felt on his. The memory was in his mind forever. ''I love you, JJ!'' he whispered and this time he pulled completely away from her. He walked out of the house and left JJ in the living room, knowing he was doing what she wanted even though it made him crumble inside.

JJ leaned with her back to the wall and she dropped down to the floor in tears. She pulled her knees up and she started crying. Every emotion came out and she couldn't stop it. He loved her. She never ever thought those words could be so real but when Hotch said them she just believed it. His words always affected her. He wasn't like anyone she met before, but something inside of her was doubting everything she shared with him. Hotch was still a big mystery and she felt like she barely knew anything about him and that scared her. But a week ago she was willing to be with him and right now she questioning everything. Maybe her gut was telling her to be careful and move on with her life even though it could be the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life.


	30. Chapter 29

A/N: Here's the next chapter. This has really become my favorite story by far. Maybe I like all the drama I create. And I am already working on a storyline for a sequel to this one. So it's going to a long ride and I hope you all stick with me.

Special thanks to Sohpia0665, jenny crum, red2013, Splash's Writing Zone, Westie80, Christiangirl, CM Fan and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 29: Familiar faces**

_**Three months later…**_

The next three months passed by quickly for JJ. She had been back in school for two months and she was happy that she had something else to focus on. Her summer had been one drama after another and she was glad to leave it behind. Everything had gone back to normal. Her relationship with Sean was back on track and her friendship with Stacy was unharmed after the ordeal with Hotch. The subject of Hotch never came up again and JJ never saw him again after she told him she couldn't be his friend. But she hadn't forgotten about him. Every now and then she wondered if he went to Law School and how he was doing. Her heart still skipped a beat when she thought about him and she knew that part was never going to change. But what bugged her the most was the fact that Sean still didn't know about his parents. He had no idea what Hotch did to protect his family and JJ wanted to tell him but at the last moment she forced herself to stop because it just wasn't her place to make that decision. But that choice was starting to haunt her more every single day.

''Earth to JJ!'' Stacy called out as she threw her notebook onto JJ's lap. ''You were daydreaming, JJ.'' she said.

JJ snapped from her thoughts and looked directly at Stacy. ''What were you saying?''

''I was talking to you about prom and what we are going to wear.'' she said with a panic in her voice.

JJ giggled as she heard Stacy talk about the prom. ''The prom is months away, Stacy. Don't worry about it.'' JJ assured. She turned to look at her side. Sean was sitting next to her. He was listening to their conversation with a wide smile on his face. ''Why are you laughing?''

''I just think it's cute that you girls worry about dresses months in advance of the prom.'' he mocked. ''It's so adorable!''

''Oh, shut up!'' Stacy exclaimed. ''This is our senior year! It has to be memorable because this is the last year we're spending together and I want it to be perfect.'' she explained before taking a zip of her water.

''Right now everything is more than good enough for me.'' Sean said, pulling JJ closer and putting a kiss on her cheek. ''See!''

''You two are gross!''

''Thanks, Stacy! That's what I want to hear right now!'' JJ interrupted. She stood up and let of Sean's hand. ''I am going to get some coffee before I get home.''

''Don't forget practice tonight!'' Stacy reminded her before she had the chance to walk away. ''You're the captain and you need to be there!''

''I know, Stacy. Don't worry. I'll be back tonight.'' she said, smiling at her friend. JJ turned to Sean and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. ''I love you!''

''Love you too!'' Sean whispered against her lips.

''See! Gross!'' Stacy exclaimed as Sean and JJ moved away from each other.

''Bye Stacy.'' JJ said as she walked away.

* * *

JJ parked her car in a hurry. She only had a couple of hours left to make homework, shower and eat before she had to go to practice. And like Stacy said, she couldn't miss them. Practice was now more important than anything. Scouts were going to come to their games and JJ was in desperate need of a scholarship to a good school. She knew she wanted to go to college. She just didn't know which one or what she was even going to study. She knew Sean wanted to go to Harvard to become a doctor. But JJ didn't know if she was going to pick a college close to Sean. She wanted the choice to be based on her own feelings and not her relationship. Sure, her relationship was important but so was school.

JJ turned around the corner and she was about to cross the street when a car almost hit her. She took a step backwards in shock. Cars still cared her sometimes. It was because of the accident. There were even moments when she was afraid to drive but she never admitted that to anyone because she needed to get around.

''You really need to watch out where you're going Mary!'' a voice called out from behind her.

JJ recognized the voice immediately. So she turned around to see a smiling Aaron Hotchner standing behind her. She was actually seeing him in the flesh and it felt good. He looked even better than before. The white shirt on his dark blue jeans made him look hot as always and she felt her heart skip a beat. She didn't know what to say. She was completely shocked to see him again after such a long time. But it was definitely a good thing.

''Hello Aaron?'' Hotch asked, checking JJ out. She had grown taller than before. Her legs seemed a little longer and her body was still beautiful and curvy. She looked gorgeous and good. ''Was that what you wanted to say?''

JJ stepped forward and flew into his arms. She had missed him too much and she only realized it now. ''It's so good to see you again!''

''Yeah, you too.'' he whispered as he held her tightly. He let go when she finally pulled away. ''You look great, JJ. How have you been?''

''I am really good. How are you?'' she asked excitedly. ''Oh, you need to tell me everything about Georgetown! You did go to Georgetown, did you?''

''I did. Don't worry about it.'' he reassured. ''And I've doing great actually.''

''What a coincidence that we ran into each other. What are you doing out here?''

''I just left a friend's apartment and I decided to get some coffee before I go home.'' he answered happily. ''Do you want to get some coffee together?'' he suggested, knowing JJ would ask if he didn't. It felt so right to be talking to her again. He had missed her too much.

She graciously nodded as a small smile appeared on her face. ''I would love to.''

Hotch let JJ walk ahead as he followed her into the small building. They both ordered their coffee in silence and sat down at a table in the corner. There weren't a lot of people. It was quiet but it didn't feel awkward.

''I really missed you, JJ.'' Hotch said to break the silence. She gave him a steady gaze in return and he didn't let go of it. ''So how has school been? Are you excited about senior year?''

''School has been good and I'm glad this is the final year. I can't wait to go to college and do what I want to do. I want some freedom.'' she said, sighing deeply before continuing. ''Tell me about law school, Mr. Lawyer.''

''It's nice actually. I'm really enjoying it so far.'' he replied. ''But how have you been?'' he asked again. ''I mean besides school. Just you know…''

JJ shook her head. ''I don't know…'' she said in a giggle. ''I've been good, Aaron. I still miss my family a lot, but I think that feeling will never disappear. Tom is still working on the case. He doesn't want to stop until he finds the person who's responsible for the accident. So, he's busy and Sara is still Sara.''

''How is Sean doing?''

JJ was surprised that Hotch asked about his little brother. He usually avoided the subject all together but he seemed worried. ''He's good.'' she said sadly. ''Have you thought about telling him about what happened four years ago? I think he deserves to know, Aaron.'' she went on. ''He has a right to know as to why his older brother left without an explanation. I think he even needs it.''

Hotch took a zip of his coffee, knowing JJ was right. But he didn't know how to tell Sean. He was afraid he would never believe him after everything that happened between them. ''I want to tell him, JJ. I really do but maybe it's for the best this way.'' he said. ''Because Sean will be so hurt when he finds out about what my father did and that my mother never had the courage to tell the truth. He'll be torn up and I don't want to be responsible for his pain.''

''Sean has been in pain ever since you left, Aaron.'' JJ began. ''You're his brother and I know that he misses you. He acts like he hates you but deep down he needs his brother. You've been gone for so long and then you just showed up again without any kind of explanation. He deserves to know.''

''I just need to think about it.'' he said, rising from the chair. ''I have to go, JJ. Can I call you?''

JJ stayed glued to her seat. ''Of course.'' she whispered. ''I'll see you then.''

''Yeah,'' he agreed before turning his back to her. He felt relieved, knowing JJ was okay. Her happiness would always be important to him. And he knew he was still deeply in love with her, but he wasn't going to start the events of the summer all over again. Everything seemed to be good and he didn't want to ruin that feeling.

* * *

JJ was supposed to drive straight home after getting her coffee but she just couldn't. Instead, she drove to Sean's house. She knew Sean wouldn't be home because he hanging out with his friends. She also knew that his father way away on his business. So it was the perfect time for JJ to talk to the one and only Amy Hotchner.

JJ stepped from her car and started knocking on the door until it was opened. It was time for someone to give the woman a reality check. And JJ could no longer wait to let someone else do it. She was sick and tired of the woman's ignorance regarding her own flesh and blood.

''Jennifer?'' Amy asked after opening the door. ''Sean's not home.''

''I know. I came to talk to you.'' JJ said, knowing she wouldn't understand any of it. ''Can I come in?''

''I'm fine right over here.'' Amy said instantly. ''What do you want to talk about?''

''I know you don't like me!'' JJ said angrily.

''Who told you that?''

JJ shook her head. ''Cut the crap! I don't like you either so we both have nothing to worry about.''

''You don't talk to me this way young lady.'' Amy warned but JJ didn't back off. She wondered what had gotten into JJ. Normally they were able to act civil despite their differences.

''I don't get you. You have two wonderful sons but you just don't have the decency to treat them with respect.'' JJ started. ''You just stood by as Aaron's life got torn apart by his own father. He protected you. He saved your life!''

''What are you talking about?''

''Oh, don't do that. I know everything.'' JJ said. ''You have this beautiful family but you don't value anything. I lost my family and I'll never see them again. You have a chance to be with them but you don't seem to care.''

''I do care!'' Amy said emotionally.

''Really? Because I doesn't look like it.'' she said. ''Your son's life got torn apart and you just watched it happen.'' JJ yelled. ''How can you? He is your son!''

''I wanted to help Aaron. I didn't want him to leave. I am his mother and I've missed him since he left.'' Amy cried out. ''But Daniel threatened Sean's life and I couldn't take that risk.''

''I understand that you've been through a lot but it's time for you to stand up for your family. You need to do something about this because there are two brother who hate each other for nothing.'' JJ said angrily before she turned around. She wasn't going to give the woman a goodbye. She didn't deserve it. JJ just hoped she was going to do something about her problems. Both Hotch and Sean deserved better.


	31. Chapter 30

A/N: Here's another one. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Westie80, jenny crum, Christiangirl, red2013, guest, Katia XD and Splash's Writing Zone!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 30: Shock**

Three days had passed since JJ saw Hotch and her life was once again in shambles. She couldn't stop thinking about him and she knew she still felt the same for him. She just didn't want a repeat performance of last summer. She couldn't do all the drama all over again, so she knew her feelings needed to be kept in that little box inside her head. But the worst of all was knowing his secret. JJ was lying to Sean every day. She was standing in between two brothers who ultimately hated each other for nothing. Their family drama was unnecessary and she wanted to fix it so badly. But it wasn't her place. She just hoped that Amy Hotchner got her message. She wished that the mother of the two brothers was going to do something about the mess she created with her husband.

JJ grabbed the last books she needed for school and she put them in her bag. On her way out the door, she grabbed her jacket. She closed the door behind her and made her way to her car. She put her bag on the passenger's seat. At the same time her phone started ringing. She pulled it from her pocket and her face lit up when she saw the caller ID.

''Hey,'' she greeted kindly.

''_Hi, JJ.'' _Hotch greeted back, sitting in his apartment. _''I've been thinking about what you said yesterday and I think I'm going to tell Sean about what happened four years ago. You're right. He deserves to know.''_

''I'm glad that you changed your mind.'' she said. ''Aaron, I have to go. School starts in twenty minutes. Can I talk to you later?''

''_Oh, yeah.'' _he stumbled. _''I was actually hoping we could talk before I'm going to tell Sean.''_

''Okay. I can miss a day of school.'' she said, hearing some hesitation in his voice. ''Should I come by your apartment?''

''_That sounds good. I'll see you soon, JJ.''_

''See you!'' she said before hanging up her phone. JJ hopped in her car and started the car and she made her way in the direction of Hotch's apartment. During the drive she was wondering if Sean was actually going to believe his brother. She knew he wouldn't want to hear a truth like that. It was horrible and unbelievable. It would be for anyone.

* * *

Hotch opened the door for JJ once she arrived. He closed the door behind her and pointed to the couch. He walked into the kitchen and came out with two glasses of water. He nervously put one in front of JJ. He sat down in the chair across from her. He put his glass on the coffee table as he sighed deeply.

''I am going to tell him this afternoon when he comes out of school. I don't want to do it at the house or here. I think it's best if it happens on neutral grounds.'' Hotch explained. ''And maybe you should be there.'' he suggested.

JJ shook her head. ''This isn't my business, Aaron. I can't just help you with this. It's not my right to tell Sean.''

''I know but you could be there to support him.'' he contradicted, seeing the shock on JJ's face.

''And how do you think he's going to feel when we both show up at school? He's going to freak out and I am not willing to take that risk.'' she began to explain. ''Look, Aaron….'' she stumbled. ''The last time I saw you I told you we couldn't be friends and that might have been a rush decision that I made and I'm so sorry about that but I'm not going to throw this in Sean's face. I don't even know if we're friends at all.'' she went on. ''It took two months before my friendship with Stacy went back to normal because I hurt her. I was lucky enough that she forgave me. And I'm also lucky that Sean and I are finally back to where we once were. I don't want to risk that. I'm sorry.''

''I understand. I just think it would be best if you where there. He doesn't have to know that we talked.''

''I'm not going to lie to Sean again. I won't risk it.'' JJ said immediately. ''We've done enough damage last summer. We kept going in circles and in the end it didn't even work out. And I did feel something for you, I really did. But I can't risk lying this time. I won't do it. Whatever you do it's your choice.''

''JJ!'' Hotch said as JJ rose from the couch and made her way to the door. ''I know I hurt you. I hurt Stacy, Sean and you and I'm so sorry about that. I never wanted any of it to happen, but Sean's going to need you.''

''I'll be there for him. But I can't be here for you right now. I'm sorry.'' she said before leaving the apartment.

Hotch felt the courage leave his body after JJ left. Could he really tell the truth? Did he want to be the one to tear apart Sean's life? He no longer knew if he was ready. He knew Sean wouldn't be willing to listen to anything he had to say.

* * *

School was over and JJ had only missed first period when she talked to Hotch. The rest of the day she forgot about her conversation with him and she put her focus on Sean. She had no idea how he was going to respond to Hotch's story. She hoped he would take time to listen.

''JJ, let's go!'' Sean called when JJ was saying goodbye to Stacy. ''We have to go!''

JJ ran towards Sean after Stacy left as well. She held her biology books to her chest as they walked to Sean's car. They were going to study together for an upcoming test. They always helped each other out during studying.

''Why are you in such a hurry?'' JJ wondered out loud. She didn't hear Sean answer so she went on. ''We're just going to study, right? We have all the time in the world for that.'' she rambled on. She suddenly looked to her side and noticed that Sean had disappeared. She looked up to see Hotch standing right in front of her. She turned around and Sean was frozen in his spot. JJ walked towards him and stopped next to him. ''Sean?''

Sean couldn't take his eyes of Hotch as he approached him and JJ. ''What are you doing here?''

''I came to talk to you.'' he answered simply. ''It's important. And you can go back to hating me after you hear me out. I would understand but I need you to listen for one second.''

Sean started to walk away from him. ''I don't need to hear you out. You should go!''

JJ ran after Sean and stopped him by grabbing him by the wrist. ''You need to hear him out, Sean. It's something you need to hear. It'll explain why he left four years ago.'' she explained. ''Hear him out.''

''You knew about this?''

''I talked to Aaron yesterday and this morning.'' she confessed. ''You can be mad all you want but just talk to Aaron. I'll go to your car while the two of you talk.'' she assured, noticing the panic in his eyes. He had no idea what was going on.

Hotch once again approached Sean after JJ left the brothers alone. ''I'm sorry for doing it like this but I didn't want to talk at the house or my apartment.''

''What do you want to say to me?''

''What do you remember about the night I hurt dad?'' Hotch asked carefully.

Sean saw flashes of his older brother beating his dad and not stopping at all. ''You attacked him and you didn't stop beating him. The ambulance came and brought him to the hospital. Mom told the cops he fell down the stairs which we both know was a lie to protect you from going to jail.''

''She told a lie to protect dad, Sean. It wasn't to protect me but to protect dad.''

''What do you mean?''

''When you were little dad was gone for a couple of months. Do you remember that?'' Hotch asked. When Sean nodded he went on. ''It was because he had been drinking when his company went bankrupt. He came back sober and everything seemed fine, Sean. Everything went back to normal.'' he said. ''Then one day I found mom in the kitchen crying with bruises all over her face and I found out that he had been beating mom daily.''

''You're lying!'' Sean said in shock, but some pieces started to fall in place. ''It can't be true.''

''It's true. I wish it wasn't.'' he said emotionally. ''The night you witnessed me beating dad was the night I finally decided to step up. I overheard mom crying and I went into the bedroom and I saw him beating her. I jumped him and I lost control. But I did it to protect her.''

Sean turned around, covering his face with his hands. He never knew why his brother left. Hotch had been the person he looked up to when he was younger and now he realized for the first time in four years why he left without saying a word. ''Why didn't mom tell me?''

''I think she was scared.'' he said. ''I am sorry for what I did to dad and I am sorry for my part in all of this.''

''Is this why you came back?'' Sean asked as the tears escaped his eyes.

Hotch took a step forward and put his hand on his shoulder. ''Yeah, it's not the only reason but it's part of the reason. I wanted to know how you were doing and when I saw the way you looked at me, I knew mom never told you.''

''I can't believe this happened.''

Hotch pulled his little brother into his arms as he kept crying. It was a moment of loss and gain. Maybe they had a chance to fix their relationship. That was the upside but the downside was the truth about their father. ''I'm so sorry.'' Hotch whispered as Sean pulled away again.

''I just don't know what to say, Aaron.'' Sean started. ''I need to think right now. I…I…am…I need really time.''

''Of course.'' Hotch agreed, knowing Sean was going to have many questions. ''You can call me or stop by when you want to talk or when you want to ask questions. I'm here when you need me.''

''Thanks.''

''And don't be to mad at JJ, Sean. Nothing happened and she looks happy.''

Sean turned around one final time. ''Bye.''

Sean started to make his way to his car as his thoughts were racing. His mind was in overload and he felt like breaking down. He never expected Hotch to come forward with such a truth. He never believed his mom and dad would be capable of covering up the truth and letting their son suffer for it. It wasn't fair to both of them.


	32. Chapter 31

A/N: Here's another one. I hope everyone likes this.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Christiangirl, jenny crum, CM Fan and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 31****: ****Untold feelings**

Sean hopped in the car next to JJ. He sighed deeply, trying to stay calm and not freak out about the entire situation. But he did feel like exploding. He couldn't believe his parents kept lying to him for so many years and it might have caused him his relationship with Hotch. In that moment Sean felt so many regrets because of how he treated his brother. He thought he was a bad guy, but he just protected their mother from their own father.

''How are you holding up?'' JJ asked as she gazed at Sean.

Sean looked into her eyes and he felt a calmness wash over him. Her eyes were filled with worry and love. He was always able to tell how JJ felt by her eyes. They sometimes even betrayed her, but in this moment they made him feel comfortable and cared for. ''I feel like screaming.'' he admitted. ''I just can't believe that my mom hid this from me and it tore apart my relationship with my brother. I kept telling everyone he's a bad person, but now I'm not so sure anymore.''

''Your brother is a good person, Sean.'' JJ agreed, remembering all the good moments she spent with Hotch. ''He acts like a jackass most of the time but underneath he's real and caring. You just have to get to know him like I did.''

When JJ talked Sean could feel how much she cared. It made him wonder if she still had feelings for him. ''What exactly happened between you two?'' he asked curiously, knowing he might get an answer he didn't want to get.

''You really want to know? I don't want you to get angry with me.'' she said but Sean nodded quickly to reassure JJ. ''At first I kept my distance from him because you warned me. Whenever I ran into him, he would make flirtatious comments but there was something in the way he talked that pulled me in.'' she went on. ''And then we went out a couple of times and I really got to know who he is. Did you know he's actually attending Georgetown law school?''

''What?'' Sean exclaimed. ''Aaron?''

''Yeah,'' JJ replied. ''Just don't tell him you heard it from me because he might kill me. But he's smart, kind, friendly and a little bit dangerous. I have to give you that. But he's not that bad, Sean.''

''I believe you.''

''But how are you feeling?''

He returned her small smile. A grin appeared on his face as he looked at JJ. ''I'm thinking.'' he confessed. ''Do you mind if we reschedule studying? I think I might want to drop by Aaron's place and talk to him.''

''No, I don't mind. You should go!'' she encouraged, gathering her things. ''I can go home in my own car.''

''Good. I'll call you tonight.''

JJ leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. ''Bye.'' she whispered before stepping from the car. She was glad that Sean was open to talk to Hotch. She hoped things between the two of them would get better. It would be amazing if they could be friends one day.

* * *

Sean drove to the apartment building. JJ texted him the address after he left. He felt nervous and excited at the same time. It had been years since they had a normal conversation and he looked forward to just being brothers again. He didn't want to fight over the girl they both cared about and he didn't want to argue about his parents. He just wanted to be brothers without any complications. There was no reason for them to hate each other. And now Sean was wondering why he hated his brother in the first place.

He stopped in front of the door and knocked one time. He heard movement on the other side, so he waited patiently until the door was opened by Hotch.

''Sean?'' Hotch asked in surprise. ''What are you doing here?''

In the background Sean heard another person. And when he heard the voice he knew who it was. ''Who is it?'' a female voice called out.

''Haley?'' Sean called out as he looked at Hotch who seemed to be annoyed by the situation. ''I was just wondering if we could talk.''

Hotch was about to say something when Haley stepped next to him. ''Hello little Hotchner!'' she greeted happily as she pulled Sean into a quick hug. She pulled away and suddenly noticed the tension. ''I was just leaving. I'll see you later, Aaron. Bye Sean!'' she said before she left the apartment in a hurry.

''We're just friends!'' Hotch said before Sean could ask the question he didn't want to answer. ''Come on in.'' he said, taking a step backwards in order to let Sean in. He closed the door and pointed for Sean to sit on the couch.

Sean took a seat on the couch. The situation felt a bit awkward. ''This is weird, isn't it?''

Hotch sat down in the chair. ''Yeah, it is. But you're welcome any time.''

''I just want to apologize about….everything, Aaron.'' he began. ''I've been acting like a jerk and it was all for nothing.''

Hotch shook his head once Sean was done talking. ''Don't ever apologize. I was the jerk in all of this, Sean.'' Hotch said. ''And in the end our parents are at fault for keeping such a big secret from you.''

''Yeah, but I kept you away from JJ. I made sure she wasn't your friend and now I realize how stupid that was.'' he began. ''I think she loves you, Aaron. I really do and I can't stay with her if she has feelings for you.''

Hotch was surprised. Stunned even. He never thought his brother would talk about JJ. Not after everything that had happened. ''What are you telling me?''

''I love JJ. I do, but our relationship hasn't been the same since you came into town.'' he explained. ''Do you still love her?''

''I do.'' he confessed. ''But she's with you, Sean. I'm not going there anymore. Months ago I thought I could win her from you. But she's better off with you. I'm the bad guy, remember?''

''You don't believe that.'' Sean said. ''JJ has never looked at me they way she looks at you. I know she has feelings for you and I no longer want to be the one between you.'' he explained. ''That's all I wanted to tell you, Aaron.''

Hotch watched as Sean rose from the chair. This was the last thing he ever expected to happen. Sean just told him that he thought JJ and him were good for each other. ''Don't do this for me, Sean. I don't want to cause JJ or you any more pain.''

''Right now, JJ deserves to be with someone who truly loves her.'' he started. ''That person isn't me, Aaron. I can't give her what she wants because she only wants you. She might not say it but I know it's the truth.''

''You really think so?''

''I know so.'' he replied. ''I'll talk to you soon.''

''Yeah,'' Hotch said in a whisper, taking in the conversation. A part of him was relieved to know that JJ probably still felt the same way. But another part felt guilty for breaking Sean and JJ up and it might cause JJ even more pain. He didn't know what to do in that moment. But he had to talk to JJ no matter what was going to happen next. He couldn't go on without knowing if it was real and this time he wouldn't mess it up. The last time it turned into the worst mistake of his life and that wasn't going to happen again.


	33. Chapter 32

A/N: Here's another one. I hope you all like this.

Special thanks to jenny crum, Sophia0665, Christiangirl, CM Fan, Westie80 and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 32: Next in line**

The next day JJ felt extremely nervous. She had barely talked to Sean. She had only seen him in the classes they had together. So she wanted to talk him after her English literature class. She wanted to know what happened between him and Hotch. She was afraid Sean might be mad and that was the last thing she wanted after everything started to look up. She couldn't get in another fight with him. But as she walked out of the school, she had no idea what was going to happen next. It seemed like happiness wasn't something JJ got to experience anymore. Her life had been one drama after the other and she was sick of it. She was a teenager and she was supposed to have fun and worry about what she was going to wear to school. She wasn't supposed to worry about a fight with her boyfriend. But it was all she could think about. She noticed Sean waiting for her by her car. She sighed because she felt relieved, knowing he was actually waiting for her. But when she saw his face, she knew something was up.

Sean had been preparing himself all day to tell JJ how he felt. He hoped she would agree and that she wouldn't be angry with him for what he was about to do. ''Hey,'' he greeted sadly when she stopped right in front of him. ''I wanted to talk to you, JJ. It's important.''

''Are you mad?'' she asked. ''Did I do something?''

''No, you didn't do anything.'' he reassured when he heard the panic in her voice. He shifted his weight nervously. ''You know I love you. But we both know that our relationship hasn't been the same since my brother appeared into our lives.'' he began.

JJ looked at him in surprise. She thought he was going to be angry, but his voice was calm and steady. ''I…I…don't know what you're talking about.''

''JJ, I talked to Aaron yesterday and I know he still loves you. Do you have any idea how rare it is for him to be in love? He doesn't fall in love. We both know that. But he fell for you and you fell for him.'' he continued and JJ was shaking her head. ''Don't deny it. I don't want you to. Not anymore. Not for me. I know you love him, JJ. And I don't want to be the one who's keeping you away from what you truly want.'' he went on. ''And that's why I've decided to let you go.''

''What?'' JJ croaked out as the fear washed over her. ''What about us?''

''I'm not mad. I promise.'' he said immediately. ''I just woke up. We're probably better off as friends anyway.''

A wide smile appeared on her face. ''Friends?''

''Yeah,'' he agreed. ''I love you, JJ. I'm just not in love with you. And I want to be friends.''

She flew into his arms in happiness. He wasn't mad or angry. He was letting her go. It all sounded to perfect but it was happening and it made her insides tingle. ''Thanks, Sean.''

Sean let her go again. ''Go to Aaron. Talk to him. Decide what you want.'' he said before turning around. He looked at JJ one more time and the grin on her face let him know he made the right decision to walk away from her. But he knew he would never forget his time with JJ. She was his first love and that would always mean the world to him. Their feelings just changed. They both moved forward and their feelings stayed behind in that process. ''Bye. Good luck.''

''Thanks. I'll see you in school tomorrow.'' she said before she jumped in her car. The excitement was going through her body. Now she just hoped that Hotch was willing to give them another shot. The last time he turned her down when she came to him. So this time, he had to come to her because she wasn't going to put her heart on the line again. So the ball was in Hotch's court and JJ decided to wait.

* * *

JJ stepped into the house a couple of minutes later and she heard noises coming from the kitchen. She dropped her bag to the floor and she made her way into the kitchen. She saw Sara making dinner. She normally wasn't home around this time so JJ was surprised to see her. Sara didn't even notice her until JJ coughed to make her presence known.

''Hey!'' Sara exclaimed. ''You're home.''

''I am.'' she said. ''Why are you home early?''

Sara put down the bowl she had in her hands and stepped in front of JJ with the biggest smile on her face. ''I was promoted to Chief Nursing Officer today.'' she replied, jumping up and down.

JJ had never seen her aunt so happy in her life. She knew it had been a while since something good happened for her and this was definitely good news. ''Congratulations! I'm so happy for you.'' JJ said as Sara pulled her into an embrace. ''You deserve this.''

''Thanks, JJ. But enough about me. How was school?'' Sara asked as she returned to her cooking.

JJ thought she would just tell the truth about Sean. There was no reason to wait. She did know that Sara would be devastated because she liked Sean a lot. ''School was the same as always. Except that Sean and I broke up.'' she just blurted out.

Sara almost dropped down to the floor in shock. She thought the two teenager were very happy together. ''What? Why?''

''Aaron.'' JJ stated as she saw the shock on her aunt's face. ''I know you don't like him.''

''You're right. I don't like him.'' she replied. ''But why Aaron?''

JJ pulled herself up on the counter before she answered the question. ''Because he takes away my pain, my heart skips a beat when I see him, he understands me and he makes me feel things I've never felt before in my entire life.'' she summed up. ''He just consumes me.''

''You're in love with him, JJ.''

''Yeah, I think I am.'' she breathed out. ''You don't like it, do you?''

''No, I don't.'' Sara said honestly. ''He's brought trouble into your life since the moment you met him. He's five years older, JJ.''

''Six actually.'' she pointed out. ''He just turned twenty-three.''

''Yeah, and you're only seventeen. Do you know how wrong this is?'' she said. ''I don't know if I want you to see him, JJ. I am sorry.''

JJ understood her aunt's doubts. She would have the same doubts if she heard that a seventeen year old was dating a guy six years older. ''I know how wrong it seems, but I'm not seventeen, Sara.'' she began. ''I was forced to grow up after the car crash. I had to or else I wouldn't be standing here. I'm not seventeen. I don't feel like it.''

''You might be right, but I need to talk to Tom about this.''

''He's going to beat Aaron to a pulp.'' JJ said with worry. ''I can't have that.''

Sara laughed. ''Just like your father would've done.''

''I was thinking the same thing.''

''But you have to realize that age of consent here is eighteen years and older, JJ. You're only seventeen so you would have to wait until you turn eighteen.'' Sara explained. ''Or Tom might arrest him. I know he will.''

''He's worth the wait, Sara. I'll wait as long as I'll have to.'' she promised, knowing she would do almost anything to be with Hotch. She wouldn't mind waiting. She just hoped Hotch wouldn't mind when the time came.

* * *

Sean had been in his room studying until he heard a door open. He knew it was his father who came home from his business trip. Sean went downstairs immediately and found his father in the study. Once Sean saw his face, the anger boiled inside of him and he wanted to hear the truth from him. He knew he deserved it from his own father. He had the right to it.

''Hey, Dad!'' Sean greeted as he stepped into the study. His father was already working behind the desk. The man never had a second in his day left to do something other than working. ''Can we talk?''

Daniel looked up at his Sean. ''I don't have time, Sean. I need to work.''

''I think you should hear me out.'' Sean suggested impatiently.

''What is it?''

Sean took the seat across from his father with anger written all over his face. He was really going to do this. But he didn't realize what the consequences were going to be. He didn't think before he spoke. ''Aaron told me that you beat up mom four years ago.''

Daniel flinched as the words came out of Sean's mouth. ''What did you just say to me?''

''You abused mom! You beat her! You beat my brother!'' he yelled, standing up from the chair. ''And you lied to me about everything.''

Daniel rose from his chair and walked around the desk and stopped in front of Sean. ''I won't repeat that if I were you.'' he threatened.

''Really? What are you going to do, Dad?'' he asked as his eyes started to water. ''Are you going to hurt me? Are you going to beat me?''

''Don't talk to me this way.''

''I'll do whatever I want. You're supposed to be in prison.'' Sean yelled out. ''I'm going to tell the police everything.'' Sean said and he was about to walk away when he felt a kick in his back. He fell to the floor but was able to keep himself up with his hands. He turned around to see that his father's face had changed. He looked like a killer. He seemed uncontrollable.

''You won't tell anyone!'' he yelled.

Sean was about to stand up when he received a kick to his stomach. He winced out in pain. He couldn't believe that this person was his father.

Daniel picked Sean up from the ground and pushed him into the wall behind him. He hit him in the face over and over again until he seemed to be unconscious. He let Sean drop to the ground. ''This was just a warning!'' he spit out before he left the study.

On the other side of the house Amy overheard the commotion. She waited for her husband to leave the house before she ran into the study. She grabbed her phone on the way there and dialed Hotch's number, hoping he would pick up. She needed him to pick up. As the phone was dialing, she came into the study. She saw Sean laying on the ground. His face was covered in blood and he didn't move.

''_Hello!'' _Hotch said as he heard his mother's cries on the phone. He knew those cries by heart. _''Mom! What's happening?''_

''Aaron? You need to come! Sean…'' she cried out. ''Sean…your father beat him. He's unconscious.''

Hotch's heart sank as he realized that his father hurt his little brother. _''Check his pulse, mom! I'm going to call 911. I'll be there soon. Hang on!''_

Amy went into a panic when the line went dead. She checked Sean's pulse and she felt it. It was faint but it was there. She took him into her arms and the tears kept streaming down her face. ''Sean, stay with me! Stay with me!'' she cried out. ''I need you to fight. I love you. I love you, Sean. I'm so sorry!''


	34. Chapter 33

A/N: Here's one more. I hope everyone is still enjoying this story.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, Christiangirl, jenny crum, Westie80, Splash's Writing Zone and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 33: Another victim**

Hotch raced through traffic in his truck, hoping he wouldn't cause and accident. But in reality it was the last thing on his mind. Sean was on his mind. He hoped it wasn't too bad. But knowing his father, he knew it wasn't one punch. In that moment regret and guilt filled his heart. If he had gone to the cops this would never have happened. He had the information to put his father away. Maybe even for life but he never used it. Partially because he felt like it would be a betrayal but his father had betrayed his own family in even more ways than one.

When Hotch finally reached the house, he jumped from his car and even forgot to close the door. On his way to the front door he saw his father sitting on the bench in the front yard. He had a beer in his hands. Hotch approached him. He felt like beating him to death but he wasn't going to sink to his level.

''You son of a bitch!'' Hotch called out. Daniel rose from the bench and was standing in front of him. Hotch punched him in the face and then took a couple of steps backwards. ''Go! If you come close to mom or Sean, I will hurt you!'' he warned.

''I can take you!'' Daniel shot back. ''You're not my son!''

''I don't care what you say. And I agree. I don't even want you as a father!'' he yelled. ''If you come back I'll tell them about the night you drove when you were drunk!'' he added and he immediately noticed the recognition on his father's face. ''Yeah, I know!'' he whispered sadly. He knew all about it.

Hotch turned around and ran into the house. He immediately heard the sobs coming from the study. He ran into the study to see his mother with Sean in her arms. Sean looked really bad and Hotch knew the ambulance needed to get there soon. ''Is he alive?'' Hotch breathed out as he dropped to the floor. He took Sean's hand and squeezed it, hoping he would respond. ''Sean!'' he called out. ''Come on, little brother. I need you to hang on!''

Hotch watched his mother's body shake. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, letting her know that everything was going to be okay. ''He'll make it, mom! He has to.'' he encouraged.

At that moment the sirens were coming closer and they both knew help had finally arrived. Amy rose from the floor. ''I'll let them know where you are. Stay with him!''

Hotch looked into her eyes and the horror and fear made his heart break. He recognized it from years ago. ''Go!''

Hotch had his hand under Sean's head as the other held his hand. He looked at his little brother and the tears suddenly fell from his eyes. He had never seen him so fragile. ''Come on, Sean!'' he whispered. ''I can't lose you. Not after everything. Mom and I need you.''

Hotch sat next to Sean as he kept talking to him. He heard the paramedics come in but he ignored them. He didn't move an inch until he was being pulled away by two strong arms. He fought to free himself but he was overpowered. He finally calmed down when he watched the paramedics work on Sean. His mother was standing next to him as the scene unfolded in front of them. And time seemed to stop. Everything passed by in slow motion.

''Ma'am, what happened here?'' an unfamiliar voice called out. ''Ma'am!''

Hotch and Amy turned around to see two police officers standing behind them. Amy looked at Hotch for a moment before she responded.

''My son…'' she croaked out. She once again looked at Hotch and she knew she had to tell the truth. It was time. She could no longer let her family get hurt. ''Aaron, go with Sean. I'll talk to them.''

Hotch wanted her to tell the truth, so he didn't move an inch. Amy knew why he kept standing next to her. ''I'll tell them everything.'' she reassured.

Once Hotch heard that, he ran outside and saw the ambulance taking off. Outside he finally realized his entire body was shaking. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he felt his knees go weak, but he couldn't break down. He had to go to the hospital. He had to be there for his little brother. So he got himself together and he ran back to his truck.

* * *

On the way to the hospital every scenario played through his head, but he couldn't lose Sean. They were just talking again. He finally had his brother back and even then everything seemed to be falling apart. As he kept panicking, he knew only one person in the entire world could calm in down. So he grabbed his phone and dialed the number as he drove to the hospital.

''_Hey!'' _JJ said on the other end of the line, not knowing what had happened. _''How are you?''_

Hotch immediately felt himself calm down once he heard her voice. He often wondered how she did that. But that was just one of the many questions he had regarding JJ. There were so many unknown feelings he had for her that surprised him every single day. ''Sean's in the hospital, JJ.'' he blurted out. He heard her breathing stop, knowing she would go into a panic like him. ''I'm following the ambulance right now.''

''_What? What happened?'' _she asked.

''I think Sean talked to my dad and he end up hurting him.'' he explained, hearing the noise of keys on JJ's side. ''It's bad, JJ. I feel so stupid for not doing anything early. And I didn't know who to call so I just called you.''

''_It's fine, Aaron.'' _she said. _''I'm on my way. I'll be there soon. And don't feel guilty. You didn't do this. Your father did, Aaron. You're nothing like him.''_

''I hope so.'' he said as he drove around a corner through a red light. He didn't care. He had to be close to Sean. He wasn't going to let anything else happen to him. He couldn't. ''I need you there, JJ.'' he whispered. ''I need you.''

''_I know. I'll be there. You need to hang up now, Aaron. I'm on my way.''_

''Yeah,'' he agreed and he heard the phone going dead. He threw his phone against the window in anger as he kept following the sirens ahead of him. His mind and heart were hurting like hell and he didn't know how to stop it. He had been able to deny his feelings for so long. He was able to act cold and not care but that all changed once he met JJ. After meeting her he started to feel again and it sucked. He hated it and he could barely deal with the pain he was feeling.


	35. Chapter 34

A/N: Here's the next. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to jenny crum, Christiangirl, Sophia0665, CM Fan, Westie80, Katia XD and red2013 (I hope you're alright!)!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 34: Guilt and regret**

JJ had been sprinting through the hospital in the hopes of finding Hotch or Sean, but her luck didn't seem to be near. No one was willing to tell her where Sean was because she wasn't blood related and Hotch wasn't picking up his phone, which caused her mind to think about the worst.

JJ ran around the corner, almost bumping into a cranky nurse who gave her an angry look. She started to walk when she saw the familiar figure of Hotch pacing through the hallway. His head was down and he looked like he hadn't slept in months. JJ made her way towards him and stopped when he noticed her.

Hotch felt a little better when he noticed JJ. She had tears in her eyes. He knew it was probably from the shock. ''Come here.'' he breathed out as he pulled her into a tight hug. His arms went around her waist and he felt JJ's arms around his neck. Her warmth calmed him down even more, but his heart was still racing. ''Are you okay?'' he whispered against her neck.

JJ pulled back, but she didn't step away. She stayed close to Hotch. ''I wish I could help him.'' she cried out. ''How is he doing?''

''The doctor just told me they're doing tests to look at the damage, but they don't think he needs surgery.'' he replied.

JJ didn't feel her worry subside. ''I don't want him to go through this alone.'' she said. ''How will he ever get passed this? Is he going to be okay?''

''Eventually.'' Hotch answered, knowing how he dealt with his father's abuse. It took him a long time, but he learned to turn off his pain which wasn't really the right way of dealing. ''I will take a lot of time, JJ.''

She turned around and faced away from him, covering her face with her hands. She felt guilty. Guilty for pushing Hotch to tell Sean about his father. She wished she could go back.

''Talk to me, JJ.'' Hotch pleaded. ''Don't shut me out.''

''This is my fault. All of this happened because of me.'' she cried out as she faced him again. The tears were stinging in her eyes. She couldn't lose another person. She had lost too much.

''This isn't your fault. Why would you think that?'' he asked, feeling her pain.

''I got between you and Sean. I pushed you to tell him the truth. I did this. All of it.'' she said, her voice trembling. ''This didn't happen because you came into his life or because you and I fell for each other.'' she stumbled. ''It's not why Sean is in the hospital. It's because of me. Everything is because of me.''

Hotch put his hand on JJ's shoulder to calm her down but noting seemed to work. She looked broken and tired. So he pulled her against his chest in the hopes of calming her down. ''It's not your fault, JJ. I asked you to keep it a secret and when I decided to tell him it was my choice. No one it at fault.'' he said in a soothing voice. ''My dad did this. He's the one who needs to pay for this.''

''No. I should've known what he was doing, Aaron. He broke up with me the this afternoon. I know him and I should've seen this coming.'' she said, feeling Hotch's hands going up and down her back. ''I can't believe this is happening. He has to be okay.''

''He will be. Sean is strong.'' he whispered.

The doctor stopped next Hotch and JJ. He had seen the desperation on Hotch's face earlier. ''Aaron Hotchner?'' he asked. He saw Hotch turning his attention to him so he decided to continue. ''Your brother is doing fine. He doesn't need surgery because there are no signs of internal bleeding. But we want to keep him for observation because he has a severe concussion.'' the doctor explained. ''I think it's best if he only sees one person at a time. He's in pain and we don't want to put too much pressure on him.''

''Thank you.'' Hotch said, shaking the doctor's hand. He turned to JJ. ''Do you want to go in?''

''No, you should go. You're his brother.''

''Okay,'' he agreed. ''I'll be back.'' he promised. He followed the doctor to a room at the end of the hall. He saw that the blood had been cleaned from his face. His face was swollen and bruised. It looked like he was awake. But the sight scared Hotch. He didn't want to see Sean like that. It wasn't fair.

''Sean?'' Hotch said softly as he sat down in the chair next to the bed. ''How are you feeling?''

Sean felt dizzy. His head was aching and his entire body hurt. Moving wasn't an option because he could feel the pain in his back. ''Aaron?'' he whispered.

''I'm right here.'' Hotch said as he grabbed Sean's hand. ''What were you thinking?''

''I wanted to hear the truth from him.'' he croaked out. ''I never thought he would actually hurt me.''

''I know what that feels like. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Sean.'' Hotch said. ''He's going to pay for his actions. Mom is talking to the police. She's telling the truth this time. It's over.''

The tears escaped Sean's eyes, realizing the severity of the situation all too well. His father was going to prison. The man he looked up to had hurt his entire family. He believed in his father, he trusted his father and he went to him for advice when he needed it. ''I can't believe this happened.''

''I know.'' Hotch said. He looked up at the door when he noticed the blonde beauty standing in the doorway. JJ had tears in her eyes.

She walked towards the bed. ''Oh my god.'' she exclaimed. ''Sean!'' she said as she stopped next to him. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the head. She took a seat on the other side, knowing Hotch would ask why she came in there. But to her surprise he didn't say anything and looked at her with contempt.

''Don't ever scare me like that again!'' she said gently. ''I don't want to lose you or your stupid brother any time soon!''

''I'll be careful next time my father beats me up.'' Sean joked, wincing out in pain when he had to laugh. ''My body hurts like hell.''

''What were you thinking? JJ asked, not knowing Hotch asked Sean the exact same question. So when they both laughed she had no idea what it was about. ''What?''

Hotch smiled at her. ''I just asked him the same question, JJ. I already warned him.''

''I know I was stupid, JJ. But you have to understand that I needed to hear it from dad.'' Sean began to explain. ''I realize now how stupid it was. But I was so afraid of facing the reality because I didn't want to lose him in the end. I just couldn't fix it and I know that now.''

''I know what it feels like to lose your father, Sean. It'll never get easy.'' JJ said as she looked him in the eyes. She shifted in her seat. ''I know our losses our different, but you lost your dad to.''

''What do you miss the most?'' Sean asked. He knew JJ was the only one who might give him some insight to life without a father. But their situations were so different. JJ had good parents and she lost them in a car accident. Sean's father choose his own future.

''I miss the little moments with him. The moments when he would comfort me or when he would be overprotective. I used to hate that about him but now I actually miss it more than anything.'' she said as she flashed back to her childhood. She had great parents. Nothing was wrong about them. They cared about their children and they gave JJ and her sister everything they wanted in life. ''I had an amazing father, Sean. I knew he would never hurt me. But for you that's different now. I don't know what it feels like to see your own father in a different light. I only know what it feels like to lose him.''

Hotch was the only who could understand what Sean was feeling. He experienced it years ago. ''It'll be a struggle do understand his actions. It was for me.'' Hotch continued. ''But I didn't deal with it in the right way. I distanced myself from my feelings. I put them in a tiny box and they never saw the light of day.'' he explained. ''You can't do that. You need to talk about it. That's the most important thing. You have me, JJ and mom. We'll help you through this.''

''I know.'' he said, feeling the exhaustion hit him. ''I think I'm going try to get some sleep.''

''Sure,'' Hotch said immediately. ''We'll be here.'' he promised, seeing that Sean closed his eyes. He looked over at JJ who did the exact same thing. And it wasn't long before he drifted off into a peaceful sleep as well. It had been one hell of a day but in the end everyone was safe. He still couldn't believe his father hit Sean to. It was something he could never be able to understand no matter what would happen. There was no explanation for abusing your family. He knew he would never accept an apology from his father. He had been out of his life for over four years and Hotch wasn't going to let him back in.


	36. Chapter 35

A/N: The next one. I hope everyone likes it!

Special thanks to red2013, Christiangirl, Sophia0665, jenny crum, Lexis4MorganPrentiss and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 35: The start**

JJ followed Hotch into his apartment. They spent the night at the hospital and they stayed there the entire morning until Sean asked them to leave. Well, it was more like he forced them to leave. He didn't want them to stick around the hospital the entire day. So when they left, Hotch asked JJ to come to his apartment. She happily accepted because they had a lot to talk about. She hoped he knew about her break-up with Sean. She even hoped he would say something about it. But she also knew his head could be with Sean. He had every right to think about his brother.

''How are you feeling?'' JJ asked while she sat down on the couch. She watched Hotch clean up the small mess around his apartment. He looked nervous and not like himself. ''Aaron?''

Hotch stopped and returned her gaze. ''Yeah?''

''Maybe you should sit down.'' she suggested, moving to the other end of the couch to leave enough room for him. ''What are you thinking about?''

He dropped down on the couch, leaving the space between them. He wanted to be close to her but he didn't know how she felt about it. So he wasn't going to risk it. ''Sean.'' he said. ''But also you.''

''Really?'' she asked with anticipation.

''I know Sean broke up with you, JJ. He told me he was going to do it before it even happened.'' he explained. ''He thought we would be good together. That's something I never expected to come from him but it did.''

''So what do you think?'' she asked curiously. ''What do you want?''

Hotch moved closer towards JJ and took her hand in his. He caressed it gently as he looked into her eyes. Her eyes were filled with love and desire. He never cared about anyone like he cared about JJ. What he felt for her was real. But it made it even harder if anything would ever go wrong between them because he didn't want to see her in pain. ''I want you, JJ.'' he breathed out. ''I've wanted you since the first time I ever saw you.'' he said, remembering that time.

Her heart started to race. ''That's good. Great even. But if we do this I don't want you to pull out at the last second.'' she started. ''If we do this I need to know that you're in this for the long haul because I don't want to lose you.''

''I promise I won't do anything wrong.'' he said. ''I promise!'' he repeated.

Hotch suddenly pulled her up on his lap. JJ squealed as she straddled his lap. His hands were on her waist. ''I love you, Aaron.'' she whispered, leaning closer towards him. Their lips were almost touching but she didn't make the first move.

''I love you too.'' he said as he put a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. He cupped her cheek before leaning in to claim her lips. But once he did, he felt the fire burning inside of him. Their lips molded like they were made for each other. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and started to explore. He tasted a hint of coffee. It was typical JJ. He knew it from before. He knew he would never get enough. All her kisses were different. This one was even better than before.

JJ let her thoughts roam as she focused solely on the man she was kissing. She was once again in heaven. If there was a better place than heaven she would even be there because the happiness was taking over. And when she felt Hotch's hand slip under her tank top, she didn't think to stop him. She didn't want to wait but in the back of her mind she knew she had to. He would be breaking the law and he could end up in prison.

Hotch realized he was moving too fast when his hands cupped her bra, so he pulled back as he kept kissing her. When he came up for air he felt chills, seeing the intensity in her expression. ''I think we should stop.'' he said before JJ kissed him again. ''We're both emotional and I don't want to take advantage of that.''

''We can't have sex until I'm eighteen, Aaron.'' JJ stated firmly, noticing the look on his face and she couldn't help but laugh. ''Tom will arrest you if anything happens.''

''I guess we'll have to wait then.'' he agreed. ''I don't mind, JJ. With you it's about so much more than just sex. I've never felt like this about anyone so I'm not going to ruin it this time. We'll wait as long as we have to.''

''I'm happy to hear that!'' she laughed out. ''But that will be eight long months.''

''Oh, I can hold out that long!'' he said immediately. ''I bet you can't.''

''Another bet?'' she asked. ''I'm not making another one. Three was more than enough.''

Hotch smirked as he pushed her off of him in a playful way. ''You can't resist me.'' he said as he hovered on top of her. He leaned down and kissed her lips. He pulled away when JJ was about to kiss him back.

''You're a tease!'' she exclaimed, pushing him away. She sat up on the couch and looked at him with a devilish grin. ''I'm really happy right now.''

''I know. I feel the same.'' he said. ''What do you want to do today?''

''Why don't we just stay here and watch movies or something. I don't want to do too much right now. I'm exhausted.'' she said as she yawned through the sentences.

''I can see that!'' he noticed. ''But I'm glad to hear that because I'm tired as well.'' he said as he gently pulled her against him. ''What kind of movies do you like?''

JJ crawled against his side and looked up into his eyes, feeling safe and comfortable. ''Right now I'm in the mood for a romantic comedy or something. I don't need any suspense or drama.''

Hotch stepped from the couch and walked towards a closet where he had some movies stored. ''When Harry met Sally…?'' he asked. He saw JJ smiling which led him to believe that she would be fine with that movie.

JJ waited for Hotch to sit down next to her before she said anything else. Once he was on the couch, she buried herself in his embrace. ''Only softies have a movie like this in their house. I expected more of you, Aaron.'' she teased. ''I thought you were better than this.''

He smirked as he gave her a playful kiss on her cheek. He turned the TV on and the movie started playing. He had never watched a move with a girlfriend before. The entire setting was new to him but he felt so good. Everything was right. He had JJ with him and nothing in the world could take away what he felt in that moment.

JJ grabbed a pillow from the couch and put it on his lap. She put her head on the pillow and stretched her legs. She knew she could fall asleep any moment. The drama sucked the energy from her and she had no idea how much longer she could hold out before she would fall asleep.


	37. Chapter 36

A/N: Here's the next one. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks Sophia0665, Christiangirl, jenny crum, Westie80, red2013 (I'm so sorry for your loss! I hope you're doing okay.) and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 36: Hint of a normal life**

The next morning JJ stirred in the large bed. She yawned as she opened her eyes. She took in the surrounding, knowing she had slept in Hotch's bed. She remembered waking up after the movie and they had something to eat and after that she changed into Hotch's sweats and she fell asleep before she knew it. She clearly needed the sleep and she felt good for the first time in weeks. But Hotch was missing. He wasn't in the bed. So JJ climbed from the bed in the oversized clothes. The grey shirt showed one of her shoulders and the sweatpants threatened to fall down with every step she took. But she didn't care. Instead, she took a quick look in the mirror before she opened the door. Her long hair was messy and her face was little pale from just waking up, but Hotch had to deal with it. That was what she looked like in the morning and she couldn't change it.

The moment she opened the door, the smell of breakfast his her nostrils. It smelled amazing and she immediately walked towards the kitchen. She felt her stomach rumbling and she knew she was hungry. When she reached the kitchen she saw the seriousness on Hotch's face and she couldn't help but laugh.

He looked up when he heard the laugh coming from the other side of the apartment. ''Good morning, beautiful!'' he said affectionately as he put down the utensils. He made his way towards JJ and stopped in front of her. He leaned down and claimed her lips in a passionate and desirable kiss. She deepened the kiss immediately and his body was once again on fire. He put his hands on her sides and started to push JJ in the other direction. She ended up with her back against the wall and Hotch covered her body with his own. And then he realized they couldn't do further. He wanted to. He needed to but the time wasn't right. So he pulled away from her. ''You look amazing.''

JJ felt like the life was knocked out of her. She was still recovering from the kiss and the sexual tension surrounding it. ''Hi.'' she breathed out, knowing it was all she could say. ''Good morning.'' she whispered against his lips. Their bodies were still close but then Hotch finally pulled away. ''So you can cook?'' she asked, following him into the kitchen.

''Only if I put some effort into it.'' he said. ''But I don't mind making breakfast for you.''

JJ squeezed his arm gently before she jumped on the counter. She was right next to Hotch as he kept making the mix for pancakes. ''You're too sweet.''

''Maybe today, but you know I'm not that sweet.'' he smirked. ''You even hated me in the beginning.''

''You can't blame me!'' she said defensively. ''You acted like a complete ass around Sean and me. You always blocked my path and you know how you acted…'' she pointed out.

Hotch sighed deeply, putting the bowl down. ''What changed your mind? When did you first change your mind about me?''

JJ thought back to months earlier, trying to remember when she first started to like him. ''Well, you weren't bad to look at from the beginning so that was a huge plus. But for me it started at the cemetery.'' she replied. ''That was such a dark moment for me and you pulled me out if. No one has ever been able to do that. You did.'' she explained. ''When did you first know? That you liked me, I mean.''

Hotch smiled, knowing the answer immediately. ''I liked you from the start, JJ. And teasing Sean was something I liked to do because I knew how much he hated it.'' he began. ''Normally when I meet a girl the relationship lasts a month. Maybe two. Not any longer. But with you I knew there was something different and I still can't put my finger on it.'' he went on as he started to make the pancakes. ''You're sweet, sensitive, kind, pure and I just want to be a better person when I'm around you. I just know it's real.''

His words send shivers through her body. The tears were almost stinging in her eyes because of his admission. She never thought anyone would see those things in her but he did. He saw her for who she was and not for what she could be one day. ''You're not so bad yourself.'' she said emotionally.

Hotch heard the trembling of her voice so he immediately turned around to see if she was alright. ''Did I say something wrong?''

''No, you didn't.'' she reassured. ''You're just really amazing.'' she whispered, jumping from the counter. She stepped next to him and just watched him cook. She hadn't been this happy since her family died. She was afraid she would never find that kind of happiness again but she had. In the most unexpected way and it made her realize how lucky she was.

''Pancakes are ready.'' he said, smiling as he looked at JJ who put the two plates on the table. ''I hope you like the eggs and the bacon.''

''It's perfect.'' she said, sitting down in the chair.

''It's probably a little cold though. I can heat it up.''

JJ put her hand on his arm to stop him from standing up. ''It's perfect, Aaron.'' she repeated. ''You don't have to go out of your way to please me. Your company is more than enough. You don't need to do anything special for me. It won't change how I feel.''

''Well,'' he said and he stopped for a moment to let JJ wonder what he was going to say to her. ''I was planning a first date.'' he confessed. ''I guess I should cancel it then?''

JJ almost choked on her pancake. She never thought Hotch would plan a date for them. He wasn't that type of guy. ''A date?''

''No, not anymore.'' he teased.

''A date would be fine!'' JJ said, hoping he was still going through with it. ''I like dates.''

He got the hint. ''Jennifer Jareau, will you go on a date with me?''

''Yes.'' she beamed. ''The food is really good.''

''I can see that. You've almost eaten everything.'' he noticed. ''I'm a guy so I need more food but most of it is already gone I see. I didn't know so much could fit in a tiny person like you.'' he joked.

''You keep underestimating me, buddy.''

Hotch was about to say something when there was a knock on the door. He rose from the chair and slowly made his way to the other side of the apartment, leaving JJ alone at the table. He didn't expect any company so he was wearing his sweats and a simple shirt. But when he opened the door he was surprised.

''Aaron Hotchner?'' one of the officers asked.

''Yeah,'' he replied. ''How can I help you?''

''I'm officer Lang and this is my partner, officer Sanchez.'' Lang introduced before he went on. Proper introductions were always important. ''We spoke to your mother last night about your father. She gave us a statement but we also need yours. We've already arrested your father and we're charging him with domestic violence and assault.'' he explained calmly.

For a moment Hotch wanted to laugh because his father was finally going to pay for his actions but he was able to keep himself together. ''When can I give my statement?'' he offered.

''It would be best to do it at the police station.'' Sanchez replied.

JJ overheard the conversation from the kitchen. She didn't know what she should do. In the end she decided to see what was really going. She made her way towards the door where she saw two officers talking to Hotch. One of them was bald and slightly older than the other.

''Hello.'' JJ greeted politely. ''I'm Jennifer Jareau.'' she introduced shaking both of their hands.

Hotch turned to JJ. ''I'm going to the station to give them my statement.'' he said. ''Maybe you should go home.'' he suggested.

''Yeah, of course.'' she said.

''We'll wait for you outside.'' Lang said before they both left Hotch and JJ to themselves.

Hotch closed the door and turned to JJ. ''My father is being charged with domestic violence and assault.''

''Oh,'' she said, wondering how he felt about it. ''That's good, right?''

''Yes, it is. He needs to pay for what he did to us. His time has come.'' he whispered. He was relieved that it was finally over. He no longer had to worry about Sean's well being around his father. But there was a small part that hurt, even though he wasn't willing to admit it at first. No matter what happened, Daniel was still his father and that was something no one could ever change. Not even Hotch could do it. ''I'm going to change.'' he announced.

JJ sat down on the couch and waited for Hotch to get ready. She wanted to be there for him, knowing this would be hard on him. She didn't want to be the nagging girl but she was on his side no matter what. He deserved it and she wanted to be there, so there was no point in leaving. But she wasn't going to tell Hotch that because he would insist that she would leave because he didn't want to ruin her day.

So as soon as Hotch was ready, JJ told him she would clean up breakfast and that she would leave afterwards. He didn't doubt her for a moment. He kissed her goodbye and left the apartment to meet the officers downstairs while JJ stayed glued to the couch, hoping he was going to be alright. A lot had happened in the last couple of days and she wanted Hotch to have some things to look forward to. He needed a distraction. JJ just hoped she was enough.


	38. Chapter 37

A/N: Here's the next one. Next chapter will reveal Hotch's other secret. I think I have another eight to nine chapters left before this story ends. It might change, but I hope I can stick to my plans for the storyline. I hope you all enjoy this!

Special thanks to jenny crum, Christiangirl, Sophia0665, red2013, CM Fan, Westie80 and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 37: Another promise**

JJ had stayed at Hotch's apartment the entire day. It was almost dinner time when she fell asleep on the couch. She had been sitting around the apartment the entire day and the worrying at taken its toll on her. She had cleaned the apartment and she even watched three movies before she fell asleep.

Hotch sighed deeply as he opened the door to his apartment. At first he didn't notice anyone inside. His mind was racing from the day he had. The cops went over every piece of detail. He had talked to them for over three hours and after leaving the station, he decided to pay Sean a visit. Sean was doing fine. His bruises were already healing and he once again forced Hotch to leave the hospital. And that's when he finally went home. He threw his jacket on the chair. He switched on the light and that was when he saw JJ asleep on his couch. He couldn't believe she had been there all day. She probably had nothing to do. He just didn't know if he should've been angry or thankful for her presence. He told her to leave. He insisted on it and she didn't listen.

Hotch leaned down and he pinched her arms. ''JJ!'' he whispered.

JJ nearly jumped from the couch when she felt someone touching her. She sat straight up as she looked into Hotch's eyes. She was still waking up and her eyes were half open. ''You're back.'' she said happily in a soft tone.

''I told you to leave.'' he began. ''I asked you to leave!'' he said angrily.

JJ was woken up when she noticed the anger in his voice. She didn't know where it was coming from. It probably meant that he had a rough day and he wasn't willing to talk about it like every other time something was bothering him. It was typical for him. Even JJ knew that much about him. He was stubborn. ''I stayed because I was worried.'' she said, yawning through the words. ''I decided to stay so we could talk when you came back.'' she went on. ''And you're back. So, do you want to talk about it?''

Hotch started walking through the apartment with his hands on his head. He had no idea what to do in this situation. He had never been in it before. He never had someone who cared about him like that and it scared the hell out of him. ''I'm glad you wanted to be here for me, but it's over.'' he said. ''I don't need to talk about it.''

''Your brother was put in the hospital by your father and he's being charged with two serious crimes.'' she started. ''I don't believe for one second that you're fine. Please don't lie to me! Not about this!''

''Just go home, JJ. Go home.''

''Don't push me away, Aaron! This is exactly what you do when it gets hard.'' she said calmly. ''But unfortunately for you I'm not planning on going anywhere. I am sticking around so there's no way I'm leaving.''

''Why?''

''Why?'' she repeated in shock. ''Because I love you and you know that.'' she added in a hurry. ''And because…because I'm your friend. Girlfriend?''

''I'm aware of that.''

JJ wanted to smile when he seemed to agree that she was his girlfriend. She didn't expect that to happen but her focus had to shift to Hotch for a little while longer. ''I know when you're in pain, Aaron. And that's what is happening right now. Let me help you.''

''What do you want me to say?'' he yelled out. ''That I cared about my father? That I believed he could change? Or that I am so upset that I want to yell my lungs out?''

Hotch chest was heaving from the yelling. JJ was standing in front of him and he couldn't believe she wasn't shouting at him for his behavior. ''Well, I didn't and I am not.''

''You can yell all you want.'' she whispered as she put her hands on his shoulders. ''I just don't want you to lie to me. Not anymore. We're supposed to talk about these things.''

''You want to know how I feel?'' he asked while he pulled away from her. ''Ever since I met you, I've been starting to feel and it sucks. I hate that I care. I hate that this happened to me. I hate that I hate everything.'' he said.

JJ saw that the tears were threatening to fall down his face. She had never seen him cry and she knew if he did it would be real. ''I want to be here when you feel bad. I want to be the one you can talk to.'' she began. ''But you can't keep lying to me, Aaron. That's not what I want anymore, especially if we want to make this work. Because I do.''

He sighed deeply, taking a step towards her. They were only a few inches apart and he felt himself calming down. Somehow she had that affect on him. ''I know, JJ. I promise I won't lie to you anymore because I want this to work.'' he started. ''I think this could be very real. What we have is rare and I don't want to take it for granted.'' he went on. ''But there will be times when I feel like I need some space. I've been on my own for four years so this is new for me.''

''I get that. I really do but I don't want to be hurt by you again, Aaron. I can't keep putting my heart on the line while you do whatever you feel like doing.'' she said, the tears stinging in her eyes. Her eyes were clear as if they were washed clean. ''I'm not saying that we have to be together all the time because that's not important to me. I just need to be able to trust you and that's still hard for me.'' she admitted, seeing his face fall. ''I just don't want to lose you.''

''You won't lose me. I promise you.'' he whispered as he pulled her into his arms. He gently caressed her back as he put a kiss on her head. ''I'll never let you go without a fight, JJ. This is it me for me. Nothing can ever change that.''

''I believe you.''

As Hotch stood there with JJ in his arms, he realized he was strong. He had found his other half in life. Even that was something he never expected to happen. He knew he would never let that go. Not willingly because JJ was everything he was ever going to need to stay alive. She was his lifeline and he hoped nothing would ever change between them, but he knew there still was one thing he had to tell her but he didn't know how. It could be life changing for her. And it could be a reason for her to leave him. But he knew he had to tell her soon. He couldn't keep that secret from her. It was too big. ''I'm glad.'' he whispered while she was still in his arms.


	39. Chapter 38

A/N: Here's the next one. I hope everyone likes it!

Special thanks to Westie80, Sophia0665, jenny crum, red2013, CM Fan, Christiangirl and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 38: Facing reality**

JJ had spent another night with Hotch and she felt extremely happy. But the weekend was almost over which meant she had to go back to school the next day. She wished she could stay in her bubble for a while longer but Sara and Tom wanted her to come home. She told them she stayed with Stacy, knowing they would've never let her stay at Hotch's apartment alone. They didn't even know about the incident at the Hotchner residence. Apparently her uncle hadn't heard anything about the case yet and that was definitely a good thing because she didn't want him involved in that part of her life. She knew he would hate the fact that she was with an older guy so she had to be careful.

JJ had been trying to find some decent clothes to wear, but each drawer she opened had man clothes in them. Hotch told her he had some clothes from a girl he used to date. He just didn't tell where she could find them. And he went to get some groceries so she couldn't ask them. She didn't feel like walking around in his shirts all day. Although she liked the idea of wearing his shirt. Right now she was walking around in his favorite dark blue shirt and she thought about sneaking it out of his apartment, hoping he didn't notice.

JJ opened another drawer and she finally found some girly clothes but everything looked to big so she pulled everything from the closet and put it on his bed. When she removed the last item of clothing it fell from her hand when she noticed something at the bottom. There was a stack of paper and news articles. But the thing that caught her attention was the picture of her and Sean. It was taken before she ever knew Hotch. She had no idea why he had it or how he got it in the first place. She pulled the stack from the drawer and put everything down on the bed. There were articles about the accident she was in and dozens of photos of her and Sean. Another thing that scared her were the names crossed out in a page of the phonebook. She kept looking through all the information and she realized Hotch had known about the accident all along and he didn't tell her. Her suspicions were confirmed when she noticed a bracelet between the papers. She wore it the night of the accident. It used to be belong to her grandmother and the police never recovered it from the scene. She always wondered why they didn't find it.

JJ jumped from the bed with tears in her eyes when the door to the bedroom opened. She clutched the bracelet in her hands and she ran to the other side of the room when Hotch stepped inside.

He immediately noticed the chaos in the room and JJ crying in the corner. ''JJ?'' he asked as he approached her. He looked over at the bed and he noticed what she had found. ''JJ, let me explain!'' he tried to say but she interrupted him.

''Explain!'' she cried out. ''Who the hell do you think you are?''

''I wanted to tell you! I have tried so many times.'' he began, trying to get closer to her but she held up her hand. ''JJ…'' he pleaded.

She took a step forward, not knowing what was going on and she didn't know if she ever wanted to know. Was he the one who killed her family? Had he been following her?

''What is this?'' she croaked out. ''Why do you have articles about the car crash?'' she asked. ''And how do you have this?'' she asked, holding up the bracelet.

''I need you to listen to me.''

''What am I to you? What do I mean to you?'' she cried out. ''What the hell is going on?''

He sighed deeply as he tried to fight his own emotions. He never wanted her to find out like this. It wasn't the right time or the right way. But nothing would ever make this situation right. ''You mean the world to me, JJ.'' he replied. ''You've been the only thing on my mind since I met you. You're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You're amazing and special.''

''And how did you know that?'' she yelled out. ''Before you came into town and came into my life? Before we started a relationship?''

''I figured it out before we ever met.'' he answered honestly.

''What?'' she whispered. She had no idea what he was saying to her or trying to explain. She just knew he had been lying to her about everything. ''What do you mean?'' she asked when she got no answer.

''The first time we met wasn't last summer, JJ. It was the summer before that.'' he began. ''On your birthday to be exact.''

''But that's the day of the accident.'' she cried out.

He remembered that day by heart. He saw the accident. He had to witness it with his own eyes. ''I was there when it happened.''

''What?'' she said, her trembling. ''No one was there. There were no witnesses. That can't be true!''

''I was there, JJ.'' he began. ''I decided to come home that night. When I reached the house I saw my father walking outside. He looked drunk and he stepped into his car and he drove away so I decided to follow him. He drove around for two hours.'' he said, stumbling through the sentences. ''He didn't stop at the red light and he drove into another car. He hit the drivers' side of the car you were in. I saw the collision and then the car rolled over. My father drove off and I knew I couldn't drive away without checking on the people inside.'' he explained.

''Your father?'' she cried out as she dropped to the floor. She leaned against the wall behind her. Her arms went around her body as she started to break down.

He kneeled down in front of her and he tried to comfort her but she pulled away. ''I ran from my car and I checked on everyone inside the car. But your parents and sister were already dead. I checked your pulse and you were still alive.''

''The footsteps.'' she remembered. ''I heard loud footsteps approaching the car. That was you. I heard you before I lost consciousness.'' she said as she realized that the pieces about the accident were finally falling into place.

''I pulled you from the wreckage and I waited with you after I called 911. I left when the ambulance was close. I didn't want to turn in my father back then. I was a coward and I left, JJ.'' he explained. ''I went home and I tried to forget the accident. I partied every night. I got drunk and hang out with every girl who wanted me around, trying to forget your face and the image of the collision. But nothing worked.'' he stumbled, feeling his own tears threatening to fall. ''So I started looking for you. I gathered information but I only got your first name and I had no idea where you were living so I had to give up.''

''So when you came back you didn't know I was with Sean?''

''I did know.'' he answered. ''One day I went on facebook and decided to check out Sean's profile and then it was as if faith called out to me. I saw you in a picture with him and I recognized you instantly. It was then that I decided to drop by the house.'' he went on. ''But you were so sad and I never had the courage to tell you. And as time went on my feelings about you were confirmed, JJ. When I pulled you from the wreckage I changed. That situation forced to change and I knew you were different.''

''How did you know that?'' she asked when she didn't understand those feelings. ''I mean, I was unconscious.''

''I honestly don't know but I felt myself drawn to you.''

''Oh my god!'' she exclaimed when everything finally sank in. ''No one figured out why I wasn't in the car. They never knew how I survived it.''

''I'm so sorry. I should've told you sooner but you were so hurt. I just couldn't do it.''

''So you waited for me to figure it out?'' she snapped as she rose from the floor. Everything was hurting. She couldn't deal with this. The accident had always been a mystery. Her own survival was a mystery and now she found out that the guy she loved had the answer all that time and he just kept it from her. ''How could you lie to me about the most painful thing in my life? How could you?''

Hotch stepped in JJ's way to keep her from leaving. ''Don't leave like this!'' he begged.

''I always wanted to know the truth and I got it.'' she cried out. ''I know now.''

''Please talk to me!''

She was completely breaking down. Nothing seemed real. Her life was falling apart as she was trying to keep it together. But every time something seemed to look up another part was crumbling down. ''I can't. I can't. I just can't. Not right now.'' she said. ''You promised me! You told me you wouldn't lie!'' she shot back before she passed him by.

Hotch was frozen in his spot when he heard the door close. He didn't know if he could ever fix this. It seemed impossible. His entire life suddenly seemed impossible.


	40. Chapter 39

A/N: Here's another one. As always. I hope you all enjoy this!

Special thanks to Westie80, jenny crum, Sophia0665, Christiangirl, CM Fan, red2013, Katia XD and handsome-uks!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 39: Unconditional love**

JJ went straight home after she stormed out of Hotch's apartment. The shock had completely taken her over and she didn't know what to think. Hotch was the reason she was alive. He saved her. He was the one who kept her living and that still seemed unreal to JJ. But he was also the one who kept her in the dark for months. He was walking around with vital information in the hit and run and he kept it from her. Even after he promised to be honest with her. So she no longer knew what to think because the guy she loved had broken another promise to her. She didn't want to deal with it but she had to. She needed to tell Sara and Tom about what she just found out. They wanted justice just like JJ. Their family deserved it. Their lives were taken because one person decided to drink. It wasn't fair. It never was but at least now she knew who the person behind the wheel was. She no longer had to wonder about the scenarios. She knew the truth and she was going to use it to put Daniel away in prison. He was probably going to serve a few years for the domestic violence and assault but the death of three innocent people was going to give him a few more years in prison and JJ knew she would do anything to keep him there. She didn't know what Hotch would think about it but she didn't really want to know. She just wanted his father to pay for taking the lives of her family.

JJ forced herself to focus when she heard the knock on her bedroom door. She called Stacy once she left Hotch's house. She needed someone to talk to. But JJ and Stacy hadn't had a meaningful conversation since the ordeal with Hotch. She knew Stacy had forgiven her but she just didn't know if their friendship would still be the same when it came to secrets and troubles in their lives. There was just one way to find out.

JJ climbed from her bed and quickly made her way towards the door. She opened it in a hurry. ''Hey,'' she greeted when Stacy was standing in front of her.

Stacy immediately noticed the sadness on JJ's face. Her pace was pale as if the life was drained from her body. Her hands were shaking and there were traces of tears on her cheeks. ''Hi,'' Stacy greeted back. ''JJ, what happened?'' she asked with concern.

''I found out who killed my family.'' she cried out as she dropped down to the edge of the bed. Stacy closed the door in the meantime and eventually sat down next to her.

''What? How? Who?'' she stumbled, knowing this was something big. JJ had told her everything about the accident and she knew it had always been a mystery that she was the only survivor.

''Daniel Hotchner!'' she replied in anger. ''He killed my parents and he's been walking around like nothing happened for over a year.''

''Oh my god!'' Stacy exclaimed. ''How did you find out?''

''Aaron witnessed the accident. He was there when it happened.'' she explained. It was still sinking in because it sounded ridiculous. The chances were one in a thousands and Hotch happened the be the one witness to the worst night of her life. ''I just found out because I found news articles and photos. He has been lying to me this entire time.''

''I'm so sorry, JJ.''

''I just don't know what to do right now.'' she began. ''I hope you don't mind that I called you.''

''No, of course not.'' Stacy assured immediately. ''You're my best friend in this world and nothing will ever change that. I know Aaron got between us, JJ. But I've been over it for a long time. I'm not mad at you. I haven't been for a long time.''

''I'm happy to hear that.''

''I just can't believe that he kept this information from you for so long. It's not right.'' Stacy started. ''You don't do that to the people you claim to love.''

''I know.'' JJ agreed. ''But he's the one who saved me, Stacy. He pulled me from the car and stayed with me until the ambulances arrived. He did safe my life.''

''So what?'' she said. ''He protected his father too long, JJ. He even did it at the expense of your family. Your uncle has been working on this case. You told me that.''

''I know.''

''So you think you need to forgive him? Or do you feel like you owe him something?''

JJ shook her head. ''No, I don't feel like that. Not at all.'' she replied. ''But he makes me happy. He can turn my entire day around.'' she began. ''After the accident my entire life changed and I felt like I didn't belong without my family. It was as if I had no reason to live and I didn't.'' she went on. ''Then I met you and Sean. You guys made living worth it again and I began to realize that.''

''What does Aaron have to do with all of this?''

''With Sean everything was good. Great even.'' JJ explained. ''But then Aaron came into my life and I hated him at first. But every time I saw him, I felt like smiling. He gave me that happy feeling.'' she added. ''He just consumes me. He makes my days lighter and he takes away all the bad. I love him.''

''He completes you?''

''I guess he does. And I hate that because we hurt so many people to get to where we are now.'' she said. ''And I wish I never met him in the first place because this hurts and it don't want it to be like this, but in the end I can't lose this feeling I have for him.''

''So what are you going to do next?''

''I want to fix this. I don't want this to end in a break-up.''

At that exact moment the doorbell rang. Stacy walked towards the window and looked down. She saw Hotch standing in front of the door. ''Well, you can do it now.''

''What?''

''He's here, JJ.'' she answered. ''He's downstairs.''

JJ slowly rose from the bed and walked towards the door. She turned around one more time to face Stacy.

''I'll wait right here.''

''Okay. I'll be right back.'' JJ said. She closed the door to her bedroom and hurried downstairs. She took one deep breath before she opened the front door. She didn't know what to say to Hotch. So when she finally opened the door, she saw the panic in his eyes and it only made matters worse. She was so angry with him but at the same time she didn't want to be. She loved the guy in front of her and she felt so bad that he hurt her. He already hurt her twice and she just didn't know if she would ever trust him with her whole heart.

''I don't know if I want to see you right now.'' she whispered as stared down at the ground. She couldn't look at him. He would only confuse her more than he already had. ''You should go.''

''What does this mean, JJ?'' he asked bluntly. ''Is this over. Between us?'' he stated.

She finally looked up with the tears in her eyes. ''I don't know what this means, Aaron.'' she replied. ''But I know it means, you lied to me again! I know this means that I was right to not fully truth you.''

''You can trust me, JJ. You can!'' he started. ''I've been living in such a dark place but that was until I met you. You pulled me out of it. You make me feel alive.'' he went on as he took a step closer but JJ immediately took one back. ''I couldn't tell you because I knew it would destroy you. I mean, look at what's happening right now.''

She shook her head as he talked. ''It wasn't your right to decide that about me. It never has been.'' she yelled out. ''What about my family? What about justice?'' she pointed out as she folded her arms across her chest. ''My family was killed, Aaron. You knew and you sat on a lead for over a year. You did more harm than good by keeping this a secret.''

''I know!''

''No, you don't know!'' she shot back. ''Tom works every single free minute on this case because he wants to catch the guy. Sara blames herself because she didn't have time to come to East-Allegheny for my birthday. They're going crazy.'' she cried out. ''But the only one to blame is your dead beat father who didn't have to guts to come forward.''

''JJ, listen to me…''

JJ felt like laughing when she listened to him. ''Listen to you?'' she asked. ''Is there anything else you haven't told me?'' she added. ''I don't think you should leave anything out because even the smallest secret will make me go mad.''

''I slept with Haley about three days ago.''

''Perfect!'' she said as she clapped in her hands. ''Just what I needed to hear right now.''

''You asked…''

JJ couldn't believe him. ''Yeah, I did.'' she said and as she looked into his eyes she felt the anger wash away and she hated that he did that. ''I just hate that I can't be mad at you because I love you so much.''

''JJ, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me.''

''I do believe you, Aaron. But I just wish you said something sooner.'' she explained as she felt the anger in her body disappear. ''I just love you, even though you can be such a bad person. I still love you.''

''Thanks, I guess.'' he said, questioning whether she meant it or not. ''But JJ when you and I became friends I told you to take me for who I was. I can't change who I am.'' he began. ''I make bad choices and I'm selfish but those things don't mean that I love you any less. Sometimes I just need to think before I do something and this time I never thought about it.''

JJ was silent as he went on. ''But I would prefer to see you happy instead of sad and heartbroken. So that's why I didn't tell you.'' he explained. ''I just can't apologize for who I am.''

''I know and I made the choice to be with you.'' she said. ''And it might be the biggest mistake I'll ever make because you can hurt me so much more but I can't help that I am completely in love with you.'' she said as Hotch made his way towards her.

He leaned down as he cupped her face and he claimed her lips in a gentle passionate kiss. This was the best kiss by far. It was unplanned and unexpected. The amount of passion was off the charts and he felt himself lose complete control over his body. He groaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Her hand was around his neck while the other was in his hair. And as always he just got lost in her and there was nothing else in the world he would want to do. Kissing JJ was perfection and he knew nothing would ever be better.


	41. Chapter 40

A/N: Here's the next one. I hope everyone likes it!

Special thanks to Westie80, Sophia0665, jenny crum, AvngAngl, red2013, Christiangirl and CM Fan!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 40: Justice**

_**One week later…**_

The next week that passed by was busy for both JJ and Hotch. They both had school and after JJ found out the truth she started to think about how to tell her aunt and uncle about the accident. She didn't know how to do it so Hotch decided to give Tom his statement. His offer made JJ unbelievably happy because it meant that Daniel Hotchner was going to be charged with another three additional crimes and he might never get out of prison again.

JJ turned to her side as she and Hotch stood in front of the door to her house. ''Are you ready to do this?'' she asked.

Hotch shook his head in response. He followed JJ inside once she opened the door. She made her way to the kitchen where both Sara and Tom were already waiting for them. When Hotch saw them, he felt the nerves everywhere. He had no idea what JJ's family was going to say to him. He expected them to be angry just like JJ was. But he wanted to proof to JJ that he did love her and this seemed like the only way to show her that. ''Hello,'' Hotch greeted as he stepped next to JJ. He had seen Sara one time but he had never met Tom before. He actually had a friendly expression.

''It's Aaron, right?'' Tom asked as he rose from the chair to shake his hand. ''Nice to meet you.''

''Likewise.'' Hotch said politely. He gave Sara a friendly nod before he sat down next to JJ.

''There's something Aaron and I need to tell you.'' JJ started but she was interrupted by a frantic Sara.

''Are you pregnant?'' she asked in a hurry as she clutched her hands together. The entire situation felt awkward and it was as if JJ was about to drop a bomb on her and Tom. She had been quiet and secretive for an entire week. It wasn't like JJ to be closed off. Not like this. It was very unnatural for her.

''No!'' Aaron said immediately. ''We haven't…JJ and I didn't….we won't!'' he stumbled.

''I'm not pregnant, Sara. Don't worry!'' JJ assured. ''This is about the accident.''

Tom and Sara looked at each other before they turned their attention to JJ and Hotch. ''Is there anything else you want to know about what happened?'' Tom asked, not knowing that the lead he had been looking for was sitting right in front of him. It would be the way to break the case and there would finally be justice for the death of his family.

''Aaron was there when it happened.'' JJ stated simply. She felt the mood change instantly. ''He didn't cause he the accident. He just witnessed it.'' she explained, hoping Hotch would take over soon because she didn't want to tell the hardest part.

Tom immediately grabbed his notepad. ''Can you tell me what happened? Can you describe the other driver?'' he summed up.

''But you knew for over a year?'' Sara wondered out loud with confusion in her voice. ''Why would you wait so long to come forward?''

Hotch sighed before he could answer all the questions. ''Because my father is the one who killed your family.'' he said as his hands were shaking. ''I followed him for two hours and then he drove through a red light and he caused the accident. But he didn't stop to check on the people in the other car. He drove off so I tried to help, but only JJ was alive. I pulled her from the car and called 911.''

JJ saw that her aunt and uncle were both speechless. Tom's notepad was blank and Sara was just staring off into the distance with tears in her eyes, realizing that JJ was extremely lucky to be alive. ''I found out about a week ago.'' JJ explained.

''I can't take your official statement because I am family so I need you to give it to the detective on the case. They won't accept any leads that come from me.''

''I will do anything that's necessary. I want my father to pay for his actions.'' he explained. ''I know I should've told someone sooner but I didn't know how.''

''It's fine, Aaron.'' Sara said. ''I'm so thankful that you told us. This is going to be a huge relief for all of us.''

Tom knew Hotch's statement would help the investigation and it was everything they needed to put Daniel Hotchner behind bars. But Tom was the only one who knew that he was getting out on bail. ''I heard that your father is getting out on bail, Aaron. If you come to the police station right now we can arrest him and charge him. This time he won't be able to get out.''

''Sure,'' he said, rising from the chair at the same time as Tom. He turned to JJ. ''I'll see you later.''

''Yeah,'' she whispered softly as she let go of his hands. She watched Tom and Hotch walk out of the house. She was happy that Hotch was willing to help but she also knew it was going to hurt him because he was putting his father away behind bars.

''This can't be easy for him.'' Sara said suddenly. ''He's putting his father in prison, JJ. Do you realize what that means?''

''I do,'' she answered. ''It means he cares about more than his own feelings. But he wants his father to pay because he also hurt his family. This isn't just for us, Sara.'' she went on. ''His dad was charged with domestic violence and assault.''

Sara shook her head, realizing Hotch actually didn't have an easy life. ''It's amazing that he's doing this.''

''I know.'' JJ agreed in a whisper. Deep down she didn't know what it would mean to truly turn on your own father. JJ couldn't even imagine doing it. It wasn't something she would ever understand. But she did know that Daniel Hotchner deserved to go to prison for his actions.

* * *

About three hours later both Sara and JJ had joined Aaron and Tom at the police station. The lead detective on the case took Hotch's statement and decided to arrest Daniel Hotchner. Tom was allowed to make the official arrest and it felt good that he could finally do something for Sara and JJ. It was time that they could begin to heal from the all the pain they suffered. Especially JJ. He knew JJ still had the hardest time. She was the one who experienced the accident so no one would ever really understand what she was feeling or thinking. He was just happy that the first part was over.

Tom drove towards the motel where Daniel was staying. Sara, JJ and Aaron were in the car with him. He knew they wanted to be there for the arrest. They had to witness it with their own eyes. He understood that. He turned around in the car. He looked at everyone once. ''You need to stay in the car. This can't go wrong or he might walk away from all of this. So stay here.'' he ordered.

He jumped from the car and made his way towards his partner and the lead detective on the case. ''Are you ready for this, Ricky?'' he asked his partner and best friend.

''Let's go get the son of a bitch, Tom. This is what you've been waiting for all of this time.'' Ricky said.

''You can make the arrest Murphy!'' Detective Freedman called out. He had no objections with it. As long as everything went smoothly. That was the most important thing.

''Thanks,'' Tom said. He looked at the car one more time before he made his way to the room where Daniel was staying. He made a short run before he ended up in front of the room. He knocked once. ''Daniel Hotchner! It's the police. Open up!'' he yelled out. He heard movement on the other side of the room. The door opened and he saw the man standing on the other side. It took everything he had within him to not punch him in the face.

''How can I help you?'' Daniel asked.

''Turn around.'' he ordered. ''You're under arrest!''

''I just got out on bail.'' Daniel contradicted. He had no idea what was going on. ''What is this?'' he asked angrily.

A smirk appeared on Tom's face. ''You are under arrest for the murders of Victor Jareau, Eva Jareau and Nicole Jareau!'' he began when he heard the other law enforcement officers joining him to make sure everything was okay. ''You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you!''

''I didn't kill anyone!'' Daniel said defensively. He had never heard of those names in his entire life. ''What am I being charged with?''

''Well, I spoke with the DA, Daniel…'' Tom began. ''You're being charged with three counts of vehicular homicide by intoxication and three counts of vehicular homicide by recklessness.'' he answered. He decided to walk away afterwards, knowing it was too hard to be close to the man. But he was finally arrested and his search could stop. It was over and it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.


	42. Chapter 41

A/N: Here's next chapter. The next chapter will be M-rated. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks Sohpia0665, red2013, Westie80, jenny crum and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 41: Birthday wishes**

_**Eight months later…**_

Eight long months passed by since the arrest of Daniel Hotchner. So many things had happened afterwards, but in the end everyone was as happy as they could be. JJ's life had become calm and filled with love. Her relationship with Hotch had only progressed. They were both in it for the right reasons and those facts became more apparent every single day leading up to JJ's birthday. She was so excited about her birthday but at the same time it was also the anniversary of her family's death which brought some pain into the day, but overall it was a day she was looking forward to. It wasn't just summer but Sean, Stacy and JJ also graduated and were going to college in the fall. Their lives were really just beginning and the excitement was pretty big for JJ. She had signed up to multiple colleges and she decided to go to Georgetown so she was close to Hotch. All of her dreams were coming true and she felt like her life was perfect. She had everything she could've ever wanted. The drama of the past had completely faded away and she hoped it would stay away.

As for Hotch his life was pretty much nothing he ever imagined it to be. It was even better. He was still head over heels for JJ and he knew he would never be able to love another girl like he loved her. JJ brought happiness into his life in the most unbelievable ways. It was something that still shocked him every day. His relationship with Sean was good and they saw each other almost every two days. He was happy that his little brother was back into his life. Sean often needed advise about how to deal with his feelings. He was still dealing with the fact that their father was sentenced to life in prison. It was a hard fact but it was the right thing. He had torn apart too many lives to get away without consequences.

JJ was kneeled down in front of the gravestones with Hotch right behind her. She wanted to visit the cemetery after she left her party. It had been one hell of a day. She woke up, only to be surprised by Sara and Tom. They ate breakfast together and after that they told JJ they had a surprise. The surprise was a big party at Sean's house. All of her friends came over and of course Hotch and Stacy were there. She had received dozens of gifts, but the one thing she really wanted was to go to Hotch's apartment and end up in his bed. They had waited for eight long months and it felt too long. She was more ready than she was ever going to be.

''I love you guys.'' JJ said sadly but she stayed glued to the ground. ''I wish you were all here. Right now I really need your advice, Nic.'' she went on. ''Do you see that gorgeous dangerous looking guy behind me?'' she asked. ''Yes, he's my boyfriend and he's so adorable.'' she sighed out. In her head she heard her sister talking to her. _Go get him, tiger! _It was something Nicole would say. It was her. She was the crazy party girl but not in a bad way.

Hotch watched as JJ was kneeled in front of the headstones. He wanted to give her some space. He knew JJ was dealing with her loss day by day but it got a little better with each day that passed. He saw that JJ rose from the ground so he immediately made his way towards her. ''Are you okay?'' he asked with concern. ''We can stay longer if you want to.'' he assured.

''No, I'm fine.'' she said to let him know she was alright. ''I want to go to your apartment.'' she hinted.

''Sure,'' he agreed, knowing what she was mentioning. He wanted to sleep with JJ. Badly even. He had waited eight long months but he wasn't going to risk her feelings by taking things too fast. He wanted everything to be right. ''Let's go!''

JJ turned around one more time before she followed Hotch. She left with a feeling of contempt. She would never forget her parents or what happened to them, but JJ learned a lot from the accident. She learned new things about life, family and love. It caused her to grow up in the most unexpected ways.

* * *

JJ and Hotch had been hanging around the apartment for an hour. JJ was crawled against his side on the couch as the TV was on. Nothing interesting was on the screen but she just loved to crawl against his side. She had never known a safer feeling. It felt like heaven and she never wanted to lose that feeling.

JJ pulled away from Hotch, grabbing the remote. She turned off the TV to get his attention. He tried to get it from her hands but JJ threw it on the chair. ''It's time for something else!''

''Oh, really?'' Hotch asked as JJ straddled his lap. He put his hands on her hips and he slowly traced his hands along her sides, feeling her body shiver. He liked that he had that affect on her. ''What were you thinking?'' he asked, feeling the excitement in his body rise.

JJ slowly leaned forward as she looked into his eyes. She saw her desire reflected in his eyes. The feeling was amazing. ''Something like this.'' she whispered softly before she kissed his lips. And what was supposed to be a short kiss turned into a long one with Hotch ending up on top of JJ.

Hotch pushed the hem of her top upwards as his hands explored her toned body. He let his hands move along her smooth skin as he kissed her deeply. The heat in the room was rising as his own heart was beating faster with every swipe of JJ's tongue.

JJ felt Hotch's hands move towards her bra and she didn't want to stop him but she had to before they got too far. She had a present for him and she hoped he would like it. ''Hold that thought!'' she said, pushing him off of her.

Hotch sat back in shock as JJ disappeared into his bedroom. He had no idea what just happened. Everything seemed to be going smoothly and now he wondered if he did something wrong. But his worries faded away when JJ returned a couple of moments later. He was speechless. His jaw dropped when she stopped in front of him. He didn't know what to say or do. He could only look as his eyes traveled along each line and curve of her body. She was truly perfect and he had no idea how he got so lucky.

He rose from the couch and stopped in front of JJ. She was wearing a black see through babydoll. The panties and the small bra didn't leave much to the imagination. She looked absolutely gorgeous. ''You're so beautiful, JJ.'' he whispered into her ear.

JJ felt the spark going up her spine as she felt his hands on her back. ''Are you ready?'' she wondered out loud.

''More than ever!'' he breathed out before he picked her up from the ground.


	43. Chapter 42

A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it! It's M-rated. I didn't go heavy smut because I don't feel I am any good at it.

Special thanks to Sophia0665, CM Fan, Lexis4MorganPrentiss, Westie80 and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 42: Wishes come true**

JJ squealed as Hotch threw JJ over his shoulder. He made his way towards the bedroom. Once he stood in front of the bed, he gently put JJ down and he hovered above her. He could see the desire and love in her eyes. It made his insides tingle and he knew he had never felt like that before. He had never known what butterflies meant and now he did. He had realized all along that it was going to be a moment he would never forget. JJ pulled him from his own thoughts. She challenged him. But the best thing was that she made him want to be a better man. He couldn't be selfish with her. He wanted her to be happy and he would always put her happiness ahead of his own.

JJ cupped his face, knowing he was thinking about something. ''What are you thinking about?'' she asked affectionately as she kept her arms around his neck.

''You.'' he replied simply. ''I love you so much. I will never forget the time we've shared so far, JJ. It has been the best time in my life.''

She pulled him in for a searing kiss. ''I love you too.'' she whispered against his lips. ''But now is not the time to be sweet.'' she teased, putting her legs around his body. She intertwined her legs at his back and she pushed him closer against her own body. ''Show me!'' she whispered.

''What?'' he asked as he started kiss her neck. His hands were pushing up her babydoll.

''That you love me.'' she whispered as she got lost in the sensation of his lips against her neck. She knew she was barely going to be holding on because the man was always able to drive her crazy. His touches were insanely hot and she didn't know how much longer she could hold her patience.

''Oh, I will.'' he whispered as he pulled away from her at the same time. He pulled off his dark blue shirt and he threw it on the ground. He also grabbed JJ's babydoll and pulled it over her head when she held her arms up to help him. He stopped one second to look at her and he felt the desire in his body blow him away.

JJ sat up as Hotch was kneeled in front of her on the bed. She put her hands on his muscles and she leaned forward to kiss every part of his upper buddy. She heard Hotch groan in response. She knew he had a low patience level when it came to that kind of contact. So she wasn't surprised when his hands came up to her breasts and her bra disappeared within seconds. His touches on her body made her so unfocused that she sat still.

Hotch pushed JJ back down on the bed as he began to explore her body. He quickly pulled off her panties and he once again leaned on top of her. ''You're so beautiful.'' he whispered as he put a trail of kisses from her neck to the valley of her breasts. He groaned out when he felt JJ's body moving against his own. It drove him crazy to the point of distraction.

So the only option was to shed all his clothes. All his clothes joined the pile on the ground, but his focus was only on the girl who was with him. There was nothing else he could think about. ''Are you sure?'' he asked. He wanted JJ's permission to let her know it was all her choice. He wasn't going to hurt her.

''Yeah,'' she whispered, her voice filled with desire and love. Her impatience was noticeable.

Hotch kissed her deeply as he slowly pushed forward. Their bodies literally melted together as he carefully thrust into her. It was perfection and he felt all his worries and troubles fade away. It was like they were all alone in the world and no one could ever burst their bubble.

They moved together in a steady rhythm, moaning at contact and feel of the long awaited moment. For both of them it was more than they ever expected. It was this unbelievable feeling of completion from both sides and JJ wondered if anyone would ever give her a feeling like that. She knew the simple answer had to be a no.

Hotch's movements became unsteady as his body was about to explode. And with one final move, he dragged them both over the edge. He kept himself up on his arms to keep himself from crushing her. Afterwards he fell down next to her and pulled her close against his body, enjoying the magic of the moment.

JJ felt his arms around her body and she realized she never wanted to lose him. She wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. She knew she was young and every person would tell her to not be naïve but in that moment she just knew how real their relationship was.

''You love me.'' she whispered as she turned on her side to face him. ''That was…so amazing.'' she breathed out.

He leaned forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips. ''I know.'' he whispered. ''What is it about you that pulls me in?'' he wondered out loud. He still hadn't figured it out. He knew certain things about her were rare and he loved that but there were still many things he couldn't figure out.

''I don't know.'' she said with a smile that grew on her face. ''I'm not inside your head.''

''You're like this magnate with healing powers.'' he began as he put a strand of hair behind her ear. ''I mean, I've never fallen for anyone. Not this hard.'' he went on. ''You keep surprising me with your views, morals and personality. You're just such a good person that I often wonder how I deserve to be with you.''

JJ was about to say something when there was a loud knock on the door. She saw Hotch looking at the door but she hoped he would just let it go. She was enjoying the moment too much.

''I'll be right back.'' he said as he climbed from the bed. He quickly put on his boxers and sweatpants before he walked out the room. He made a run towards the front door, not knowing what to expect. But when he opened the door he almost fainted and he couldn't get a word from his mouth. He just looked at the woman in front of him. But he mostly looked down, noticing the huge difference. ''Haley?'' he stuttered.

JJ walked into the living room in Hotch's dark blue shirt, seeing a pretty brunette standing in front of her boyfriend. ''Aaron?'' she questioned as she realized something strange was happening.


	44. Chapter 43

A/N: Here's the next chapter. The next chapter of this story will be the last one. I have had the hardest time writing this because I hate to do this, but I need to let this happen to move forward to my sequel, which I'm already working on. So I hope you all won't hate me!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, red2013, Christiangirl, CM Fan, jenny crum, Westie80 and guest!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 43: My life**

From behind him he heard JJ calling out his name in a whisper. He wanted to turn around but the sight in front of him made him dizzy. It was Haley. But not a normal Haley. It was Haley with a very big belly. She was pregnant and it looked like she was pretty far along and the first thing in his mind was that it was his kid. It had to be. He knew Haley was never the kind of girl to sleep around. ''You…you…'' he said, pointing at her stomach. ''You're pregnant?''

JJ's curiosity was getting the best of her. Hotch looked stunned and shocked. So she took another step forward and she noticed that the brunette was pregnant. She had no idea who she was, so JJ thought she wanted to know something. ''Can we help you?'' she asked as she took a step next to Hotch. But when she really looked in his face, she saw the desperation and she didn't like it. The tension suddenly grew when no one talked or did anything. ''What's going on?'' she asked, her voice trembling.

Haley stepped forward when she noticed how beautiful the blonde was. She was the kind of girl everyone would be threatened by, but she didn't look mean. She actually looked very kind and friendly which was a huge surprise because Hotch usually had a very different taste in women. ''Hi!'' she greeted. ''I am Haley.'' she said, shaking JJ's limp hand.

''Haley?'' she repeated. ''Haley Brooks?'' she said, looking over at Hotch who was still staring off into the distance. ''Can we help you?''

''Well, it would be nice if Aaron would unfreeze so we can talk about the fact that he's going to be a daddy very soon.'' Haley said with all honesty. She had no idea what was going on so there was no reason for her to lie.

''Oh my god!'' JJ whispered as her hand went to her mouth. Hotch finally looked her in the eye for the first time and his eyes confirmed it. She turned around and stormed into the bedroom to get changed. She didn't believe it. She couldn't believe it.

''JJ!'' Hotch called out as he followed her. But he turned around when he realized Haley was still there. ''Have a seat.'' he invited.

''Thanks.'' Haley said, realizing she stepped into a tricky situation.

Hotch walked into his bedroom where he noticed that JJ was gathering her clothes in a frenzy. She was wearing her skinny jeans with dark blue shirt on it and he knew she was leaving. He didn't know what to say. It was all still a shock to him. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not after everything they had been through to get to their point of happiness. And now it seemed like everything might fall apart.

''JJ! Stop!'' he said loudly.

JJ was checking if she had all her belongings when she heard his voice. It made her snap from her panic and she stopped right in front of him. There he stood in all his glory. His eyes filled guilt and regret.

Hotch put his hands on her waist and slowly guided her to the wall behind her. He pushed his body into hers and he leaned down to kiss her deeply. He needed the kiss to know that she was still there. At first she responded in a deep moan as she let her lips move against his. But then suddenly she wasn't there anymore.

JJ put her hands on his chest to push him away in anger. ''You can't just kiss this away, Aaron. Not this!'' she said angrily.

''I didn't know she was pregnant, JJ! I swear!'' he said, hoping she would believe him.

JJ nodded in response. ''I believe you.''

''Then what's the problem?''

''What's the problem?'' JJ repeated in astonishment. ''You're going to have a baby, Aaron! A baby. Do you understand what that means?''

''Yes, I do.''

''I think you don't.'' she contradicted as she grabbed her bag from the floor and made her way towards the door. She had one hand on the knob as she still faced him. ''You should talk to Haley before we even have this conversation. I don't want to be involved right now.''

''What does this mean, JJ?''

''You ask that a lot!'' she shot back. ''I don't know. I'm going home and you need to talk to Haley.''

''JJ!'' he pleaded but she walked out the door and closed it behind her. Hotch put his hands on his head in anger. It couldn't be real. Everything seemed like a nightmare he wanted to wake up from. But he knew better than that. It was a reality. A very shocking one.

Once he got himself together, he left his bedroom and walked into the living room where Haley was glued to the couch. She looked good as always, even when she was pregnant. He still had to get used to it. It looked kind of funny. ''I can't believe this.'' he breathed out as he sat down in the chair across from Haley. ''Why didn't you tell me sooner?''

''Because I thought you wouldn't take responsibility because that's who you are, Aaron.'' Haley explained. ''And it looks like you haven't changed much.''

''What are you talking about?''

''The nameless blonde who just left your apartment in tears.'' she replied. ''I didn't hurt you that bad!''

''You cheated on me with some guy named, Hunter, who was in college!'' he huffed out in anger. ''I moved on from you a long time ago, Haley.''

''Really? So who are those other girls you were with? Who was the blonde?'' she asked. ''Revenge? A simple fling?''

Hotch felt the anger rise and he didn't know what to do with the woman in front of him. ''Her name is JJ, Haley. She's everything you're not!'' he began. ''And she isn't a fling or a way to get back at you. I'm in love with her.''

Haley felt like fainting. He wasn't lying. She could hear it in his voice. He was really in love and it shocked her. He changed and she had no idea how someone could ever do that. ''I'm sorry for making such a mess of everything.'' she apologized quickly. ''But after a lot of thinking, I realized that every child deserves to have both parents and I want our child to have the best, Aaron.''

''I agree with you, even though I'm still processing.'' he started. ''But I want to be there.''

''I'm happy to hear that.'' Haley said in relief. ''But I didn't come here for child support or to get you back. I just wanted to leave the choice up to you.''

''It's clear, Haley. I don't want this baby to grow up without a father.'' he said sadly, thinking about his own father. ''I just need to figure some things out because this isn't easy. So do you mind if we talk about this tomorrow?''

''Of course, Aaron. Take all the time you need. Although this little boy isn't going to wait much longer.'' she joked, realizing she just revealed the sex of the baby without asking if he wanted to know. ''Oh, I'm sorry.''

''It's fine.'' he reassured. ''So a boy?'' he asked and Haley nodded. ''That's great.''

''It is.'' Haley said happily. ''I'm staying with my parents for the next couple of weeks until the baby is born. You can stop by whenever you want to talk.''

''I'll come by tomorrow. I promise!''

''Bye.'' she said before she left the apartment.

After Haley left Hotch immediately grabbed his keys and ran to his own car. He needed to talk to JJ because he didn't want to leave things like they were. They needed to have a real conversation because having a child wasn't exactly what he planned so early on.

* * *

On the other side of town, JJ rushed into her house and slammed the door shut. The anger and shock was still taking over her behavior, so she didn't even notice her aunt and uncle in the living room. She just ran upstairs and dropped down to her own bed in tears. She didn't know what to do. An hour ago everything was perfect. Everything was normal and now everything was falling apart.

Sara and Tom followed her upstairs because they knew something had to be very wrong. JJ never stormed into the house without saying hello. Sara softly knocked on the door but there was no response from the other side. ''JJ?'' she asked as she gently opened the door, standing next to Tom. They both stepped inside. ''JJ, what's going on?''

JJ sat up in the bed and looked at the two adults in front of her. She knew they cared but she just needed some time alone to think about her problems. ''Aaron's ex-girlfriend is pregnant.'' she cried out. ''She's pregnant.''

''What?'' Tom yelled out. ''He cheated on you?''

''No, it happened before we got together. She's having the baby in a few weeks.'' JJ explained in a hurry. ''I just don't know what to do.''

''You're going to stay away from him, JJ. That's what you're going to do!'' Sara said immediately.

''What?'' JJ yelled. ''No!''

''I agree with Sara, JJ. This guy only has a bad influence on you. You need to stay away from him!'' Tom said.

''I'm eighteen you have no say in this!'' she said, rising from the bed in anger. She wasn't going to let it happen. She was old enough to decide for herself.

''As long as you live here, you will do what we say.'' Sara said instantly. ''This is our house!''

JJ felt the anger and hurt rise. ''You're not mother! You're not my father! So why do you care?''

Sara felt her heart sink as JJ yelled at them. ''Because you're our little niece, JJ. You have become like a daughter to us and we'll do anything to protect you.''

''We love you, JJ.'' Tom said emotionally as he stepped forward but JJ held up her hand. ''We want to help you.''

''You both think Aaron causes so much trouble but he has only made me feel better. He doesn't have a bad influence on me!'' she cried out. ''He's had my life livable. I love him.''

The doorbell suddenly rang and Sara immediately left the room to go downstairs to see who the visitor was. She had a feeling it was going to be Hotch to check on JJ. She knew he cared about her. It was obvious when they were together. They looked like a good couple but this time she just had to protect her niece no matter what the cost was going to be. JJ deserved to live a life filled with freedom.

Sara sighed deeply before she opened the door. And her suspicions were confirmed when a distraught Hotch stood in front of her. She could see the panic on his face and it pained her. He probably didn't choose this either. ''You're not going to talk to her!'' Sara said before he was going to say something.

''I just need to see her!'' he tried to say but she interrupted him.

''Do you remember what we talked about when I first met you?'' she asked. ''You told me you would never hurt her!'' Sara said angrily.

''You blame me for her pain, don't you?'' Hotch asked.

''Yeah, I do!'' Sara replied. ''You take a great girl like JJ and you tear her apart!''

''Is that what you think?'' Hotch asked in shock. ''JJ's life was in ruins before I even met her. She has lost her way completely. She still isn't over the fact that she survived the accident and her family didn't. She's still broken but she's slowly picking up the pieces.'' he went on. ''She was hurt before I even came into her life. And I don't want to hurt her because I love her!''

''You're just so wrong for her, Aaron.'' Sara stated. ''She'll do anything to be with you.''

''What are you saying?''

''JJ will give up her life for you. She'll raise that baby with you if she has to. She will.'' Sara began. ''But for once in your life you have a chance to be selfless and to give JJ the life she deserves. Let JJ go.'' she said simply, not knowing what damage her statement would ultimately cost. ''Love her but let her go. She deserves so much more right now. She can't raise a baby with you.''

Hotch let the words sink in and he knew Sara was right. JJ did deserve more. ''I'll come back tomorrow.'' he said in defeat before he turned around. ''Don't tell her I stopped by.''

''I won't.'' Sara promised. She closed the door to find JJ standing on the stairs and Tom was right behind her.

JJ walked towards Sara. She knew Hotch just left. She only heard the last part of the conversation and she wondered what they talked about. ''What did you do?'' she asked, noticing the sadness in her expression. ''What did you say to him?'' JJ asked frantically.

''Nothing!'' Sara replied.

''You should never go behind my back again!'' JJ warned. ''Never!''

''Or what, JJ?'' Sara asked.

''It's my life! It's my freaking life and you're just walking all over it!'' she said as she walked towards the door. She opened it and she stepped outside and made a run to her car.

''JJ, don't do this!'' Sara said but she felt Tom's hand on her shoulder.

''Let her go, Sara!'' Tom said to stop her from leaving the house. ''She needs to figure this out on her own. She's right. This isn't our business.''

''I never wanted her to get hurt.''

''I know.'' Tom whispered, knowing JJ would come back eventually. He just didn't know if she would come back in pieces or as a whole person. That still had to be seen but deep down he hoped she would come back as a whole person because JJ in pieces wasn't something he could deal with.


	45. Chapter 44

A/N: Here's the final chapter of this story. I hope you all enjoyed this story!

Special thanks to Westie80, Lexis4MorganPrentiss, Sophia0665, Christiangirl and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

* * *

**Chapter 44: The heart wrenching choice**

JJ ended up at Hotch's apartment again. It was really late but she didn't want to wait to have the conversation. She needed to know what was going to happen. The thinking was driving her crazy and she was wondering what Sara said to Hotch. She knew it was probably an attempt to keep him away from her, which wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't lose him. He had become the most important person in her life and she didn't know what she would do without him. With him she saw a reason to live and even more reasons to keep moving forward with her life.

JJ finally knocked on the door and it was opened a few seconds after it. Hotch was standing in front of her with a lifeless expression. It was as if reality was finally hitting him. She just didn't know which reality. ''What did Sara ask you?'' she said bluntly because she needed to know. Avoidance wasn't going to help anything.

The panic on JJ's face made his insides turn, knowing what he was about to do. He wanted nothing more than to replay the entire night and stop it from happening. They reached that point of no return after they slept together. It only heightened their feelings and now he had to destroy the one thing that brought happiness into his life. ''Sara has nothing to do with this, JJ.'' he said in a whisper.

''That's bullshit and you know it!'' she noticed. He wasn't making eye contact. He didn't even have the guts to look at her. ''Look at me!'' she ordered. ''If you're going to do this, you have to look at me!'' she said as the first tear fell down her face. And then the rest came as they stood across from each other in total silence. JJ's body was shaking slightly as she realized what was happening.

''Aaron!'' JJ called out as she followed him into the small living room. She stopped when he started pacing through the room. She knew he felt nervous and unworthy at that moment and she wished she could take away all his problems. Not just for her but for him as well. ''We have to talk about this!''

He finally stopped and stepped towards her. ''There's nothing to talk about, JJ.'' he said with annoyance. ''It's actually pretty simple!''

''Don't do this.'' she said, knowing he was putting distance between them. ''Don't run away from me. Not now.''

''What am I supposed to do?'' he asked. ''Everything has changed, JJ. Everything.''

''No,'' she started. ''Nothing has changed. What I feel for you hasn't changed. The fact that I love you hasn't changed.''

''How could you say that? Everything has changed.'' he protested. ''I can't do this. Not like this.''

JJ's eyes were still watery at that point. She had a feeling where this was going and that was the last thing she wanted to happen. She was finally happy with where she was. All the pieces in her life were finally falling into place and it took two years to get there, but now she was there and it all threatened to fall apart again. ''I just told you that I love you. Doesn't that make you happy?'' she said angrily. ''I freaking love you with all that I have! I love you!'' she added. ''Doesn't that matter?''

Hotch stayed silent while JJ was desperately waiting for an answer but he wasn't talking. The short silence was already killing her. ''So maybe things have changed.'' she agreed. ''You're right. I have changed, Aaron. But so have you. And we are happy together.''

''I would've been happier if I didn't have to do what I am about to do. It would've made me happier if I didn't have to lose you after everything we've been through.''

''You don't need to do this!'' she said while she took his hands in hers. ''This is real! We are real. I love you, Aaron. More than anything in this world and I can't stand to lose you.'' she said. Hotch pulled his hands from hers and took a step backwards. ''Don't say it. Please don't say it.'' she begged.

Everything inside of him was telling him to hold her and never let go but it wasn't right. It wasn't her responsibility to raise a baby with him. She had an entire life ahead of her. He couldn't stand to take that away from her while she was still so young. ''I wished I didn't have to do this, JJ. Don't you understand?''

''Then don't do this. I am begging you, Aaron. Don't diminish what we have. It can't end like this.''

''I am sorry I can't.'' he said, taking another step backwards. If he was going to say it, he needed distance. He couldn't do it while he was so close to her. He realized he was the biggest coward in the world but he was doing this for JJ. Not for himself. For her. ''I don't want to do this. But I am not Sean, JJ. I am not selfless. I'll never be like him.'' he began. ''I am selfish. I don't care about other people's feelings. I fell in love with my brother's girl and I never took time to look at the damage I caused. I'm not the kind of guy you deserve. I am the bad guy. I do whatever I feel is right.'' he went on. ''But right now. In this moment. I can't be selfish because this is about you and I need to do the right thing for you.'' he explained as he looked into her blue piercing eyes. Her eyes always did it for him but this time it only hurt to look at them.

''You think you're being selfless by letting me go. Is that what you believe?'' she asked in tears. ''Because right now it feels like you're ripping my heart out. I need you to fight for us!''

Hotch shook his head. ''I can't. I can't, JJ.''

She walked towards him and stopped in front of him, leaving enough room. ''Do you remember when we stood in this room and you promised me that nothing would stop you from fighting for me?'' she yelled out. ''Was that just another lie?''

''No, it wasn't.'' he answered.

''You're just giving up without trying!'' she noticed. ''You're not even trying to make me stay in your life.''

''There's nothing else I can do, JJ.''

She shook her head in response. ''You can fight!'' she yelled out as she walked closer towards him. ''You need to fight because you owe me that! Especially after everything we've been through to get here!''

Hotch took JJ's hands in his to keep her from hurting him. He could see she was at a point of punching him in the face. ''Yes, I owe you so much. But I can't be in this relationship when it can cost you your happiness. I won't even do it.'' he went on. ''Because everything will change when I have a child, JJ. I need to be there. I can't just walk away.''

This time JJ was the one who stopped talking. She no longer had the energy to fight for someone who clearly was willing to give up when things turned harder.

''I've always know you were a good person, JJ. You're so much better than me. You're good and pure. I don't want to be the one to change that and I am afraid I already have.'' he explained, seeing JJ pull away. The expression on her face turned into fear and loathing instead of passion. ''I am taking away everything you are because what I've asked from you. The moment we became friends you turned on everything you believe in.'' he said as JJ turned around. ''I don't want to shatter your innocence or your morals because I know you value them.''

''I don't care about any of that when I am with you!'' she whispered, keeping her back turned towards him the entire time.

''Yeah, that's exactly my point, JJ.'' he started. ''What would your parents say if you were planning on raising a baby with your ex-boyfriend's older brother?''

His last question caused her to whirl around in anger. ''Don't talk about my parents! Don't even try!'' she yelled. ''You never knew them. My parents only wanted me to be happy and if it would take me raising a baby with the guy I love to be happy, they would've let me. Because they loved me, Aaron!'' she went on in tears. ''And you don't destroy the people you love!''

''JJ!'' he said when she walked to the door. ''JJ!''

JJ turned around one last time, knowing it was probably the last time she would ever see him. ''You won, Aaron!'' she said sadly, knowing he didn't understand. She wanted to walk out but she felt like throwing it in his face. ''I fell in love with you before the end of summer! You won the bet!''

''JJ…'' he breathed out as more tears streamed down her face. ''This wasn't about a bet for me. It never was.''

''It sure as hell looks like it.'' she replied. ''I hope you have a wonderful life, Aaron.'' she said before leaving the apartment in tears. And in that moment her entire future crumbled down. Everything she wanted was just taken away from her and she wondered if she would ever recover from the betrayal she was feeling in her heart. All the time she fought to be with Hotch just turned into wasted time. Time that she could've spent with Sean or Stacy. But she suddenly realized that time passed by in a second. Noting seemed right to her in that moment. She just hoped that one day everything would become right again. She just never thought this would be her path into the future. Now she just needed to wait to find out what was ahead of her. Maybe a life full of happiness, but she knew a life filled with struggles could be right around the corner. Maybe one day she would meet a man who could truly love her and fight for her love.

* * *

"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward."

- Henry Ford

* * *

A/N: So this is the end, but I am not finished. The sequel is around the corner and I hope you all read it. I think I will post it as soon as possible. It will be titled: ''Just Like Yesterday''. And it that story it will be confirmed that the child is indeed Hotch's son, Jack. Thanks for all the amazing support and I hope to hear from all of you again! This story was a lot of drama to write and your support keeps me going!


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